Amazing New MIT Robot Can Make Faces, Point At Stuff and Make Me Yawn: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
MIT's Nexi MDS Robot
So apparently they've come up with a new kind of robot over at MIT. They're called "MDS" robots, which stands for mobile, dexterous and social. According to the project's website, the robots are meant "to support research and education goals in human-robot interaction, teaming, and social blah blah blah words words words."
Congratulations, MIT: somehow you found a way to make robots boring.
Here's what the so-called "geniuses" over at MIT completely forgot: designing robots that attempt to act like humans is LAME. What the hell happened? Did I go to sleep last night and wake up in a shitty mid-90s anime flick? Am I supposed to be dazzled because some robot can make a few facial expressions and point at stuff? I make facial expressions and point at stuff all the time, but you don't see me bragging about it on YouTube, do you?
If you're reading this, MIT guys, let me give you some advice. I bet you never thought that one day you'd be taking advice from a blogger on Cracked.com, huh? I never thought I'd be giving you guys advice either, and yet here we are. Crazy world.
The way I see it, MIT guys, there's no point in trying to make robots that do stuff that humans do (like making facial expressions and pointing at stuff). Instead of that, why not try to make robots that do stuff that human beings CAN'T do? Since it's so difficult for you guys to actually come up with good ideas, I've done you a favor and made a list. Wake me up when you make a robot that can:
Okay, I'll admit it: those would all be pretty shitty robots. I guess that's why I don't go to MIT.
Nice article, it very instructive for me. I need some time to think about this
Reply[...] been banging this drum for a while now, but maybe if I keep at it I can get the robot-making community to listen. If I [...]
Replylol/ She is really sexy!!! I have ever seen her hot video with hot bikini at RichMatchMaki ng.c om...... which is a niche dating site for all 18+ singls. Love her!!!
ReplyFail. Epic f**king fail.
Unless that website is more f**ked up than I'm giving you credit for.
Apparently Rachel Ray is easy, too. Since she had a few publically reported trysts. So we all might be able to tap Food Network chick's ass. I should point out, though, that Giada has massive tits.
ReplyPeople here hate Rachel Ray too? If we could start a prowrestling, comicbook, and videogame discussion I would only go to this website.
ReplyFuck Rachel Fucking Ray, she made spam, out of a fucking, goddamn, motherfucking, ham.. She spend money, on a spiral cut, honey glazed ham, and PUT IT IN A FOOD PROCESSOR!! and mixed bunches of shit in it, and then, and then, served it on crackers. Fuck her, she made $45 spam. I would nail her though, and then when i was done, i would put her in a food processor and feed her to a Canadian. (its only has a capital "c" because i am on Firefox, i don't consider people from the north deserving of it to be honest)
Reply[...] If you enjoyed that, check out David Wong’s rundown of The 9 Most Badass Bible Verses. Then, enjoy our in-depth critique of the Church of Scientology (a critique which, it should be noted, uses more dildos than most). Or, head over to the blog for some adorable robot heckling with Ross Wolinsky. [...]
ReplyHey, Stiles, we have the internet in other countries too now. It's very exciting.
ReplySo, that first thing on the list...Hitchhiker's Guide anyone?
ReplySo it can let you physically know it wants your booty in a nonchalant way.
ReplyWhy does a robot need to blink?
ReplyI think it's pretty well established that we, the Cracked readers as representatives of America at large, don't like robots that aren't (A) able to facilitate our rampant laziness, (B)sexy as all hell and (C) able to kill celebrities we dislike. Back to the drawing board, MIT, the future demands it!
Reply-create robot to kill Hannah Montanah. I'm already convinced she's a terminator from the future sent to destroy us all so that might be a tough one. I'd recommend a exoskeleton that can withstand nuclear blasts and an array of assorted armor piercing weapons weapons.
ReplyA Rachel Ray robot that you can have sex with and it screams “Yum-O” while you do , man I would pay Davy Crockett money for that.
ReplyThis is the most erotic cracked blog video yet.
ReplyWait, is this Rachel Ray person a robot? What's going on with this blog? I'm lost!
ReplyOh, I'd like to spend a long weekend banging Rachel Ray like a gong, but can you imagine waking up next to her every day for the rest of your life? That perky attitude would grow old very quickly.
ReplyDo you really want somebody who would probably exclaim, "Yum-O" (a word that should not exist) after every orgasm? Wait don't answer that. I do have a robot that can figure out how much everybody owes in a restaurant, it is a calculator Office Max gave me on their grand opening.
ReplyI ain't after Rachel Ray for her mother fucking cooking. I can cook. I just want to fuck the dogshit out of her.
ReplyRachel Ray is hot, but she's ruined cooking. If I go to visit my parents 9 times out of 10 whatever dinner is contains fucking "lemon zest." Yes, it has fucking lemon rind ground right over top... yum for lemony goodness....
ReplyMom: "Hey, I made your favorite!
Me: "Really?! AWESOME" *takes bite* What is that taste?
Mom: "Oh it's lemon zest. Rachel Ray makes it that way"
Me: *puts down fork* Oh...
Fuck you, Rachel Ray.