We can understand artists being willing to die for their art -- as long as said art has over 90 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. If Alfred Hitchcock wants to throw live birds at your face or Sergio Leone tells you to put your head next to a train track, you can at least rest assured that your death will be studied by film nerds centuries from now. But it takes real commitment to your craft to risk your neck for something that will be filling bargain bins in a few years.
Here are five famous actors who almost died so that you could have something to half pay attention to on Netflix when you're bored:
5Jason Statham Almost Died In A Submerged Truck In The Expendables 3
Jason Statham is known for playing "deliciously surly" tough guys in the movies, but from what we can gather, the man is actually much more of a real-life, punk-stomping badass than just about any of his peers in the over-the-top action movie business. Not coincidentally, he's also the Expendables 3 cast member who was closest to death during the shooting of that movie, which is ironic considering he's one of the youngest ones (at the tender age of 48). We're talking about the time he, while behind the wheel of a three-ton truck with faulty brakes, plunged off the set and into the Black Sea:
In keeping with the movie's motif, it was an old truck that probably
should have stopped working in 1993.
The vehicle was then "impaled" on something in the water, leading the crew to believe that they had just witnessed a death. However, as Sylvester Stallone calmly filmed the entire event with his cellphone (presumably considering what he was going to do with the 1/17th of the royalties his co-star would never get to spend), Statham was able to quickly extricate himself from the vehicle. And thanks to his professional-level diving ability, he was also able to make his way to the surface and survived a calamity that Stallone admitted would have killed a normal, non adamantium-boned man.
Forty-five seconds later the resulting abrasions coagulated into a tattoo
of a fiery demon making finger guns.
Reports claim that Statham's drop into the treacherous drink was 60 feet, which doesn't really seem to be the case when looking at the footage -- but let's not quibble over details. Let's just go ahead and rely on the testimony of another physically superior, not-to-be-trifled-with human brick who was also present that day, and simply take Terry Crews at his word when he says: "Let me tell you something: Jason Statham is a true bad, bad dude."
4 Isla Fisher Nearly Drowned In A Tank In Now You See Me
Now You See Me, the star-studded, Ocean's Eleven-meets-Doug Henning's World Of Magic Jesse Eisenberg vehicle, rated a solid "mediocre" among critics. Still, perhaps the most gripping scene is the one where Isla Fisher, playing the role of an escape artist, has to Houdini her way out of a water tank before a school of ravenous piranhas are released to have their way with the parts of her that aren't covered by a bedazzled one-piece.
The difference was Houdini wore a two-piece.
When things appear to go wrong during the escape, Fisher looks downright terrified -- mainly because she was actually drowning. Fisher described her brush with a regrettably David Blaine-ish demise thusly: "My chain got stuck. I had to really swim to the bottom; I couldn't get up. Everyone thought I was acting fabulously. I was actually drowning. ... No one realized I was actually struggling."
"Oh look, craft services is here with the bagels. Take 5, everybody."
Despite all her flailing and pounding (possibly accompanied by repeated SOS distress calls sent via farts), she was reportedly underwater for a good three minutes before somebody realized she was about to make like a Beach Boys drummer and finally hit the quick-release safety button to empty out all the water. It was nice that they had the foresight to install one of those, but what they didn't think to include in the plan was a safe word. Or hand signal, rather. All the profanities she may have been screaming were probably only heard by the piranhas, and they were no help.
She's Australian, right? So why didn't she call forth a horde of spiders
to spell out "Wake up, dumbass"?