13 Bizarre Incidents That Aren't Crimes, But Probably Should Be

Creating a human/monkey hybrid embryo isn’t illegal, but by golly it should be!

Not to add to the long list of existing laws here, but with all the weird shit we bored primates like to conjure up, it’s easy to see how laws can stack up. Can you imagine being around for day one of the law? You were just living your best life as a new resident of “the wild west,” but one day the Sheriff pops by with a fat stack of papers, and he’s all like, “Here’s all the things you can’t do anymore.”

Your first reaction might be, “What the hell does the word “Sheriff” even mean?” Your second reaction might be, “Listen pal, I’ve been robbin’ and killin’ people my entire adult life, and now you’re tellin’ me I’ll have to sit in a cage like a little tweety bird for it?!” It would suck. But yeah, robbing and killing people isn’t good for civilization as a whole. We’re not lumping these 13 bizarre incidents in with those bad boys, but at some point, somebody should’ve stepped in with a law against them.

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What do you want, honey? Snickers, Doritos, or bear meat?

Reuters

“Dumping” is illegal, but does that count if it’s compostable?

KSAT

We don’t say this often, but grow up!

Nerdist

Another entry in the “Florida Man” chronicles

Daily Mail

Littering is illegal for everyone but Elon, we guess.

Deseret

Separating Triplets at Birth

WBUR

So it’s a mammoth of a meatball? Yes. And yes.

Reuters

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