Trump Says Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon Are Next

Now that Donald Trump is done cackling with glee over the firing of Late Show host Stephen Colbert, he’s putting the rest of late-night in his crosshairs. He took to Truth Social this morning to let everyone know what’s in store: “The word is, and it’s a strong word at that, Jimmy Kimmel is NEXT to go in the untalented Late Night Sweepstakes and, shortly thereafter, Fallon will be gone. These are people with absolutely NO TALENT, who were paid Millions of Dollars for, in all cases, destroying what used to be GREAT television. It’s really good to see them go, and I hope I played a major part in it!”

The leader of the free world, ladies and gentlemen. Can we get the guy a subscription to Grammarly?

Even though Kimmel is on summer hiatus until Labor Day, he wasted little time in firing back. 

“I’m hearing you’re next,” Kimmel posted on Instagram, hinting at the letter Trump allegedly wrote to Jeffrey Epstein, as noted by The Wall Street Journal. “Or maybe it’s just another wonderful secret.”

While Kimmel was the only late-night host missing in action during the comedy protest that broke out at Colbert’s show last night, he and the family did join in from afar.

He and his grinning family posed on a boardwalk, with his kids holding up protest signs with messages like, “SAY NO 2 SPRAY-TAN MAN” and “I WISH WE HAD A BETTER PRESIDENT”  

Not surprisingly, eager-to-please Fallon has no such message on his social media feeds, content to post videos proclaiming it’s a Jorts summer. 

Fallon has to wonder how he got into this mess in the first place, considering he brought Trump onto his Tonight Show back during his first election run in 2015, tousling Trump’s hair in an adorable quasi-endorsement. Sometimes when you try to appease everybody, no one ends up on your side. 

The ignored Seth Meyers must be on after the President’s bedtime, but Meyers is probably throwing up his hands about now. “Hey, over here!” he is likely shouting at Trump’s picture. “I hate you too!”

What brought on Trump’s latest diatribe? A few probable reasons. First, it’s Tuesday. Second, Trump is no doubt feeling himself after everyone is crediting him (or at least, his administration’s role in a media company sale) for Colbert’s ouster. And third, he might have his dukes up after the de facto political rally last night in the Ed Sullivan Theater. Did anyone think he’d let Colbert’s cry of “Go fuck yourself!” go unanswered?

Trump’s White House cronies also got into the act, sending a statement to TMZ in response to last night’s Late Show ruckus. Colbert “is deeply unfunny and out of touch,” says spokesperson Taylor Rodgers. “Eighty million Americans love President Trump and are tired of ‘comedy’ shows hosted by griping losers like him. Maybe he will come to terms with reality with all his new-found free time!”

That should be the final word — until tonight’s round of monologues, anyway.