Look at me! I'm a photographer!
Then they asked me why I was there and after I told them about the party, they all got really quiet. One guy said I had to the leave because you couldn’t be drunk at meetings, but the guy with the clipboard said he thought I needed help so I could stay. Anyway, I fell asleep after that and a nice dude drove me home. I must have tried to change into my pajamas in my sleep because when I woke up in his crappy Honda, my underwear was on backwards. I’m SO curious now, I HAVE to go back. Maybe I’ll pretend to have a drinking problem.
It will be like I am practicing acting. Right now my acting is adequite but I want it to be really adequite.
January 26, 2006
But that just made him angry so then I’m like, hey, I already have help. I’m in A.A.! At first, he didn’t believe me, but then I told him about the meetings and all the people there and their names and where they live and what they do for a living. And then I realized that our Director of Photography was at those meetings too. I knew he looked familiar! So I called him over. He denied it at first but I screamed until he admitted it was all true.
May 17, 2006
I swear, I am going to kill that Brandon Davis. Right after I do those USO shows and do my movie with Hilary Clinton. And start a talk show with Al Gore. I know I can. I can, if I ASK! It’s there and waiting and these people want to be with me to do this things and Peace will come if we ASK!
But then I will kill
November 15, 2006
November 16, 2006
Paris: She's the best. Or the worst. I can't remember.
November 28, 2006
I didn’t go to my meeting today. I just heard Robert Altman is dead. That is SO sad. He was a genius. I know I’ve seen one of his movies. Think! Think! Groundhog Day? Yeah, I loved that movie. I am so going to send the most thoughtful “Sorry You Died” text message ever!
December 13, 2006
My ass looked really fat this week and so I haven’t had a drink in 7 DAYS. I also had an interview and told People magazine that I’d been in A.A. for a year. Later, the clipboard dude asked me if I could stop telling people my success story. He’s just jealous.
You can't take it with you. So, they didn't.
These guys make the Joker look like a well-adjusted citizen.
A lot of medical problems read like horror movie scripts.
Tour guides don't tell you all the gruesome stuff that goes down at famous locations.
The real video game villains are in the marketing department.