LESSON: Trust no one.
Those phantoms in the fog are actually malevolent hicks, dressed up as ghosts to scare you off their spooky farm. That monster hiding in the attic is actually old man McGee, trying to find the treasure buried in the floorboards. And that happy-go-lucky frat boy, Fred, is actually a bloodthirsty killer. Don't turn your back on him. Or the girls. Or your dog
"‚¦Or maybe we've just been spending too much time in the Mystery Machine, and got a little contact high paranoia. Hey, it happens. You want a Scooby Snack? Yeah, it is dog food. So what? You're really harshing my mellow man. What are you, a narc?
How it affected us as adults:
We can't be certain, but it would appear that our habit of, upon being dumped, grabbing hold of our ex-girlfriends' chin and yanking upward, started with this show.
CARTOON: He-ManLESSON: It' OK to be gay.
Look at this guy: golden locks cut in a tasteful bob, buff biceps, tanned, toned, hairless torso, a magic sword and most importantly, fabulous powers. What' more, He-Man invites his handsome friends, the Masters of the Universe, to come hang out in his castle anytime. Of course Skeletor and his fugly cohorts are never allowed access to the secrets of He-Man' dark, dry palace.
Yes, we had He-Man
toys, like Ram-Man, Trap-Jaw and even Castle Grayskull. We also had a favorite pair of tighty whiteys that had He-Man on one cheek and Skeletor on the other, battling over our asshole. But did merely owning and wearing that underwear make us gay?How it affected us as adults:
As regards the above question, it' a very complex matter, but in a word: yes. (For more on depictions of homosexuality in '80s cartoons, please see