Cracked Columnists

2 New Shirts for Batman Fans and Moon Landing Conspiracists

At Cracked, we like to dole out neat, fascinating little facts, but more importantly, we want all of you to think critically about everything and never accept anything at face value. We want you to notice when newspapers are full of crap, when statistics can't be trusted, and when a huge sham organization like NASA works in association with the Illuminati to perpetrate one of the biggest ruses of the 20th century. There are more holes in the story of the moon landing than there are in a wheel of Swiss cheese, which incidentally is what the moon is really made of and why we can't land there with a fiery rocket, because ... melting. It's a goddamn travesty that so many sheeple have been taken for a ride by the American government and a fancy Hollywood soundstage, but we aren't giving up, and that's why we've included this completely undoctored T-shirt in our store for you to purchase, and wear, and help spread awareness. Open your eyes, everyone, you've been lied to.

Oh, Also This Other Rad Shirt

Regardless of where you work, there will always be a few unwavering truths that hold for every company in America: The birthday cake will always be terrible, a relationship will be ruined at an office holiday party, and someone in the company will try to organize a corporate softball team every spring. Knowing these absolutes, it's comforting to think that the employees in fictional corporations have to deal with the same bullshit. Don't think for one second that just because we didn't see it in the trilogy, Gotham City's greatest corporation didn't field a mediocre squad of fading athletes.

Be sure to get this design by Jaime Kuroiwa in black and in gray for home and away games, because we aren't going to pretend we know your favorite version of Batman. But we drew the line at including nipples. Sorry, Schumacher fans.

The Ideas Machine Never Stops

We run a lot of T-shirt contests in our forums, and our most recent one (specific to appropriated famous logos) just ended. So here's what you should do: Come up with the best T-shirt idea in the world. There's no deadline. There's no prompt. There's no limit to your creative powers. Just make sure to submit it to this forum thread when it's ready. If we like it enough we'll pay you $500 and make your idea a reality. If not, you got in some practice for our next contest and got that "Green Lantern But Like He's an Actual Lantern" idea out of your system.

Our Weekly Dose of Envy

If there's one thing that can't be faked, it's the constant hustle of Internet T-shirt makers. Every week we trawl the Nets for new designs to admire/resent and bring the five best ones together in this space for your purchasing pleasure. It benefits us in no conceivable way. You're welcome.

5)


Available at Shirt.Woot

4)


Available at SnorgTees

3)


Available at Society6

2)


Available at FiveFingerTees

1)


Available at TShirtLaundry

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Alex Schmidt

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