A game of Tetris has many practical applications, from speeding up a boring subway ride to waiting out a bashful bowel movement. But did you know that the game can wash away painful, indelible memories? You may think nyet, but psychologists at Oxford University say da.
The researchers exposed 40 healthy volunteers to a series of highly upsetting images. After this montage, half the group played Tetris while the other 20 sat around with nothing to do but bawl their eyes out over what we suspect was a slideshow of injured puppies.
The softest and most adorable diabetes in town.
In the proceeding weeks, those who played Tetris experienced fewer traumatic flashbacks than those who didn't. The study speculates that the short-term analytical rigors of a Tetris game interfered with the subjects' ability to store long-term sensory memories. Or, to put it in sensationally unscientific terms, the game was erasing the players' minds.
There are limits to Tetris' cognitive magic. Tetris can only downplay traumatic events happening within the previous six hours, so if you've just seen an Uwe Boll flick, grab a Game Boy, pronto. Also, games other than Tetris don't seem to induce this emotional amnesia--for example, venting with Mortal Kombat after getting dumped will do nothing except maybe give you night terrors about Goro sexing your ex.
"Yeah, flawless Dick in your mouth... I'm sorry, baby, Goro's no good at dirty talk."