The Weirdest Lifetime Achievement Awards

Chewing a Cessna 150 over two years, Michel transformed gluttony into art and proved that digestive heroics deserve worldwide applause.

Kevin broke 46 wooden toilet seats with his head in a minute, proving absurd dedication can become performance art.

Ben Russell from Alaska won $2,500 in 2008 for his Nike sneakers, proving odoriferous footwear can achieve fame.

Analyzing and classifying cat purrs, chirps, and meows earned Schötz a Biology Ig Nobel for feline communication.

Struck by a meteorite while napping, Ann achieved cosmic notoriety and became a legend of singular, unreplicable luck. 

Jon Scieszka’s Cowboy and Octopus claimed the award for combining surreal stories and absurdly peculiar illustrations that defy logic.

Creating films so spectacularly terrible that they gained cult status, Ed turned cinematic failure into legendary absurdity that even aliens would admire.

Jonathan Littell earned this award for describing an orgasm like scraping a boiled egg with a spoon, painfully awkward prose.

David owns 137 traffic cones, covering two-thirds of all types ever made, proving that obsessive collecting knows no limits.

Living as a goat in the Alps, Thomas proved that fieldwork can be extreme, awkward, and painfully hilarious all at once.

Designing pink lawn flamingos, Don sprinkled suburban yards with permanent playfulness and proved plastic can be culturally immortal.

Teaching pigeons to critique abstract paintings, Shigeru earned acclaim for proving birds can be unreasonably judgmental critics.

Turning military forms into Kafka-level masterpieces, Sir Robert became a legend for making paperwork an absurdly epic art form.

Watching the same blockbuster hundreds of times, Ramiro transformed obsessive fandom into a Guinness-approved lifestyle that borders on religious.

Training pigeons to guide missiles sounds insane until you see Skinner’s genius in action, and history rewards audacity. 

Ashrita spent decades stacking records like a caffeinated squirrel on steroids, earning fame for absurd milestones no human should attempt. 

Studying belly-button lint like it held the universe’s secrets, Karl proved obsessively weird inquiry can be wonderfully serious.

Pastor Danny Nalliah won for blaming Victoria’s bushfires on abortion laws, earning infamous recognition for historical absurdity.

Inventing patents so useless that they made engineers weep, Gunnar achieved fame for being gloriously brilliant in a world of logic. 

Her scalding coffee lawsuit became legendary, earning Stella a spot in legal absurdity history and inspiring the satirical Stella Award.

Gorske inhaled thousands of Big Macs with such unwavering devotion that burger obsession became his superpower and cultural icon.