Extend Your Hand, Palm Outward in Greece
What you think you are saying:
"Phew! That was a heck of a moussaka. I'd eat another portion, but I'm completely stuffed."
What you are actually saying:
"Phew! That was a heck of a moussaka. I'd eat another portion, but I'm too busy rubbing handfuls of shit in your face."
What the hell?
In Greece, the "hand out" gesture is known as the moutza, and it dates back to the time of the Byzantine Empire, when criminals would be paraded through the streets on horseback, their faces blackened to indicate their shame. If they were lucky, the blackening agent would merely be charcoal. If they were unlucky, it would be a substance much, much worse ...
SHIT, is what we're saying here. Their faces would be covered in SHIT.
If you really want to piss a Greek person off, you can go for the double moutza, which features both hands splayed above your head. However, this will also make you look like a backup dancer from Cats, so it's your call.

Give the Thumbs-Up In The Middle East

What you think you are saying:
"Ayyyyy! I'm the fuckin' Fonz!"
What you are actually saying:
"Ayyyyy! I'm going to jam my thumb in your anus!"
What the hell?
It's not just the Middle East. This seemingly universal gesture is also hideously offensive in West Africa and South America, whose citizens would doubtless get really confused if they ever watched Ebert and Roeper. "This movie is great, Bill! So great that I'd like to anally rape it with my thumb!"
The thumbs-up sign has been confusing people for thousands of years. Contrary to Hollywood legend, Roman gladiators were not spared by a thumbs-up, but by a hidden thumb. If the origins of both gestures are linked, we can only assume this meant, "Do not kill the prisoner, he seems the perfect solution to the emperor's arthritic finger."

Finish Your Meal In Thailand / The Philippines / China
What you think you are saying:
"This is a delicious meal. I mean it. I'm not the kind of guy who would lie about something like this. In fact, your meal was so fucking fabulous that I am going to finish every last morsel and then lick the plate so bright that it reveals the face of God."
What you are actually saying:
"You call yourself a host? I came here for a meal, not some Lilliputian hors d'oeuvre that wouldn't satisfy a mouse after a sizable brunch. Look at me. No, in the eyes. You disgust me."
What the hell?
It is always important that the host provides you with tasty food. However, in countries where steak in bleu cheese sauce costs approximately the same as a lung transplant, it is more important that the host provides you with enough food.
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