

|
What's funnier than Homer Simpson getting hit in the face with a shovel? A real person getting hit with a shovel, of course. Creators of internet videos realize this, and in the last few years we've seen the rise of the staged viral video, regular people faking some spontaneous bit of hilarity to make sure grandmas everywhere will be emailing the link for years. Well at Cracked, the truth still matters. Today we're taking a stand and saying, "Fuck you, Grandma. That shit was staged." So read on at your own risk, because some of you are about to find out there's no Santa Claus. #7.
Pauly Shore Punched Out On Stage
Behold as Pauly Shore, now working the stand-up comedy circuit in Texas so he doesn't have to live in his car, badgers a redneck heckler. The man takes the stage, punches Shore right in his annoying face, and a viral sensation is born:
This clip showed up in November of '06, got linked on Defamer and then hosted on every site in the world capable of hosting video. Across those sites the clip saw at least two million views and more than a thousand user comments. Fierce online debates raged as observers were forced to side with the violent hick or The Weasel, which is like being forced to pick whether you want to be stabbed in the left testicle or the right. Sample comments:
"lol. sweet justice" "Gee Pauly what did you expect in Wacko, Texas? It's where men are men and the sheep are nervous. These people have sex with barn yard animals and think that it is OK. Pauly, truly your movies mostly suck big time except Encino Man, which was pretty funny, thanks mainly to Brandon Frazier."
The Evidence:
The fact that no charges were filed was also meaningless, since many legal experts say beating Pauly Shore is not technically a crime. The cynics among us were undeterred. The fact that this video turned up barely a week after the Michael Richards racist fiasco made us wonder if a publicity-starved Shore wasn't playing the internet like the Machiavellian genius he so clearly is. Sure enough, a couple of weeks after the video made its way around the net, TMZ.com called the cops in Odessa and asked them about it. They confirmed the whole thing had been set up. Finally, in January Pauly Shore himself uploaded a video with the behind-the-scenes rehearsal of the incident:
The trouble is that as of this writing, that video had only been viewed about 75,000 times, a tiny fraction of the people who enjoyed the original punch. Once again mankind rejects reality to cling to a happier fantasy. #6.
Counter-Strike Cheater Gets His Computer Smashed
What happens when you attend a massive Counter-Strike LAN party and use your hacking skills to cheat everybody? They smash your freakin' computer, that's what!
It's amazing how popular this video got, considering it emerged in a pre-YouTube era when a one-minute video could take 15 minutes to trickle down a spotty dial-up connection. Six years after it appeared, it's still making the rounds (that copy on YouTube up there is fairly recent, and still has half a million views and a thousand comments). For you aspiring staged viral video makers, the lesson is clear: If you want traffic, try recording yourself performing some kind of unjust destruction of valuable property. Sample comments:
"lol i hate cheaters.. but thats too evil. poor guy." "This was Real: I was at that LAN party.. The kid was warned twice, The LAN was in Alabama. I was one of the people that where admin'ing the servers at that party. This video was recorded 7-27-99 I know the guy that recorded the video.. When this guys machine was unplugged.. it was anything but done properly. We YANKED! The SVGA just about pulled out the video card. OWNT."
The Evidence:
In this case the person doesn't explain why manufacturers of the cheater's PC seemed to have forgotten to actually fasten the parts together in any way, causing the machine to spill apart on impact. Or, perhaps the more relevant question is in what part of the country is destroying $2,000 worth of personal property not a fairly serious crime. The story is that back in 2001, a group called LANtrocity (organizers of these huge LAN parties out in Los Angeles) announced a humongous gaming get-together coming the next spring (that's the "Million Man Lan" link at the end of the video up there). They released this little video to promote it, which was shot at one of their Counter-Strike tournaments in October of 2001 using an old computer case with some unused video cards and RAM sticks tossed inside.
This video has been a curse on the organizers of the Million Man Lan events ever since, as six years later people still turn up on their forums every couple of weeks and ask why they destroyed that poor man's computer. These days, asking that question may get you yet another patient explanation or simply a collective groan of dread from the regulars. What is interesting is the recurrence of the "Hey I saw the video and totally agree with what you did" commenters. Look, we don't want to reinforce a stereotype here, but when you find yourself so into gaming that you think cheaters should be taken in back to have their fingers crushed with a ball-peen hammer Casino-style, it's probably time to turn off the computer. Stand up, stretch, open the curtains. There's a whole world out there, son. #5.
Waitress Crashes Through Window
A waitress is straightening up after hours, when she trips over a stool and goes crashing wackily through a window, at best suffering lacerations and bruises, at worst plummeting 30 stories to her splattering death.
Her stumble and subsequent horrible suffering was good for nearly a million views and more than a thousand comments across various sites. The clip was featured on The Fox News Blast, their mash-up of shocking videos. "This video may be a fake," says the anchor. "But we hope not!" Yes, friends, Fox News Inc. would much prefer that a real lady be in a hospital bed with stitches in her face and her jaw wired shut, than to think it was simply a stunt. That's journalism right there, ladies and gentlemen. Sample comments:
"HAHAH AH AHA HA H A : thats what she gets for being a stupid white bitch"
"If that were my restaurant I'd deduct the cost of the window from her paycheck."
"Geez. Sickening how some of you people 'cant
stop laughing'. Your complete insensitivity
to human suffering puts you on an intersect path
with the litany of psycho doofuses who
'snap' and go shoot up a mall or school."
"that was my cousin. its real, the window hadnt been replaced since 1947 thats why it sucked"
"OWNED! KATEY'S GOT SOME BIG ASS TITIES!"
The Evidence:
We were afraid we would never know. After all, the Fox News Blast guys couldn't even track it down, and were forced to throw up their hands and simply hope that the woman bled as much as possible. If the full investigative power of the Rupert Murdoch empire could not uncover its origins, what hope did we have? Oh, wait. Three minutes of Google searching turns up the clip in its original form:
The moment the "Stools causing you pain?" slogan appears you realize this was originally just a commercial (for DulcoEase, a turd-softening agent). The whole stool thing admittedly is a stretch, but advertising this product isn't exactly the easiest job (you can't just show a guy straining on a toilet in a cold sweat, face beet-red, screaming "OH GOD I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN DULCOEASE YOU COULD BUILD A FUCKING BRICK SCHOOLHOUSE WITH MY SHITS"). So, while the thought of some lady hurdling herself through a plate glass window for the sake of a viral video would have been sad, it's actually even sadder that some dude spent 30 seconds hacking the end off a commercial and passed it off as real. But, hey, it fooled Fox News. |
5 Plot Devices That Make Good Video Games Suck
Evolution of Nintendo's Controllers: Simple to WTF and Back
Hi there!I just wanted to point out that one of the sites you link to in the article about the french teacher (terre et peuple) is not exactly known to be a reliable news outlet, meaning, terre et peuple is a neo-nazi organisation.
I was hoping they's list BME Pain Olympics. I don't want to believe it's real. Squick!!!
The fact that all these videos have such involved climaxes makes them fake.
onscuritee, how is the letoy jenkins one racist, leroy and jenkins started out as old white southerner name , look up hillbillies name leroy, and the "at least i got chicken" part, the back story was he had just cooked some chicken thats why he what his guild was saying
"I wonder why you misinformed people keep saying it is a fake. The sad story is, things like this aren't that uncommon outside the United States, you should open up your provincial minds and learn that United States =/= The Rest of the World." What a f*****g idiot. Cause of of course, everything that is not the US is just populated by savages. You f*****g americans just HAVE to ride in on a white horse and save us all from our barbaric ways. Do not worry, we shall receive like the superior lords you are. With shotguns.
The "Leroy Jenkins" video is kinda racist. They used a stereotypical name and at the end of the video, you can hear the guy say "Well at least I still have chicken." Other than that bit of asshatery, this is a pretty entertaining list.
2 girls 1 cup should be u[p there. The distributor was harangued on obscenity charges and had to prove to the courts that it was all faked.
i agree the teacher one is fake, but if someone starts to swing an arm to hurt you, you are going to try to jump out of the way, not just sitting there like a dumbass and let yourself be hit
you can tell the window one is fake, after she falls look right above the bottom of window and you can see her
Finally, people agree with me that the angry german kid is fake.
Why are spam comments not removed from these articles? zhaochuan, beavis1989, biggirl4love, and the rest of them, can eat a big steamy turd, courtesy of Cracked's legitimate fans
Hey!!Anyone Who Can Fool"Furked Snooze"Has My Vote!!
The Rednecks and Yuppies Would Make a Good Movie!!Owen Wilson and Jennifer Anniston as The Yuppies and Larry the Cable Guy and Kevin Federline as The Rednecks!!
To Frankenslut, *ahem* excuse me but I believe this article is in the TECH section, so vague internet references would only, you know, make sense to be put in this area. If you want articles for people who don't "play videogames all day long" (which I don't but yet I still know all these videos that obviously some people have heard of, quite frankly millions) then go check out a different category, it's not that difficult! Sheesh, i find my comment here to be almost as stupid/worthless as yours was... Almost.
If you speak German, it's pretty obvious the last one's a fake.
And yeah, Focus TV sucks balls. (Just like pretty much every other German TV show on private stations)
I'm disappointed the last one is fake.
I'm disappointed the last one is fact.
Not to mention that the way the kid was "playing," he wouldn't be killing anyone...
Heres the thing, This site seems to be directed at people that SPEND WAAAAYYY TOO MUCH TIME on the internet, Cracked asumes everybody is in their mid 20s, play video games all day long, knows all these vauge references refering to other sites noones ever heard of. Ive never seen any of these viral videos and when a vid comes into my box I usually skip it because the payoff is never worth the time or energy I spend watching it, JUST NOT INTERESTED! Cracked was funny in the 7os as a comic book.
The 5 Most Ridiculously Awful Computers Ever Made
The World of Tomorrow (If The Internet Disappeared Today)
The Men Who Stare At Goats: New Trailer
Curse of the Duck Hunt Dog
obscuritee213-Leroy Jenkins is actually the name of a white evangelist, who is fairly well known.