All the Ways ‘South Park’ Roasted Rob Schneider
Amazingly, Rob Schneider isn’t the titular character in “The Biggest Douche in the Universe,” the name of the South Park installment that prominently features the “You can do it!” comic. But that episode exposing TV psychics does feature several parodies of Schneider movies, each funnier than the last — at least to Cartman.
“Rob Schneider was an animal. Then he was a woman. And now, Rob Schneider is a stapler! And he’s about to find out being a stapler is harder than it looks. Rob Schneider is… The Stapler! Rated PG-13.”
“Rob Schneider is a Wall Street executive with everything going for him. Only problem is, he’s about to become a carrot. It’s 24-carat comedy. Rob Schneider is… A Carrot. Rated PG-13.”
“Rob Schneider derp dee derp. Derpy dee derpity derpy derp. Until one day, a derpa derpa derpa derp. From the creators of Der and Tum Ta Tittaly Tum Ta Too, Rob Schneider is Da Derp Dee Derp Da Teetley Derpee Derpee Dumb. Rated PG-13.”
Schneider figures into the plot of the episode as well, eating a pot roast that contains the soul of Kenny. That inspires another movie trailer:
“Rob Schneider is a somewhat popular comedic actor who seemed to have it all. Until one day, he came across a pot roast and his life changed forever. Now he’s sharing his body with an eight-year-old boy. And he’s about to find out that being eight ain’t so great. Rob Schneider is… Kenny. Rated PG-13.”
How did Schneider feel about getting impaled by a flagpole and other South Park indignities? “They could have been way meaner,” Schneider told Bill Maher in 2022 (and he wasn’t wrong). In fact, Schneider thought the episode was “very funny” and appeared flattered by the skewering. “It’s just one of those things — I’m in pop culture enough where people can go, well, that guy’s safe to go after.”
Maher wasn’t nearly as forgiving. He was still holding a grudge about a Playboy interview he’d read where either Matt Stone or Trey Parker said something like, “I don’t want to be in my 40s like Bill Maher and still going to the Playboy Mansion.”
Even though he's been known to insult celebrities himself, Maher admitted to having thin skin. “People should know that when you take gratuitous shots, people in show business are sensitive. We all are. I’m sure I’ve done it to people, but when you do it, they notice.”
Schneider admitted he was also a delicate flower, still mad about a joke on Family Guy by Maher’s self-proclaimed “boyfriend, Seth MacFarlane.”
In the episode, the Griffins are tied up together (don’t ask) and decide to make up a celebrity rumor while they wait for a rescue. “Hey, did you guys hear about Rob Schneider?” Peter asks. “Somebody told me he goes down to Home Depot and pays the migrant workers to go to his house and choke him while he masturbates in the shower.”
“I could buy that,” says Chris. “That sounds like something he’d do.”
Maher didn’t get the joke. “What does that even mean?”
“I don’t know!” complained Schneider. “But could you please ask Seth?”