6 Fictional Villains Who Accidentally Saved the Day
Remember when we told you how in Star Wars, a single TIE fighter pilot saved the rebellion by colliding with Darth Vader before he could shoot down Luke? Turns out he wasn't the only remarkably inept bad guy who ended up doing the heroes a huge favor. For example ...
#6. RoboCop: Dick Jones Confesses to a Cyborg That Records Everything
The pivotal scene in RoboCop plays out like so: Through a combination of expert police work and being a robot, RoboCop tracks down the man who shot him earlier in the film. RoboCop finds out that the bad guy is working for Dick Jones, one of the top executives at OCP (the company that runs the police department). It turns out Jones ordered the assassination of fellow OCP executive Bob Morton as revenge for creating RoboCop and upstaging his own proposal for a technological law enforcer.
A "Robo-Bot."
The problem is that as soon as RoboCop goes to arrest Jones, his body starts shutting itself down:
"If I can only act with my mouth, then by gosh it's gonna be the best mouth acting anyone's ever seen."
Jones, instead of just having RoboCop hauled out to a dumpster, patiently explains to him that he added a secret directive to RoboCop's program that prevents him from acting against any member of OCP management. During his villain monologue, he also admits to having ordered Morton's death -- but there's absolutely nothing RoboCop can do about it because of his programming. Finally, Jones sends his giant robot and a bunch of SWATs to kill RoboCop, because he can.
Holy shit. No amount of RoboCopping can get him out of this one.
Look! He's still human after all.
But the Villain Saved the Day:
Look, we know that flamboyant movie villains like to explain their master plan to the trapped hero -- James Bond has heard more confessed sins than your average priest. But boasting of your plan to RoboCop is like confessing directly into a security camera. He's a machine that records everything he sees and hears -- his memory is admissible in court as evidence.
And his fist is a flash drive.
We know Jones should have been aware of this because a) he was familiar enough with RoboCop's programming to insert a new directive and b) RoboCop was actually playing an audio clip of the killer shouting "I WORK FOR DICK JONES!" as he walked toward Jones' office.
Perhaps Jones was under the impression that if RoboCop dies all the files inside him stop existing, like someone who throws away a laptop full of incriminating porn because the monitor is broken. Following that analogy, the scene when RoboCop plays Jones' confession in front of the entire OCP board would be like the moment when the computer's owner finds out that one of his personal videos has 3,000,000 hits on YouPorn. Hey, Dick -- even if RoboCop "died," somebody could have recovered his hard drive (or whatever he has in there) and copied the files off of it to nail your ass.
Explaining the secret directive to RoboCop turned out to be a monumentally stupid decision, too: This is something that RoboCop couldn't have known otherwise, because this particular directive never shows up in his Robovision (unlike the others). When Jones is exposed, RoboCop more or less tells everyone at the board that he can't touch him because he's an OCP employee -- and so the OCP president kindly fires Jones on the spot to allow RoboCop to deal with him however he sees fit.
John McClane is a goddamn plagiarist.
If Jones hadn't told RoboCop that he can't hurt OCP executives, Robo probably would have assumed that the directive forbid him from hurting Jones only, regardless of where he worked ... which actually would have made a lot more sense as a directive anyway.
#5. Return of the Jedi: Emperor Palpatine Sucks at Setting Traps
At the climax of Return of the Jedi, Luke learns that his friends have fallen into an elaborate trap: The Emperor intentionally leaked the plans of the new Death Star to the Rebels while making them think that it wasn't operational yet. As soon as all their forces are gathered at the same place, they find out that it totally was.
"Psych!"
As the Emperor put it, "Everything that has transpired has done so according to my design" -- yes, even meeting the damned Ewoks. The whole reason Han, Leia and the others went to Ewok-ville is that the Emperor secretly fed them the location to a shield generator supposedly protecting the Death Star, but that, too, was part of the trap.
In other words, the Rebels may think they're making some progress, but each victory just brings them closer to ultimate defeat. As they arrive at what they believe is their goal, they are essentially a woman tied up on the train tracks in front of an approaching train, only in this case the woman has tied herself there because she thought that's how you derail the train.
"If I had a mustache I'd be twirling it, but I am completely hairless."
But the Villain Saved the Day:
There's only one problem with that plan. As part of the trap, the Emperor makes the Rebels on Endor believe they're attacking the Death Star's shield generator. And as bait for said trap, he uses the actual shield generator. As a reminder, the Rebels have already blown up an unshielded Death Star before, and this one has a big-ass hole in the side. He knows it's completely vulnerable without those shields. It's like setting a mousetrap where the cheese is rigged to a bomb, and if the mouse doesn't eat it, you die.
They should have built a shield generator for the shield generator.
Sure, the Emperor had a bunch of Stormtroopers waiting to ambush the Rebels, but why even take that risk? Why not tell them the shield station was somewhere else? Like for example in any of the other eight nearby moons that don't have indispensable equipment in them, which they could've then blown to shit with the giant laser as soon as the Rebels landed.
OK, so telling them how to shut down the shield is one thing ... but did the Emperor also have to give them complete and accurate plans for the new Death Star? He could have easily fudged a few details, causing Lando to fly the Millennium Falcon into a wall.
"Well, GPS says to go right ahead, so ..."
When you think about it, the Ewoks did more to endanger the Rebel Alliance than the Emperor, since they delayed Luke's group getting to the shield generator with their off-putting hijinks, which could have been fatal to the fleets waiting for the shield to be taken down. That's right: The Ewoks are better villains than the Emperor.
As any Stormtrooper could have told you.
#4. The Lord of the Rings: Sauron Lets Gollum Go, for Some Reason
The Lord of the Rings trilogy is one huge underdog story; two semi-competent hobbits must destroy a powerful ring which, in the hands of the evil Sauron, could enslave all of Middle-earth. The only problem is that the ring can only be destroyed in the place where it was forged -- that is, an active volcano called "Mount Doom."
The other only problem is that Mount Doom is in a region called Mordor, and our awareness of tired Internet memes tells us that one does not simply waltz into Mordor, so two is out of the question. The other other only problem is that the only known entrance to Mordor looks like this:
Fuck.
And is protected by these guys:
Yo.
And these other guys:
Shit.
And these other ... things:
UP.
The hobbits somehow manage to reach Mordor, but what are they supposed to do now? If they are caught trying to sneak past the heavily guarded gate, the ring goes back to Sauron and everyone is screwed. And if they try to fight their way in, they risk getting trampled by a monster or, you know, anything else, because did we mention that these are just hobbits?
The only role in which a former child star can find success, because it reminds us of when they were small.
But the Villain Saved the Day:
The only reason that the hobbits were able to go into Mordor without fighting a million dudes was that they had the help of Gollum. And the reason they had that help was because Sauron let Gollum go.
Early in the first film, Gollum was dicking around Mordor one day when he was captured by Sauron and tortured for information about the ring, since Gollum himself was a previous owner. Gollum says, "The hobbits have it! One of them took it from me!"
"Shire! Baggins! He also called you a diiiiiiick!"
So Sauron knows everything he needs to know from this Gollum monster. So, now let's look at this from Sauron's perspective: His prisoner knows the hobbits, is obsessed with the ring and knows his way around Mordor. He has every piece of crucial information an opposing army would need if they were going to, say, try to destroy the ring or use it against Sauron. You'd think that would warrant being killed or at least thrown into a dungeon for all eternity -- and yet for some reason Sauron lets him go free.
"And now, kill the ... the ... there are some lady elves making out. What was I saying?"
Keep in mind that Sauron is a "kill first, don't ask questions later" kinda guy: He was a big fan of human sacrifice and, oh, the ultimate incarnation of evil. And yet he spares the insignificant life of a guy who knows enough about his plans to screw them, and who in fact does exactly that. Predictably, Gollum ends up showing the hobbits the alternate way into Mordor -- with ulterior motives, but still. He's also the one who unwittingly alerts the hobbits about Sauron in the first place, and the one who finally kills Sauron by dropping the ring into the volcano (along with himself).
It wouldn't be that hard to re-edit LOTR with Gollum as the real hero, because he already is.
Isn't the bad guy's defeat supposed to come (partially) at his own hand?
ReplyI guess it wouldn't really count because it spread over three movies, but for all intents and purposes, Khan saved Earth...
ReplyII - If Khan doesn't come back, Spock doesn't die
III - If Spock doesn't die, Kirk & Co. don't become Federation's Most Wanted and wind up in exile
IV - If Kirk & Co. don't wind up in exile, they're stuck on Earth when the whale probe hits and destroys the atmosphere, it's only because they're on the lam - which Khan set in motion - that they're unaffected and able to do something about it
Sauron doesn't actually die when the Ring is destroyed. What happened is that he put almost all of his power into it, and when it was destroyed, he lost that power forever and was reduced to a spirit so weak he can't do anything evil at all. That's also why Mordor got destroyed.
ReplyConcerning Robocop... you're assuming that hitting a laptop with a baseball bat enough times won't damage the hard drive...
ReplyWell yeah, but there's two things this assumes. First, that Jones had no other option and second that Robocop's hard drive would be as well protected as a laptop's. The problem with number one is there were other options, he had access to Robocop's brain, just shut his ass down and salvage the metal. Number two further assumes either insufficient protection and/or that it was a standard triple platter hard drive. Perhaps the funds that went into making vehicles newer than 1986 and flatscreen displays were spent on superior flash drives that are both small and redundant.
Most importantly there's the basic issue of confessing is ridiculous here. Not only is the thing he confessed to capable of literally total recall, the human part never met Bob Morton and had nothing to do with anything except the hole in his head. So at best he's confessing to a guy who wouldn't have necessarily been down with Morton's plan either, at worst a computer. Either way, it's not exactly Goldfinger confessing to Bond. I can actually imagine him later, had things worked out, saying to himself something like "I sure told that robot! Robots don't care, shit. But he was also a cop! A cop I never met. Who was brutally murdered for no reason by my nogoodnick friend and then forced into Morton's program. Double shit!"
(Please note, the arrogant tone is totally a joke, as is the case with all fiction, have it your way.)
I might be wrong about this, but didn't Gandalf mention that Gollum escaped from Saurons prison?
ReplyFrodo: He escaped the dungeons of Baradur?
Gandalf: Escaped? Or let loose?
Anyway, I think Sauron let the creature go because he assumed that if Golumn found the ring he could find Golumn a lot easier than he could find where ever the Elves hid it.
I assumed that Sauron let Gollum go because he would inevitably try to retrieve the ring from the peopl who are trying to destroy it, perhaps thinking that it would be easier to let Gollum find it and retrieve it from him than looking for some hobbit.
Reply Hide All See All 5 RepliesSeems to be the consensus amongst LOTR fans here. Which ignores the fact that Sauron didn't find Gollum when he had the ring and non of his inner monologue seemed to indicate a plan to return Sauron's ring either.
@Anynobody
He didn't need to think about it, the ring wanted to go back, and Gollum would have eventually caved in to the rings will...
Let's assume you're right, then why the didn't it make him take it back to Sauron when he had it before?
This is explain in the books. By Aragon or Gandalf; I can't remember which. Gollum was set free to hunt the Ring down, even though Sauron had no expectation of him returning with it. I forgot if he did this because he could somehow find Gollum later, or if, like Gandalf, he was simply moving more pieces on the board. Perhaps he thought that if Gollum found it, he'd hide away again, and the Ring would be safe until Sauron had conquered the world and could devote the proper attention to his trinkets of ultimate power.
Maybe.
I thought it had to do with Shelob. In the book, it is said that Sauron would often times send prisoners to Shelob to be eaten. I thought that the same is with Gollum. The reason Gollum gets away is because he already knows Shelob.
In Running Man, she insinuated pretty clearly that she hid the tape in her vagina, which is probably why they didn't find it. Still though, they should have checked to see if it was missing.
ReplySauron was not the ultimate incarnation of evil. He was just one of the lesser angels who was corrupted by Melkor, from whom evil flowed.
Reply Hide All See All 6 Replieswasn't he an elf before the whole corrupted evil thing? or not...
@grubman No, Suaron was a Maia (basically the same level as Gandalf in terms of immortal spirit power). The ultimate incarnation of evil is Morgoth, although he's mentioned only once or twice in the entire book, and never in the movies, so I could see how someone analysing the movies could make that mistake.
No Melkor was the ultimate incarnation of evil, not Morgoth. Morgoth was the head Balrog and in the movies, Sauron's Morgul general. Melkor created Sauron and Morgoth in the War of Wrath against the Valar and their soldiers. And once Melkor was locked into the Void, Sauron became known as the most evil thing that existed in Middle-Earth (or Arda in fact). And since LOTR is based in the 2nd and 3rd Age, and the 1st Ages ending (and 2nd Ages start) was at the end of the War of Wrath, LOTR recognized Sauron as the "big evil guy". Until Dagor Dagorath but I'm sure you guys don't care about that stuff.
Also @grubman, It is understandable somewhat that you might think this, as he disguised himself as an Elf for a few hundred years or so to trick everyone into helping him make and subsequently wear the Rings of Power.
Oh and no, mrcowbell, Morgoth is Melkor. I can't remember the exact translation but Morgoth means dark enemy or some such thing; a name the Eldar gave to Melkor. The Balrog you're thinking of is actually called Gothmog, who is not the Balrog found in Moria. Legolas calls him "the Balrog of Morgoth" because they were servants of Morgoth.
Alright, that's enough nerdy info from me today! I'm out!
Sorry I mixed up the 2 names (Morgoth/Gothmog). The one in Moria is named Durin's Bane after he slaughtered Durin, and all his comrades in Khazad-Dum. When I said Morgoth, I meant Gothmog who is the ultimate Balrog. He died a wimpy way though.
While the article was amusing, I have to say that a list of stupid or illogical things bad guys did to let the heroes foil them would include roughly 99% of all fictional movies, ever. I thought this was going to be about how Sauron united the warring factions of Middle Earth against a common foe and stopped the decline of civilization or something similar.
Replyi AM quaid.
ReplySauron let Gollum go so that he could bring the ring to him. And Maria Conchita Alonso hid the data file in her vagina. Or ass. We don't know exactly, but at one point Ahnold asks her where she hid the tape and she gives him a wink that says "some place you're going to be exploring REAL SOON big guy." Keep in mind this was 1987 when data was stored on floppy disks, leading a 12 year old me to wonder "Wait, you can fit a FLOPPY DISK up there?"
ReplyWhen my disk is floppy, I can never fit it up there...
Most of this article could be summed as " the bad guy wasnt using his/ her/ their brain(s)." I disagree with all as none of them should count as 'saving the day.' More like they just al deserve Gold Medals in Asshattery.
ReplyThe whole point of this list is just to remind us that evil villains are stupid. They might be brilliant at mundane bureaucracy (The Empire, Mordor, OCP = an endless nightmare of paperwork that they somehow make run smoothly) but when it comes to anything that isn't taught on an online MBA class from University of Phoenix they totally, hilariously suck. They have to. If they were successful at actually thinking outside the box then Luke, Samwise Gamgee and all the other sad, pathetic characters we're suppose to be rooting for would never stand a chance.
ReplyI have to agree with your insight captioned in the last segment. It would have to take something on the level of the Ark of the Covenant to destroy the Canadian army.
Reply Hide All See All 6 RepliesYeah, the Ark or, you know, 2 5th graders with BB guns.
^^ over kill no?
Well, the Canadian Army today is not the same one that fought the Germans. Both times that happened lots of German mothers got very sad telegrams.
Would this be the same Canadian Army that pissed their pants and surrendered at Dieppe? Yeah, I don't think the Ark is needed to defeat those losers.
Also the Canadian army that pretty much singlehandedly took Vimy Ridge. Dieppe happened because Louis Mountbatten, Earl of Burma decided as a nobleman he could not be wrong and ordered them into a massacre. But the lessons from that kind of... oh yeah. Made the D-Day landings a success. So you're welcome.
What would you know, Cromwell? You died in 1658!
Good article, but I think the point is missed with the whole LOTR stuff. Sauon was destined to undermine himself. The ring wants to be with its master, and Sauron released Gollum for this very reason. Without Gollum's release the ring would have been lost again. Destiny was a huge part of the storyline in that trilogy.
ReplyI just came to the comment section to read the million comments about Sauron letting Gollum go. I was satisfied.
ReplyThe Running Man is due for a remake. One that's actually faithful to the book.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesI agree so much. The book was really good. The movie was just sort of this random action thing that really had nothing to do with the book at all.
The one that really show where she hid the tape.
Never gonna happen considering the whole 'flying planes into buildings' is taboo in American media.
Sauron let gollum go as part of his plan to try and get the ring back, as gollum would either lead him to the ring or steal the ring for himself and then it would be a lot easier to get the ring from a single gollum than say an army of men. So yeah Sauron accidentally screwed himself by letting him go, but there was a reason for letting him go, and no one could predict that gollum would play the role that he did, not even Gandalf.
ReplyYou also have to remember that he did try and lure them into a trap to get killed by Shelob, it's just that it failed, so Sauron was right in assuming gollum would try and get the ring back for himself. Had the trap not failed, Sauron would've surely gotten the ring back from gollum and thus would've sealed Middle Earth's fate. Can't really fault Sauron too much on this decision imo, seems like another way to try and get dat dat dat ring back.
Uh... Total Recall was all in his head. It's the fantasy he paid for. Dr. Edgemar laid it all out halfway through the movie.
Reply Hide All See All 7 RepliesOr was it??
It's based on a Phil Dick's story. So don't f*****g try to interpret it or it'll blow your f*****g mind.
You're right elltee, but for the wrong reason. The tip off is twofold, he sees Melina on the screen at Rekall before he falls asleep the first time. The second part is everything happens just the way that salesman said: Important mission, deep cover, people trying to kill ya left and right, get the girl and save the planet.
erdosain, it's okay with this movie, but you're totally right about the books.
BWAAAAAAMMM!!!
I agree. The giveaway is that we see a photo showing a blue sky on Mars, before it "actually" happened in "reality". Actually the sky on Mars is quite often blue, but I don't think this was generally appreciated in 1990. For the sky to actually become blue after it was strongly hinted that it would become blue would seem to indicate that the whole thing was just an implanted fantasy.
erdosain... what story is that exactly? I have yet to see a good adaptation of a PK Dick story. Ostensibly, it is "We can remember it for you wholesale," but just go read that. I dare you. It has nothing to do with TRECALL. OK. So how about "Martian Timeslip?" Nope. I have no idea why Blade Runner and Total Recall acknowledge PK Dick's work, other than to throw money at his estate, which is the best reason I can think of, but these movies have little to do with Dick's work.
@seanbaby4evr As much as I hate Ben Affleck, Paycheck was pretty faithful to the story (as far as movies go). The whole lovestory was tacked on to increase sales, but that happens to almost every movie adaptation (sadly).
sauron let gollum go because he wanted gollum to lead him to the ring..it makes no sense, but it's a childrens book so it shouldn't make any sense in the first place
Reply Hide All See All 7 RepliesI'm pretty sure The Hobbit is the children's book, not Lord of the Rings.
Exactly. Letting Gollum go increases the chances of the Ring getting back to Mordor. Sauron's just covering all the bases.
Also, Sauron is unable to concieve the notion that someone might destroy the ring, because he assumes its power will almost instantly corrupt its owner. He reckoned without hobbits' ability to resist the lure of the ring.
In the end Sauron was nothing more than a fiery vagina hanging comically in-between a giant tuning fork somewhere up in the mountains of Mordor, like some pyrotechnic Dr. Frankenstein experiment. Besides from making guest appearances at Pink Floyd laser-shows, there wasn't a lot to Sauron that didn't involve flames and cheesy CGI effects, we're not talking about an actual corporal body here, so what is he going to do with a ring when he has no fingers? Keep it in a box next to his tuning fork-like towers?
@ SmileyMan> This. I believe that's actually stated outright in the series, that Sauron wouldn't even consider destroying it a possibility. Although, one wonders why a smart fellow like him wouldn't keep one of the Nazgul tucked away in the Cracks of Doom just in case. I could understand not wanting to draw attention to the mountain, but the Nazgul don't require any sort of support and are completely loyal.
Malacro.. yeah. Loyal to the RING. Sauron did the right thing. He wanted the ring. Gollum was a pathetic turd weakling that he could crush, not a rival. Gollum was also clever, ruthless, and had knowledge of the hobbits, Shelob, and the whole thing.
Sauron was distracted by Aragorn and other issues, but he played his cards right. Sauron was the New England Patriots and Frodo was Tim Tebow. Anything can happen, but it usually doesn't.
Sauron IS NOT a giant flaming eyeball, he has a corporal form.