17 of the Funniest Tweets About Cocaine Being Found in the White House

The term “White House” got a whole new meaning last weekend. The Associated Press reported that during routine rounds of the presidential residence Sunday night, the Secret Service discovered a suspicious powder in a common area of the West Wing. Presumably assuming the white powder was anthrax, the complex was evacuated just before 9 p.m., as emergency crews were brought in to test the substance. Preliminary results identified that it was not in fact a hazardous material but rather a party material: cocaine. 

Anonymous officials stressed that the powder was found in a public-facing area and not in any particular office, likely in an attempt to rule out pointing fingers at any energetic vice presidents known for their constant state of uproarious laughter or other sitting officials and/or infamous presidential progeny. While the president himself was out of office with his family at Camp David for Fourth of July festivities, the Secret Service said that “the item was sent for further evaluation and an investigation into the cause and manner of how it entered the White House is pending.”

While we patiently await the results of the investigation, Twitter users naturally had their own thoughts on life, liberty and the pursuit of a little powder…