We said we ve got a ton of laughter-and-medical-themed puns for these round-ups, and we meant it, people. They re only getting worse from here. Worse, even, than having high blood pressure. More like high-larious, right, everybody? Ah, seriously though, folks, you should never have too much salt in your diet.
What you should have in your diet, however, is a healthy dose of comedy, which we are licensed to administer. So roll up your sleeve and point us to your nearest vein, because we ve got one, fat needle full of laughter that s looking for a bloodstream.
We don t want to spoil anything, but the guy who wrote this article was dead the whole fucking time.
Cracked commentator brh says In The Life of David Gale
they have sex before she kills herself ... wheres the elephant? We wanted to bring that to your attention before you read the article, because it is much, much funnier taken out of context. Really, based on that comment, this article could be about anything.
Find out what some of your favorite (well, seventh and eighth favorite)
characters are doing when not filming Star Wars
movies (Spoiler alert: Nothing). We would also like to go on record to say that Cracked contributor Michael Swaim does not respect Mark Hamill.
Ghostline06 posted a story about how he almost needed to beat up the real-life Boba Fett for hitting on his girlfriend at a sci-fi convention years ago. We re still not sure if this means we need to take Boba Fett off this list, for his badass boldness and arrogance, or if we should move him to No. 1, because he s picking up chicks at a sci-fi convention.
We bring out all the celebrity steroids scandals into the public s eye (read: the eight people who read Cracked), after hours upon hours of arduous research (read: 6 minutes on Wikipedia). We sincerely hope that the celebrities we mention enjoy the article (read: please don t sue us).
Jhonny Two-Guns posts I've noticed that plenty of people who know absolutely nothing about bodybuilding are quick to brand someone with muscles as a juice monster. Know absolutely nothing about bodybuilding, Jhonny? Why, just because we spend all of our time sitting in front of the computer and making sure that our Texas-sized man-crush on Christian Bale spreads like the Clap? Is ... is that why? OK, yeah. When you really think about it, that actually sounds pretty reasonable.