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Drunken celebrities are the very lifeblood of Internet video. YouTube would be a dark, lonely place without them. In CRACKED's never-ending mission to bring a sense of class and dignity to the Web, we look beneath the surface to present the life lessons we can learn when famous people drink themselves into a stupor. #11.
"Ah, the French ..."
The Clip:
Highlights:
What Makes It Poignant:
Stop and smell the roses, guys. This is what happens when you peak too early. #10.
"You a pirate, man."
The Clip:
Highlights:
What Makes It Poignant:
Look, Hollywood, we need to believe in Jack Bauer. We need to believe that if a dirty bomb is about to explode in L.A., there's a Jack Bauer out there who can stop it by killing 135 people in a single frantic day. It does not help us to see Jack Bauer as a 40-year-old frat boy, trying desperately to cling to the rock-band fantasy of his youth and flinging himself into Christmas decorations to prove what a wild, rocking guy he is. #9.
"I'm ugly ... and my jaw hurts."
The Clip:
Highlights:
Warning: Britney's bizarre, jerky body movements starting at about 2 minutes might make you instinctively fling your hands up to protect your face.
What Makes It Poignant:
As for the disconcerting part, how fucking weird is it to see a clip where Kevin Federline strikes you as the informed, level-headed one in the room? Well, maybe until the last 4 seconds, anyway. #8.
"Only in America ..."
The Clip:
Highlights:
What Makes It Poignant:
Admit it: If this guy was your local bartender, or neighbor, or UPS delivery man--any position where he couldn't do any real damage--it'd be easy to like him. Look at him toss back the drink the second he steps away from the interviewer. That guy would have been happy in some sales job, one where he's always on the road and flirting with the ladies at every stop. But, no, his name was George Bush and as a result, he was destined to become the closest thing to King of the world. Only in America. #7.
"He's freakin' GENIUUUSSSS!!!"
The Clip:
Highlights:
What Makes It Poignant:
She staggered through life, married a rich old guy, yelled at everyone around her, and became one of the world's greatest living sideshows of all time in the process, complete with clown makeup. It's not funny like a Judd Apatow movie; it's funny like a three-hour montage of guys getting hit in the nuts. |
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fleakfragfry, she was eating. disgustingly.
Yo, I don't think she's drunk, I think she's rolling. The twitchy movements and jaw pain, plus the way she keeps moving it around and grinding her teeth. the creepy childish overemotional whininess. Yeah, totally rolling.
'is it possible to travel to the future? yes, it is, the cameraman' - drunk Britney ugh lol
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it's amazing... the hilton's have hit all major websites and erased there daughter's little outburst, but if you do a google video search you can still find it on some obscure sites, you just have to know what you're looking for. forget the n-word (it gets dropped by a lot of people to the point that it's a cliche scandal), the fact that she talks about that girl being poor and from compton makes me want to punch her in the face. i know "The Simple Life" was about as far from reality as a reality show can get, but she at least saw the homes people live in. does she get that other people aren't so much poor as much as she is richer than anyone ever really needs to be? it's like wealthy people have forgotten that down here we're broke cuz THEY HAVE ALL THE CASH! you can't stockpile the money and then insult people for not having any left. b***h.