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Home > Movies & TV > Where Aren’t They Now?: 5 Post-Star Wars Careers Almost as Pathetic as Mark Hamill's

Where Aren’t They Now?: 5 Post-Star Wars Careers Almost as Pathetic as Mark Hamill's

By Michael Swaim October 17, 2007 1,008,498 views
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Mark "Luke Skywalker" Hamill is living proof that a man only has so much good fortune coming to him in a lifetime. Hamill used up all of his by 1983, and has spent every year since voicing cartoons and being accosted by Star Wars geeks on the street.

As we recognize the tragedy that has been Hamill's post-Star Wars life, we should also take time to remember the other greats who suffered the same fate. Here are five men who were integral to the Star Wars franchise but whose careers outside the trilogy were almost almost as sad as Hamill's:

Peter Cushing

The character:
Imperial Officer Grand Moff Wilhuff Tarkin

The actor:
Peter Cushing was so old-school, he actually appeared in a Laurel and Hardy movie (A Chump at Oxford). That was before George Lucas was even freaking born. Cushing was best known for his work in Hammer horror films, often opposite longtime friend Count Dooku—er, Christopher Lee. Cushing also played Dr. Who in two films and came very close to changing Star Wars history forever: he was originally considered for the role of Obi-Wan over Alec Guinness. Picture that.

Inestimable contribution to the films:
Tarkin was nothing less than the real badass of the first film. When Vader started air-choking a guy, it was Tarkin who told him to back it off and Vader did what he was told. Also, you thought it was scary when Anakin killed those kids in Episode III? Tarkin killed a whole planet's worth of them on Alderaan, and for even less reason.

Without Cushing's Tarkin next to him, Vader just looks silly with his mask and cape. Cushing's reptillian deathmask of a face made Tarkin look like a guy you could see on the news tonight, on trial for war crimes.

Most memorable line:
"You're far too trusting. Dantooine is too remote to make an effective demonstration. But don't worry, we will deal with your rebel friends soon enough."

Best Youtube video featuring character:
Our vote goes to this bizarre still of Tarkin looking particularly skeletal while a deep-voiced Latino man narrates in Spanish about God know what. If you speak Spanish, feel free to post a full translation in the comments section, as we're actually quite curious about it.

Weirdest merchandise based on character:
This full-body Tarkin costume, complete with disturbing rubber death mask and a wig of what looks like steel wire.

Best excerpt from Wikipedia entry on character:
"In an incident that became known as the 'Ghorman Massacre,' Tarkin ordered his ship to land on a platform where a large group of protesters were protesting the Imperial taxation on the distant planet Ghorman. Hundreds of Imperial subjects were crushed by Tarkin's transport in the landing."

Best excerpt from Wikipedia entry on actor:
"In 1989 Cushing was made an Officer of the Order of the British Empire. He retired to Whitestable, where he had bought a seafront house in 1959, and continued his hobby of birdwatching."

Where is he now?
Dead. But, between Star Wars and dying, he managed to appear in various films as a major, commissioner, commander and colonel, forever typecasting him and earning him a military funeral. He was also in a movie called Biggles: Adventures in Time which is apparently about a time-traveling WWI fighter pilot named Bigglesworth. We're guessing he didn't get knighted for that one.

Mark Hamill Career Sadness Rating: 15 (out of 100)
Cushing didn’t have Hamill's high expectations, of course, because he wasn't the star. Also, he was knighted, though his knighting is one of those knightings (see Penelope Cruz) that could be seen more as a statement about how little it means to be knighted these days.

Still, he got to tell people he was a knight and when little kids heard that they probably thought it meant he had slayed a dragon. That is, until they caught him bird watching.

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1532 Comments

David Prowse also appeased in "A Clockwork Orange". I dunno, "Star Wars" and "A Clockwork Orange"? It doesn't get any cooler than that.

3/12/2009 12:50:00 PM
Brendan4000

A model is looking for a good man. Please reach me as cadicecc at======== C l a s s y M i n g l e . COM ==== . Please
don't disturb me if you are not serious.

2/25/2009 8:09:17 PM
candicc

I know I'm going to sound like a geek but who here isn't a geek. It's probably already been said but I have an amendment to make for the Boba Fett page. The article incorrectly states that Boba Fett was killed by being pushed off the barge and into the Sarlaac pit. While true that he was pushed into the Sarlaac pit he was not killed by this. In fact Boba Fett in all of his glorious awesomeness killed the Sarlaac from the inside and escaped.

2/24/2009 2:09:37 PM
MonkBiz85

Wedge's most memorable line is easily: "Look at the size of that thing!"

1/12/2009 8:25:41 AM
Keeper_of_Faith

You can't put Peter Cushing on this list! He had a GREAT career! This guy played Sherlock Holmes, Abraham Van Helsing and Victor Frankenstein. Who else can say that? As an encore he made one of most popular and influential movies of all time. Give me a break. Otherwise, hilarious article, as usual.

1/8/2009 12:00:37 PM
BeirutWedding

page 2, that's not a wookie costume, that is an Ewok!!!

1/7/2009 5:25:21 PM
RabbitSphere

...Yeah, what thatother1dude said!

1/5/2009 8:09:36 AM
trilliongrams

Mark Hamill became a voice actor because he knew he'd be overassociated with Luke Skywalker and he got a scar. He's a highly respected voice actor who's repetoire includes one of the best versions of the Joker and the villain in the dub of a Miyazaki film. Unless you're one of those people that considers voice acting an inheritely crappy career he's pretty much done better than everyone in the original trilogy but Harrison Ford.

1/4/2009 10:25:19 PM
thatother1dude

So I wonder what my Mark Hamill rating would be considering I've paid for autographs from Prowse and Mayhew from this list, as well as Anthony Daniels and Ray Park. Technically, they were for my son, but I did pay for them...ah, DragonCon, what a geek you make of us all.

I also don't need Peter Mayhew to wear a special shirt to recognize him. Yea, I'm a geek.

1/4/2009 7:02:29 PM
scarfyrre

If you want to see pathetic star wars actors, watch justin lee collins TV show where he tries to re-unite the cast, the ones who show up are pretty much all on this list.
Carrie Fisher ALMOST went but thought better of it

1/4/2009 10:04:19 AM
-Scorpio

wow. i had never heard david prowse's speaking voice before, but it appears eddie izzard was pretty much dead on when he was talking about vader with a welsh accent, meaning his imitation is pretty much spot on, that is. would have been truly hiliarious.

1/3/2009 5:25:19 PM
grimmlock

Oh, wow, never mind. Reading technology 0%!

1/3/2009 7:55:19 AM
cadbury_egg

Oh I *know* you didn't just say that about Hornblower.

1/3/2009 7:54:51 AM
cadbury_egg

Hamill's post Star Wars career wasn't that bad. After all he played Colonel Christopher Blair in the Wing Commander Video games along side of Biff from Back to the Future and the dude from Clockwork Orange

1/1/2009 11:30:23 PM
ojuice3112

I wouldnt say Lawson's career is even nearly as pathetic as Mark Hamills...he was in Hornblower after all! :P ( No it aint no porno!)

12/31/2008 5:07:19 PM
ScotsGard

It's worse than you think for Jeremy Bulloch. He was the best man last year at a sci-fi convention.

http://www.knoxnews.com/kns/local_news/article/0,1406,KNS_347_5568216,00.html

12/31/2008 7:14:12 AM
Tennessee

But Boba Fett is still ALIVE!!! Don't you people read books?

12/29/2008 10:58:28 PM
Jedifreak

Lord bronco is garbed in traditional Mandalorian armor with a cape, and several braids made of Wookiee pelts at his shoulder. His gauntlets also feature a wrist-mounted flame thrower, sonic beam weapons, dart shooter, several blades, and a fibercord whip with a grappling hook. Other weapons include a jetpack with a miniature concussion rocket launcher, rocket dart launchers, grenades, gas pellets, and a pulse cannon."

-how cool is that?

I didn't even have tot play WOW to acieve all of these Purple Drops.

Suck it B's

-LB!

12/29/2008 4:05:26 AM
lordbronco

Hating on an Old Man-Now That's pretty brewtal-5 stars!

12/29/2008 4:00:14 AM
lordbronco

I remember David Prowse best for his role in CLOCKWORK ORANGe where he played the live in caretaker of the widowed author whose house Alex returns to later in the movie.

12/28/2008 8:23:19 PM
MartyRotten

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