What's the 411? You sort of have to root for this tiny, snot-nosed country- the only South American member of the powerful OPEC junta. This underdog nation's President, Hugo Chavez, gets off on being a wild hair up the ass of the United States. Oozing oil money, Venezuela is the unofficial leader of an axis of hyper-liberal Latin American countries rejecting American economic values-which boggles the mind, since the US has such a warm, brotherly relationship with South America.
Fun Fact: The capitol of Venezuela is Caracas, which you would have known, if you weren't such an ignorant capitalist douchebag.
Likes: Collectivism, bright colors, prank calling the White House, Fidel Castro, sweet delicious oil
Dislikes: George W. Bush, entrepreneurs, selfish lovers, fuel-efficient hybrid cars
Chances It Will Take Over The World: The Cuban Missile Crisis of the '60s demonstrated how a small nation can pose a big threat to America. And so verily, Venezuela threatens the world because God's bestest pal on Earth, Pat Robertson, spaketh so.
What's the 411? COBRA Island is home to an international terrorist organization dedicated to subverting world governments. In the words of its hooded founder, COBRA Commander, the rogue state, "won't stop until [it] coils around the whole world like a giant cobra!" COBRA specializes in schemes, plots, megalomaniacal speechifying, elaborate threats and ridiculous ransoms.
Fun Fact: COBRA's soldiers are notoriously poor marksmen. Many blame the COBRA vision plan.
Likes: Chaos, blackmail, kidnapping, bombs, capes, cool logos, screaming "Cobra" while flying around on machine gun-enabled hang gliders
Dislikes: GI Joe, when secret bases explode, S.P.E.C.T.R.E., truth, justice, the American Way
Chances It Will Take Over The World: It's only a matter of time until COBRA fulfills it's nefarious mission. How can they fail? They have Destro, a Scotsman in an iron mask and a sweet ruby necklace, the Baroness, a librarian/dominatrix and tens of thousands of strapping young men in ninja masks. It's like a Vegas floorshow. A Vegas floorshow of death! COBRA!
Among other awesome things, John DeVore hosts a hilarious show on SIRIUS Maxim Radio, which is appropriately titled "DeVore & Diana." Learn more about the man behind the voice here and become his internet friend here.