The 7 Commandments All Video Games Should Obey

Like all commandments, there are variations. But for the most part, these work. Kudos!

I should really learn to read better (or an edit button should help :P) The jumping thing in Hl2 in the Ravenholm level, really, what was so bad about that?? You're in a dark zombie town, alone (well most of the time) and you use pre-set traps like that really cool made car-trap to squish the zombies. It wasn't even a jumping "puzzle", you just did not walk in the streets.

O by the way, the same counts for Bioshock. You're a friggin' survivor of a plane crash who stumbles upon a sunken city, what the hell do you expect, that he's loaded with guns like a marine?? Come on... They're right about (in the same commandement) headcrabs in HL2 though. They could've made those little buggers much more exciting.

Some things I don't really agree on: The crowbar in Half Life 2. Really, when you start the game the only thing you really want to do is get your ass to a laboratory. Even then, after about 200 meters of fleeing you'll get a gun. Another one indeed, is the split screen in GTA4, it seems indeed pretty hard to do. With the rest, totally agreed.

expanding on #7 regarding Army of Two [for x360] as well as a slew of other new games: you need to have two 360s and two copies of the game and they cut the system link feature. you can't connect one cable and run a co-op game. you have to both be connected to xboxlive and both have gold accounts. two xbox360pros : $700 two copies of Ao2: $120 two xbxlive gold 1yr: $100 the fact that it's cost you over $200 to play a game with a buddy and you're still going to shell out an other $5 bucks each for new maps in a couple of months: priceless.

I know oblivion sucks ass if you have a fuckin arrow a shoot him the face it's like nothing happened to him.And resident evil 4 that bitch ashley is so goddamn stupid you have to friggin' catch when you climb down a ladder

I totally agree with all the commandments! The commandment about multiplayer is so relavent, the point of having games is to share them with your friends. Sure onlines ok for random killing fun, but splitscreen is definitely the way id like to kill my friends! :}

I completely agree. I have been trying to find new games to play with my boyfriend and it seems impossible nowadays.

@jackanator: Wooh, yeah, jackanate the microsoft dick, wooh! BWAHAHAHAH!

@jackanator: You can count? Wow, good for you... Loser. Go find yourself a real girl and stop jacking off to porn. And while you're at it, grow some real pubic hair. Oh wait, you can't because you're just a lil pwnable noob kid with no pubic hair. So what do you know? Working at microsoft? Oh yeah, your dick is microsoft. Wahahah!

wow~~This guy has posted his personal ad to a celebrities dating site called “LovingRich.com“ for several months. I just visited his profile page yesterday. It seems he has logged in recently. OMG, is he looking for a new relationship?

How about thou shat not sell your game or company to EA?

@callmecal 1) no one gives a shit about the age of a degenerate fuk. 2)microsoft is fuked whether i'm in it or not. 3)nintendo can go suck a fish ball.

Im probably not the first to have said this, but WTF was with that FF cutscene? Makes me want to start laughing really lound and really fake. or not. If you want a game for people who actually have dicks, try eve-online.

If microsoft actually hired you then society at large is doomed and the world of gaming rests solely on Nintendo's shoulders. Oh wait, that's true anyway. How old are you, like ten? (I'm 20, in case anybody cares)

@ Welsh, schooL? i dont know about 555666777 ( yes actually i do. i gave him 20 cents last time i saw him eatin shit on the streets), but i work in microsoft, and occasionally when i get bored i come here and pwn ignorant noobs.

Wow. Anybody want to learn Chinese? Check it out: www.mandarintoplist.com

You guys are obviously way too cool for school.

@5556667778888wowicancount first.let me point out that wat kind of mutant fukhead actually has hair on their actual balls? are u fucken lost? by sayin that its evident u r a fat slut who knows nothing about anything. go back to the biology class and suck ur mum.

@Jackanator: You wanted to have Mr. Wong's baby? Ohohoh shit. Two things jackanator; either you're having fun with the games, or not. If you're not having fun, then that's because you suck ass. If you ARE having fun, then you fall into one of the 3 categories that you told us that is 1) lil kids in puberty, 2) hot chicks, and 3) no-skill noobs. I totally doubt you're a hot chick, so it's either you're a lil kid with no hair on your balls, or a weak ass noob flapping his wannabe-ownage lips around. So just shut up. Wannabe.