Here Are Hank’s Funniest Lines in the ‘King of the Hill’ Revival

‘Obama Was Born in Hawaii, That’s Reason Enough Not to Vote for Him Without Making Stuff Up’

The Hill Family is back after a 15-year hiatus, and Hank has been saving up a stash of brand new “bwaaas” since he left for Saudi Arabia.

Despite the rocky start in the first episode from the Hulu revival season of King of the Hill, the return of Hank Hill and his family, friends and neighbors to the comedy zeitgeist was an absolute triumph of nostalgia reboot television, as the show wasted no time picking up where it left off — starting in the second episode. The distinctly folksy and light-handedly satirical sense of humor that made the original Fox series a massive hit is, thankfully, fully intact, and King of the Hill creators Mike Judge and Greg Daniels’ decision to age-up their cast of characters and see how Hank could relate to Arlen in 2025 as a recent retiree simultaneously makes the revival feel fresh and novel.

With an entire fruitful career of propane work now behind him and nothing but free time begging to be filled, Hank spent the first season of the Hulu revival looking for a sense of purpose in his golden years, settling on crafting a new batch of iconic and quotable lines that harken back to his earliest days of ass-kissing.

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Here are Hank’s absolute funniest quips and quotes in the new season of King of the Hill in ascending order of hilarity, starting with….

“Stay Down Boomhauer, I Know A Concussion When I See One, From Football, Obviously, But Also From Bobby’s Contact Improv Days”

“Where’s This Elevator Coming From? Hell?”

“He’s A Teenager! I Want to Spend My Retired Years With People Who Remember When Quarterbacks Stayed in the Pocket!”

“We’re So Close to Getting Through It Without Turning It Into One of Your Shows About Squabbling Housewives. This Isn’t New Jersey for Crying Out Loud!”

“I’m Gonna Hit the Little Boys’ Showers”

“The Rules Make It Fun”

“It’s Fine If This Ends in A Tie. Soccer Taught Me That That’s Okay”

“Dale Has An Active Imagination, He’s for Entertainment Purposes Only”

“They Kicked Balls at His Head, Peggy! The Disrespect for Authority Was Downright Un-American!”

“You Photoshopped My Wife’s Head on Some Buxom Trollop! Now I Have to Imagine You Looking at That and… Enjoying It!”

“If You Give Me A Rope and Make Me Eat Vegan Food, You Know What I’m Going to Use That Rope For”

“I Want the One That Was Assigned Meat at Birth”

“Obama Was Born in Hawaii, That’s Reason Enough Not to Vote for Him Without Making Stuff Up”

“What You’re Doing All the Time, It’s Natural, But It’s Setting Up Unrealistic Expectations. Most Repairmen Won’t Accept Payment in Anything Other Than Cash”

“Excuse Me, Do You Have Any Beer That Tastes Like Beer and Isn’t Trying Hard to Taste Like Something Else?”

“That Man Ain’t Right”

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