A 24 Cracked Round-Up
Since last week, we've started spotlighting some of our favorite Cracked Topic Pages. This week, we'd like to direct your attention towards 24. Edited by Cracked forum regular and occasional contributor Technohawk, the 24 page has more testosterone-filled Jack Bauer-related awesomeness than you're probably capable of handling. Click to learn everything you need to know about the whole series, including its abnormal glorification of cellphones.
Check out more Topic Pages or create your own by signing up in the forums.
awkward David Letterman interviews.Speaking of awkward, Bucholz wants to help you take naked pictures of people. Speaking of people, Brockway teams up with science to explain why video games are bad. (For peope.) Finally, DOB is an asshole.
NEXT DOOR MURDERER!
|5 Horrific Serial Killers Who are Free Right Now
As a matter of fact, a crazy serial killer may be working in your down, right now! Right this second! Right behind you!
Notable Comment: Wild_Marker brings up a good point: " What? No Cracked commenters on that list?" We're as shocked as you are.
|8 Customers Everyone Hates
"And I'd like a bagel toasted in a toaster, not a microwave, and I want the butter on it while it was being toasted. I know that sounds impossible but do it. Thanks."
Notable Comment: allpuffedup says " What about the Cassanovas? You know, the guys who start hitting on female service workers and don't realize they're only giving them the time of day because it's their freaking job? I've had assholes asking me out and others telling me they were imagining me naked. And of course I would have gotten fired if I told them to fuck off." We're sorry to hear that, Puffed, really. Hey, you look tired, why don't you sit down, let Cracked massage those shoulders of ours. There ya go, relax. Hey, wanna get naked? Naked for Cracked?
WEEKEND AT HAND MONSTER!
|Lost in Translation: 20 Baffling Foreign Movie Posters
"What's Chinatown about, nose goblins? It's nose goblins, right? Yeah, I'm gonna go with nose goblins."
Notable Comment:7obias says " Great work! Weekend at Bernies doesnt qualify though. It is a clear symbol of holding another mans life (despite being dead) in your hands." You're blowing our minds, 7obias...
|The 6 Most Pathetic Attempts to Get Super Bowl Tickets
Here's a crazy suggestion: You could buy them. No?
Notable Comment: We love CodyCastor. "I have a friend who once entered into a contract in which he agreed to kickbox a werewolf, with the winner getting two tickets to the Super Bowl. What wasn't stated in the contract was the fact that the werewolf, Min Xuyang, was actually from Thailand and had grown up training with the best in the world. Needless to say, my friend was beaten by 3rd round TKO and that fucking Thai werewolf got to go to the Super Bowl. The worst part is that werewolves don't even like football." Little bastard always makes us laugh.
|6 Inspiring Rags to Riches Stories (That Are Bullshit)
More like Abraham Stinkin', right? Because he's a dirty stinkin' liar! Ha!
Notable Comment:albatronix says " I will no longer be able to close my eyes without that image of Bill Gates in his "sexy pose" appearing. Thank you Cracked, you have burned my retinas." Well, then, we warn you: Do NOT check out the video we plan on running next week, ("9 Things I'd Put in My Butt [And Four Things I Never Thought I Would But Did Anyway] By Bill Gates"). You will not like it.
|I Am a Building
Seriously guys, don't be racist.
YOU YOU YOU!
|If Everyday Objects Were Designed by MC Escher
We're practically giving money away! Wait, not practically. Totally. We're totally giving away money to people, people with mediocre to decent Photoshop skills. People like you. Wouldn't you like to be a person like you? This week, you can be by entering our latest contest, Unfortunately Placed Ads.
Elroy from the Jetsons ended up like many child stars do.
The demand for up-skirt photos of Lady Liberty is HUGE these days!
I'll bet he's a lot more careful with his SECOND wish.
Wait till the ice caps melt, we'll see who's retarded.
What's the matter? Artistic Physical embodiment of malicious intent and selfish decisions, at least in terms of a culmination of modern/ancient theology, got your tongue?
Weirdest wedding cake topper EVER.
"Dammit Steve! I said, 'Rent a Hummer.'"
...And long story short, that's why I'm late for work.
"Watch your self walking around the demolition site - there are some very shark objects around..."
"You mean sharp, right?"
n a thousand years archaeologists will go into the ruins of this office building, find desks and copy machines and computers...and these. Good job guys. Way to mindfuck the future.
"Alright, which one of you idiots used an ORANGE piece of paper!?"
Not all of the victims of Pompeii were found in dignified positions.
The Tomb of the Unknown Breakdancer in Washington, D.C.