"So I'm sitting here, looking, at this THING. You've got something, it doesn't even qualify as a cavity. What you have here, is a big wet hole. In the middle of your face."
"Christ walked upon this Earth, but we grew tired of Him, His entire holier-than-thou vibe, so we killed Him. By pounding nails through His hands. Left Him hanging up. There. On that crucifix. Anyways, I'd imagine he is pretty, f*****g, pissed off at us. I'm forgetting, now, what that story has to do with your husband's funeral."
"I'm here. I'm right here. I'll be hiding in plain sight while you explore our commercial offerings. But if you desire my assistance, friend, you're going to have to prove your willingness to ask for it."
"This famous site is -- not -- what I want to talk to you about today. See that bench over there? One night, very late, I saw an elderly one-eyed Mexican hooker sitting there, in the moonlight, sucking a drunken man's c**k. She must have been nearly toothless, crippled, deaf, riddled with disease. But she treated her client like he was a king. It was the loveliest sight I have ever seen. That's why I remember the Alamo."
"This car, Mister Ringmaster. This f*****g tiny car holds seventeen full-sized adult male circus performers. Packed ass to face, like grease-painted sardines. But no more. Today we take the Big Top. Thousands will die."