4 Bizarre Choices That Doomed 'The Amazing Spider-Man 2'

Two weeks in, it looks like The Amazing Spider-Man 2 won't simply be the lowest-grossing Spider-Man movie of all -- it will be even more critically detested than Spider-Man 3, a superhero movie about Toby Maguire saving New York by air-humping his way through a jazz dance solo.

A lot of the film's problems clearly stem from an abysmal script and the studio's presumption that fans would watch two hours of a blank screen as long as the words "Spider-Man" were in the title, but some of TASM2's decisions transcend the usual Hollywood apathy and border on intentional self-sabotage. Namely, the filmmakers apparently aspired to make the least rebooty reboot in reboot history.

#4. It's a Bizarre Homage to the Worst Batman Movie

After that Technicolor shart that was director Joel Schumacher's Batman & Robin, every production office in the greater Los Angeles metro area framed a photo of George Clooney's bat-dong and emblazoned it with the caption "NEVER AGAIN." But instead of veering away from Batman & Robin's example -- which, oh, every superhero film has done for the past 17 years -- The Amazing Spider-Man 2 apparently celebrated it, namely the turd's villainous trio. How else do you explain these two green, venom-infused masterminds?

Columbia Pictures, Warner Bros.

Or this duo of easily manipulated bald pun factories/steroidal smurfs who gained elemental powers in accidents involving their own scientific research?

Columbia Pictures, Warner Bros.

And finally, how about these two jibberish-yelling strongmen who were empowered through further bullshit science, appeared for maybe 10 minutes, and did essentially nothing to advance the narrative whatsoever?

Columbia Pictures, Warner Bros.
The six photos above contained three Academy Award acting nominees/winners.

#3. The Costume Design Stepped Backward

In the original 1960s Spider-Man comic books, the Green Goblin was an insane industrialist who dressed in a latex grinning pervert suit. You can give Sam Raimi at least a modicum of credit for attempting to remain faithful to the Goblin's original look, but the final product looked like an S&M Power Ranger. Twelve years later, The Amazing Spider-Man 2's Goblin isn't all that different from Raimi's and can generously be described as "a bionic Evil Ed from the 1980s vampire flick Fright Night."

Columbia Pictures
"Nailed it!"

But the film's concept art didn't necessarily have the Green Goblin resembling a guy with a weird rash who fell into a bathtub full of L.A. Looks. Concept art for the villain showed him looking more like a proper monster than a tweaker. Turning him into a mutated abomination wouldn't have been an entirely crazy idea, as there's precedent for such in the comics and shit, and the bad guy in the first movie was a giant lizard who did CrossFit.

Columbia Pictures
These were done back when Thom Yorke was still up for the role.

And what about that charmingly homemade costume Andrew Garfield jury-rigged together? That got scrapped for one straight out of the Raimi films in the name of making it more "Spider-Man-y," whatever that means. If the Chris Nolan Batman flicks had embraced this fashion sensibility, Christian Bale would've fought Heath Ledger's Joker with a screamingly tumescent codpiece.

He's bowing his head in shame.

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