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Amazing New MIT Robot Can Make Faces, Point At Stuff and Make Me Yawn: The Daily Nooner (EST)!

MIT's Nexi MDS Robot

So apparently they've come up with a new kind of robot over at MIT. They're called "MDS" robots, which stands for mobile, dexterous and social. According to the project's website, the robots are meant "to support research and education goals in human-robot interaction, teaming, and social blah blah blah words words words."

Congratulations, MIT: somehow you found a way to make robots boring.

Here's what the so-called "geniuses" over at MIT completely forgot: designing robots that attempt to act like humans is LAME. What the hell happened? Did I go to sleep last night and wake up in a shitty mid-90s anime flick? Am I supposed to be dazzled because some robot can make a few facial expressions and point at stuff? I make facial expressions and point at stuff all the time, but you don't see me bragging about it on YouTube, do you?

If you're reading this, MIT guys, let me give you some advice. I bet you never thought that one day you'd be taking advice from a blogger on Cracked.com, huh? I never thought I'd be giving you guys advice either, and yet here we are. Crazy world.

The way I see it, MIT guys, there's no point in trying to make robots that do stuff that humans do (like making facial expressions and pointing at stuff). Instead of that, why not try to make robots that do stuff that human beings CAN'T do? Since it's so difficult for you guys to actually come up with good ideas, I've done you a favor and made a list. Wake me up when you make a robot that can:

  • Figure out how much everyone owes on a restaurant bill with more than 4 people
  • Successfully operate a self-checkout machine at a grocery store
  • Definitively end the argument over whether cats or dogs are "better"
  • Explain how the stock market works... to me
  • Fly (although I guess that would just be an airplane)
  • Kill Rachel Ray
  • Okay, I'll admit it: those would all be pretty shitty robots. I guess that's why I don't go to MIT.

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