Highlight: At 1:41, MTV shows Justin Timberlake, clearly shocked and hurt as the girl he loved is lesin'-out in front of millions of people, including his friends and parents. Well, at least that Criss Angel story probably didn't catch him totally off guard.
Fiona Apple "Bravely" Denounces Show Business (1997)
Synopsis: Upon winning the Moonman for Best New Artist, Apple steps up on her soapbox and delivers an oh-so-lame "be yourself" speech, complete with a vague Maya Angelou quote to show the world she's been to this site. Her bold, effectual message-"This world is bullshit!"-convinced every celebrity to stop being famous and influential, which is why America no longer has an entertainment industry.
Highlight: At 2:16, when she points to you (you affected, Entertainment Tonight-watching swine, you) and says "See, Maya Angelou..." All the while, she's thinking, "f**k, I'm so deep and profound, they can't handle me. I'm so profound, I'm gonna give my next album a 90-word title, which they also won't be able to handle."
R Kelly "Performs" Trapped in the Closet (2005)
Synopsis: Transcending the VMAs, this is quite possibly the oddest live performance we've seen anywhere, ever. If the song wasn't a Top 40 hit, we're pretty sure it would qualify as avant-garde performance art. For one, it doesn't appear that Kelly or MTV are trying to do anything to hide that fact that he' lip-syncing. Missing entire words, phrases and even sentences, you can't help but get the impression that he doesn't know the lyrics despite having written the song. Even stranger is Kelly' decision to over act every role portrayed in the song, including the woman he' sleeping with, her husband, her husband' gay lover and himself. The only role that Kelly manages to pull off, however, is "man in suit with the intellect of a 5 year old playing with his imaginary friends."
Highlight: At 4:45, Kelly gets into an argument with himself and completely loses his s**t, fake-shouting words that aren't even in the song. Then, apparently confused about which character he' supposed to be, he starts pretending to put earrings on for no discernible reason.