14 Celebrities Who Have Nicknames for Their Junk
Is Madonna the only person who gives her nethers the respect they deserve?
Jojo Siwa Named Her Boyfriend’s Danglers
Siwa came up with sexy, lovely names for her boyfriend’s balls because they’re very much in love: Chris Hughes explains that “she calls my balls Jimmy and Timmy. So she must like Jimmy and Timmy.” She must!
Channing Tatum Either Calls His Penis ‘Gilbert,’ or He’s Sick of Dumb Questions on the Internet
During a Reddit AMA, he was asked what he calls his penis. His one-word response was “Gilbert.”
Gary Busey Loves His Work (And So Does His Wife)
Busey played a role in the 1978 comedy/drama Big Wednesday, and decades later he revealed that’s also what he and his wife call his schlong.
The Beliebers Named Justin’s
A British radio host was trying to crowdsource some questions for an interview with Justin Bieber, and his fans kept insisting that he ask, “How’s Jerry?” He had to explain that they collectively named his junk “Jerry,” without any input from him whatsoever.
John Mayer’s Body Is a WonderKlan
He famously told Playboy, “My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.” One imagines his dating pool became much shallower after that.
Hugh Jackman: ‘Old James Roger’
It’s either a reference to an 18th-century Irish-born British soldier, an American investor, Tiana’s father from The Princess and the Frog or something far more Australian than we could possibly imagine.
Elvis Was More Modest Than You’d Expect
He was either being folksy, or legitimately didn’t know how to spell his own name: He called his dong “Little L.”
Jennifer Love-Hewitt’s ‘Precious Lady’
In the wake of a breakup, she gave herself an expensive vagazzling: “A friend of mine Swarovski crystalled my, um, precious lady… It shined like a disco ball… I haven’t had any complaints.”
Snooki Named Vinnie’s
After hooking up with Vinnie on Jersey Shore, Snooki referred to it as “Moby Dick.”
Madonna’s ‘Temple of Learning’
Madonna got appropriately poetic: “I love my pussy, it is the complete summation of my life. It’s the place where all the most painful things have happened. But it has given me indescribable pleasure. My pussy is the temple of learning.”
Michael Sheen Named His After a ‘The Good Wife’ Actress
While they were still together back in 2015, Sarah Silverman revealed that, “My boyfriend named his penis. He named it ‘The Great Christine Baranski.’”
Anthony Kiedis Wrote a Song About His, Obviously
In the early Chili Peppers song “Out in L.A.,” Kiedis sings “Antoine the Swan, from the pretty fish pond / Was a bad mother jumper, you could tell he was strong,” and goes on to describe how Antoine has sex with 99 women in one shot. The Swan in question is both a stand-in for Kiedis himself, and what he called his dick in friendly conversation at the time.
Rainn Wilson Has the Best Nickname (Maybe)
It’s hard to find the original source, because the gossip blogs all just link back and forth to each other recursively, but he reportedly calls his penis “The Fail Whale.”
Presidential Penii
Warren G. Harding named his in an illicit but well preserved love affair — in horny letters to his neighbor’s wife, he referred to his junk as “Jerry.” LBJ, meanwhile, would whip his out as a form of intimidation, and openly referred to it as “Jumbo.”