‘South Park’ Fans Want Bill Clinton To Be Trump’s Mistress In Next Episode

Half the country thinks that the current president once went down on a past one, which should have Trey Parker and Matt Stone asking the question: when did Bill Clinton take Donald Trump to a musical?

The latest round of drip-fed releases from the FBI files on deceased pedophile and human trafficker Jeffrey Epstein included bombshell revelations about the allegedly close personal relationship between Epstein and two purportedly kinky presidents, leaving the American public in a state of hysteria. In private messages exchanged between Epstein and his brother Mark, the latter Epstein suggested that the late one should ask former White House chief strategist Steve Bannon “if Putin has the photos of Trump blowing Bubba.”

Given that “Bubba” is one of Clinton’s nicknames (along with "Almost the First Gentleman") many, many Americans have spent the days since the last batch of Epstein files speculating that, despite their political differences, Trump and Clinton may have had a special connection – one that would deeply upset Trump's life partner, Satan.

South Park fans already know that Trump is fucking Satan, and that, as of last week, he's also nailing J.D. Vance – but now we want to see what Trump and Clinton were up to at Epstein's Gentlemen's Club.

South Park fans haven't seen the show's depiction of President Clinton since the 2016 episode “Oh, Jeez,” in which Clinton and Bill Cosby attempted to recruit the kids of South Park Elementary for their gentlemen's club. Now, with the eyes of the world upon South Park's Trump and his biblically tiny penis, fans are anxious to find out whether Parker and Stone will give us their take on the single funniest sex scandal of Trump's already salacious political career.

Since his emails with his brother became public knowledge, the surviving Epstein has attempted to quell some speculation about his “Trump blowing Bubba” comment, claiming that the name “Bubba” was “not, in any way, a reference to former President Bill Clinton.” Epstein further insisted that this mysterious “Bubba” is “a private individual who is not a public figure" – though, hilariously, he never actually denied that Trump gave this “Bubba” head on camera.

Thus, South Park fans and the internet at large are still free to crack jokes about what may or may not have gone on between Trump and Clinton at Epstein's house, what photos of the act Russian President Vladimir Putin might possess and which Broadway musical they were watching when the whole thing went down.

Maybe The Lady in White?