Josh Johnson’s Best Jokes About the Cracker Barrel Logo Fiasco

The screeching, self-infantalizing, self-victimizing American right wing has won another cultural victory. After a week of nonstop complaining, the Cracker Barrel logo has been officially switched back to its original form with Uncle Herschel and the barrel (that is, the cracker and the barrel).

Before the change took place, we all had a bit of fun watching the meltdown. There were some pretty funny social media spirals about something ultimately that doesn't matter at all. That wasn’t the only fun to be had with the whole debacle either. Josh Johnson, the newest Daily Show host and king of producing weekly one-hour comedy specials, tackled the topic on his Tuesday special. 

“I didn’t know about the attack on culture that’s been happening this week,” Johnson said. “I didn’t realize how bad things are out here. I had no idea the impact of changing the Cracker Barrel logo. I didn’t know what this would do to people.”

In a smart set more broadly defining the ills that come with projecting a set of morals against billion-dollar corporations that don’t care if we all live or die as long as their earnings projections continue to trend upwards, Johnson narrowed his focus on the chaos of Cracker Barrel. 

“If you are sitting there wondering what Cracker Barrel is, you’ve lived a good life,” Johnson said to the audience. “If you’re sitting there wondering what Cracker Barrel is, you are doing perfectly fine.”

Here are some of Johnson’s best jokes about what has to be one of the absolutely dumbest stories in some time: 

• “They basically did the Washington football team to white people.”
• “The CEO said something to the effect of, ‘MAGA doesn’t have to eat here. We’ll respect their decision not to.’ I don’t know what the question was that led to that answer. I’mma throw it out there, and I could be wrong, but I do think they were the only ones eating there. That would be like the dude at the Red Hat Company being like, ‘We don’t need MAGA.’ Unless there’s a new baseball team, I think you might.”
• “There were people genuinely being like, ‘This is an erasure of American culture, and it’s an erasure of white culture, like white heritage and everything.’ I’ve been to a Cracker Barrel, and yes, it’s very white. But if you’re concerned with white heritage, Cracker Bell should be so low on that list.”
• “I’ve grown up around white people. I know white people my whole life, and very few have ever mentioned Cracker Barrel when it wasn’t at the next exit. Like I didn’t know it meant this much to white people. That’s ignorant of me. I’m sorry to be walking around in America of all places, not knowing how important this was to your heritage and culture.”
• “They know where to put the Cracker Barrel. You either eat now, or you wait 35 minutes until the saddest McDonald’s.” 

It’s kind of like everybody won. We get a bunch of pretty decent jokes from Johnson, and the right gets to be rewarded for their temper tantrum in the form of a restored Cracker Barrel logo. Maybe that’s the bipartisan future John McCain always dreamt about.