14 Blistering Insults That Put A Celebrity in Their Place
The stars of Old Hollywood really knew how to land a zinger.
Azelea Banks to Grimes
Banks stayed at Elon Musk’s house to record with Grimes, and she later went public with some shady business she saw going down: While being investigated by the SEC, Musk was “scrounging for investors to cover his ass.” Grimes called Banks a “fat” “narc,” and Banks hit her with “You smell like a roll of nickels, you look like a little boy, you need an IV and a tan.”
Frank Sinatra to Shelley Winters (And Vice Versa)
Sinatra discovered alliteration while filming Meet Danny Wilson, calling Winters a “bowlegged bitch of a Brooklyn blonde.” Winters responded by calling him a “skinny, no-talent stupid Hoboken bastard,” and punched him for good measure.
Madonna on Lady Gaga
When Lady Gaga put out “Born This Way,” lots of people — Madonna included — were quick to compare it to her song “Express Yourself”: “I thought, what a wonderful way to redo my song. I mean, I recognized the chord changes. I thought it was… interesting.” She even played a mash-up of the two songs at a 2012 concert.
Marlon Brando on Montgomery Clift
Apparently referring to a food processor, Brando once said, “He acts like he’s got a Mixmaster up his ass and doesn’t want anyone to know it.”
Richard Burton on Marlon Brando
The deep-voiced actor said of Brando’s delivery: “Marlon has yet to learn to speak. Christ knows how often I’ve watched Marlon ruin his performance by under-articulation. He should have been born two generations before and acted in silent films.”
Nicki Minaj’s Mariah Carey Diss Track
The two had legendary beef while judging American Idol together, and Minaj reportedly wrote the lyrics “I’ll take it. Sign on the dotted line… But I’m quick to a check a bitch if she's out of line” about Carey. Humiliatingly, Barbara Walters asked Carey on The View, “Are you the bitch she’s singing about?” Carey flippantly responded, “Don’t know. I didn’t know she sang. I thought she rapped. Or whatever.”
Lauren Bacall on Tom Cruise
In response to his couch-jumping celebration of his engagement to Katie Holmes, the old school Hollywood star said, “When you talk about a great actor, you’re not talking about Tom Cruise. His whole behavior is so shocking. It’s inappropriate and vulgar and absolutely unacceptable to use your private life to sell anything commercially, but I think it’s kind of a sickness.”
Gwyneth and Martha’s Cake War
After Gwyneth Paltrow announced her “conscious uncoupling” from the guy from Coldplay in 2014, Martha Stewart chose to name a pie filling after the viral incident: the “Conscious Coupling,” explaining that “every Thanksgiving table should be blessed with the presence of a long-married pair who…” yadda yadda some nuclear family bullshit. Paltrow clapped back in an equally lame way, swiftly posting a recipe to Goop called the “Jailbird Cake.”
Katharine Hepburn to Barbara Walters
During an interview, Walters once pressed Hepburn on why she insists on wearing pants: “Do you ever wear a skirt, by the way?” Hepburn fired back: “I have one. I’ll wear it to your funeral.”
Dorothy Parker on Katharine Hepburn
Hepburn won four Best Actress Oscars, but Parker once said, “She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.”
Leave Shirley Temple Alone!
Katharine Hepburn said, “Acting is the most minor of gifts. After all, Shirley Temple could do it at the age of four.” Meanwhile, Louise Brookes called Temple “a swaggering, tough little slut.”
Nicki Minaj to Miley Cyrus
Minaj, upset that “Anaconda” wasn’t nominated for Video of the Year at the VMAs, lashed out at nameless fellow musicians. Miley Cyrus took the bait, saying in an interview that Minaj was trying to incite a “pop star against pop star war.” A few days later, Minaj used her Best Hip-Hop Video acceptance speech to retaliate: “Back to this bitch that had a lot to say about me the other day in the press. Miley, what’s good?”
Bette Davis on Joan Crawford
After Crawford, her longtime nemesis, passed away, Davis said, “You should never say bad things about the dead, only good. Joan Crawford is dead… good!”
Jenny McCarthy to Tara Reid (And Right Back at Her)
Reid abruptly ended a 2016 radio conversation with McCarthy when things got contentious, and they both erupted into sarcastically cordial atom bombs. McCarthy said, “I hope you stay married. I hope your knees get a little wobblier than they already are.” To which Reid replied, “I hope you stay married too. I’m sure he’s a nice guy. I hope your tits get even nicer, because they’re amazing.”
McCarthy, however, got in the final word: “Love you Tara. Good luck with Sharknado 18.”