Thanks to the Marvel Cinematic Universe (and despite the DC Extended Universe), superheroes have become so mainstream that there are those who consider themselves comic fans who've never so much as cracked the pages of the source material. Considering that fact, we thought it might be fun to take some of the most inexplicably shithouse crazy panels from comic book history and try to make sense of them through the eyes of someone who's completely unfamiliar with the context.
It turns out, you can't. You can't do it. Want proof?
10This Motherfucker Has Babies For Hands
"... I really should have taken that shit first."
To say that Master Pandemonium is sort of a weird supervillain is like saying a live hedgehog is sort of a bad form of birth control. How does having baby arms -- not baby arms as in Deadpool growing back his missing hand, mind you, but baby arms as in actual babies for arms -- make him "unbeatable" as he claims above? What's his signature move, smacking you with a red-headed stepchild? Can he even feed himself, or does every hot dog he picks up from a street vendor hilariously disappear a la Bugs Bunny's carrot before it reaches his lips?
Of course, it's possible that Monsieur Pandemonium was referring to an altogether different connotation of "unbeatable." After all, the man can't even soap up his taint in the shower without facing 25-to-life and a yearly check-in with the sex offender registry.
Sure, we could explain in depth the backstory there, try to put it into some sort of context. We just choose not to. That would ruin it.
9Fifty Shades Of Red And Blue
"CALL ME, MARTHA!"
This one doesn't strike us as all that odd, to be honest. Because who hasn't had that recurring nightmare in which their father grows to gargantuan size and deals them a swift, hurts-so-good kind of spanking?
What? No? It's only us?
Anyway, moving right along: This Superman panel is completely fucked up and not at all like anything we've ever experienced. But despite what it may look like -- namely, that Jor-El has scarfed Alice's "EAT ME" cake and is spanking Supes with a hand bigger than he is -- this is not a nightmare. Nope, Superman is absolutely enjoying the hell out of that shit. Just look at his word bubble: "Punish me, Daddy! I deserve it." It would appear Big Blue has needs that Lois Lane ain't quite fulfilling, if you catch our drift.
Little did he know there was someone conveniently close by who could've enthusiastically helped him out with that ...