3The Wall of Tasers
There is one thing everyone can agree on when it comes to the controversial Taser -- it sucks to get hit by one. Carried by police around the world, the Taser fires a pair of tiny darts that prick the skin an instant before a powerful jolt of electricity makes all of your muscles stop working, ending the fight before it begins. So when the people at Taser wanted to upgrade their signature product for military applications, the solution was pretty much "Why not just glue a shitload of them together?"
The Insane Upgrade
"Boom. Done. Let's blow the rest of this year's R&D budget on liquor."
They call it the Shockwave because, well, that was really the only option. It shocks people in waves. Basically it's a bank of six Tasers that can be stacked together to form one solid wall of pain. If this seems like overkill for, say, arresting a couple of rowdy drunks, Taser reps say it's for the military to use as "perimeter control" -- something you can stash outside the area you don't want bad guys to approach that can drop a whole squad of them without killing them.
Or you can make one unlucky dude poop himself in, like, a second.
Oh, and you can also mount it on the front of a vehicle, in case you wanted to drive through a crowd, we guess, or Tase some people who are too slow getting across a crosswalk. Ah, who are we kidding? It's going to take some police force about five seconds to abuse this thing. It doesn't help that the company's demo video runs over a variation of the Terminator theme:
And while we're on the subject of non-lethal yet horrifying weapons ...
2The Non-Lethal Bullet That Attacks All the Senses
So, as we just mentioned, non-lethal weapons are kind of a Catch-22. Nobody likes the thought of little kids getting shocked/gassed/pain rayed because they got caught shoplifting a candy bar. But when these weapons are being used as an alternative to actual bullets, they're downright merciful. That's why the market for non-lethal weapons is exploding, and why they are in fact trying to find ways to make them safer.
"What if we added salt?"
Because all non-lethal weapons right now have their Achilles' heels: Plastic bullets can be fatal, Tasers can be dangerous and pepper sprays are only good when your target is too close for comfort.
Clearly the answer is to combine all of those into one thing.
The Insane Upgrade
It's a non-lethal bullet called ShockRound, which not only sounds like a particularly grating Indiana Jones sidekick, but also has the nerve-wrecking factor to match. The tiny little projectile manages to attack three of your five senses in one mind-numbing assault. First, it hits you much like an ordinary rubber bullet. Then, it opens and shoots compressed gas at you. While throwing a sonic boom at you. While blinding you.
Because there's no such thing as overkill with a non-lethal weapon.
Seriously. All that's missing is a boot-on-a-spring that shoots out and kicks you in the nuts, and chances are they're going to add that to the 2.0 version.
Said payload is a combination of compressed air and chemicals, custom designed to overwhelm the human senses in a way that totally takes your mind off fighting. In a fraction of an instant, it will create a dazzling flash to blind you, a loud woomph! noise to disorient your hearing and, of course, a mini-explosion of pressurized air that blasts your body with concussive force. This creates a sensation not unlike being shot with a beanbag and a stun grenade at the same time.
We smell a new successor to paintball!
But what if you enjoy being crowd controlled with super stun-bullets shot from realistic-looking sidearms, but prefer more exotic submission methods than mere sensory attacks? Not to worry -- the good people at SmartRound are working on many other types of "fuck you" bullets, which may include "irritant sprays," "expanding gels" and even "explosives."
Yes, bullets with irritant sprays and expanding gels. The future is here, ladies and gentlemen, you just need to start a riot to see it.