5 Of the Most Badass Soldiers Ever (Happened to be Dogs)
Dogs were probably useful as hell on the battlefield way back when. In the days when wars were fought with swords and spears, a quick dog with sharp teeth was probably as effective as most infantrymen. But as heroic and generally badass as canines can be, there surely wasn't much use for them in war once guns and artillery became the norm.
Or so you'd think. Just don't say that to ...
#5. Rags the Terrier
Via Wikipedia
Some soldiers are just blessed with luck, regardless of species. A prime example of this is a mongrel terrier in WWI-era Paris.
The dog was literally stumbled upon by James Donovan, an AWOL American soldier. When Donovan was confronted by the Military Police about running away from his unit, he saw the little ball of fur as his ticket away from court martial. He bullshitted the way back into his unit with the excuse that he'd been hunting the dog all along ... because it was their mascot. Somewhere along the line he named the dog Rags, using the time honored method of "its name is what it looks like."
Via Dnbhistory.com
The soldier's nickname was "Ears McFlophat."
The bluff worked, largely thanks to the dog, who turned out to be friendliness incarnate and quickly won over the MPs and the commanding officer of Donovan's unit, who promptly made Rags' mascot status official. Rags enjoyed his new gig thoroughly and thanked his new human friends the only way a dog can -- with googly eyes, a wagging tail and impromptu face-licking attacks. Also, by saving everyone's lives on a daily basis and becoming one of the unit's greatest heroes.
The Heroism:
When Donovan was transferred to the frontline, he didn't want to risk Rags' life, so he left the little guy behind. The dog, however, wasn't having any of it, and tracked Donovan to the trenches. Realizing that the pup was good at finding his way around, Donovan adapted a secondary strategy: He taught Rags how to run messages between the command and the frontline.
Via Dnbhistory.com
"We'll just ... tuck this into your collar, shall we?"
Rags took his promotion incredibly well, regularly delivering important messages despite constant gunfire, explosions, distracting smells and other stuff custom made to lead a dog astray. He wasn't just doing his part, either -- he constantly watched and studied the things the soldiers around him did. When the men hit the dirt upon hearing a shell, Rags would mime their actions.
Then, one day, he started throwing himself to ground without any incoming noises at all. For a while, everyone around went "Awwww" and said "Look, he's trying to be human." Then, when the first explosions shook the trench, they quickly realized that dogs hear pretty well. Throughout his mimicking antics, Rags had been employing his Pavlovian powers. He now realized that the high-pitched incoming sounds equal explosions, and knew what to do. And so it came to be that the men of his unit soon found themselves imitating Rags.
Photos.com
They even replaced "Oh shit!" with a sort of yelping sound.
His new status as a lifesaver made Rags a celebrity. He capitalized on his fame by circling all the mess halls he could find, cashing in on his reputation for the finest wartime food available and never once returning to a hall if he felt he hadn't received a warm enough welcome there. His freewheeling antics were only limited after he got into a fight with Theodore Roosevelt Jr.'s cat, the survival of which was likely an achievement in itself.
In July of 1918, Rags was charged with delivering yet another important message. Rags was out in the open when the Germans launched a gas attack, catching him without his doggy gas mask. Undeterred, he took all that the Germans could hit him with, and delivered the message ... then passed away.
That is, passed away years later at the extremely respectable age of 20 (which is like 140 in dog years), as a happy, American family dog. He survived the shit out of war, and when old age finally took him, he was buried with full military honors and a gravestone that reads "War Hero."
Via Dnbhistory.com
They came this close to naming him King of Dogs.
The worst injury he ever took in life was a blind eye that resulted from being hit by a freaking car. Which we're pretty sure he ate immediately afterward.
#4. Judy the Pointer
Via Virginmedia.com
Judy was born in a Shanghai dog kennel in 1937 and presented to the British Royal Navy. She was assigned to the HMS Grasshopper for some good and proper naval life, which was cruelly interrupted by enemy torpedo fire and the ensuing sinking, increasingly wet feeling.
The crew barely managed to save themselves by making their way to an uninhabited island. They found Judy clinging to a piece of the broken ship, alive but exhausted. Despite the fact that they had little food and no water at all, they decided to nurse the dog back to health. This proved to be a good move, as Judy thanked her saviors by finding them a water source and saving the lives of every single survivor.
Via Petplanet.co.uk
"Fuck Marmaduke."
The refreshed soldiers attempted to reach an Allied-controlled area, only to be almost immediately taken prisoner. This was a crappy scenario for Judy, who the men managed to smuggle in the POW camp with them, as animals possess no wartime rights whatsoever. The camp provided everyone a whole lot of troubles of their own, so she was left to her own devices and would probably have perished ... if it wasn't for one Frank Williams.
Williams took a liking to the starving dog, shared his meager rations with her and looked after her. He also managed to get the enemy camp commandant to give her official POW status in order to protect her. We like to think that the officer took a long, hard look at Judy, who was nonchalantly eyeing the sky and doing her level best to whistle innocuously, and thought: "Eh, what's the worst that could happen?"
Spoiler: Judy. Judy was the worst that could happen.
Via Wikipedia
"Murdock ... I'm coming to get you."
The Heroism:
Judy went on to abuse the shit out of her new legal status. She saved the lives of numerous prisoners by actively attacking any and all guards attempting to deliver beatings. She nearly received retribution more than once, but each time Williams managed to talk the guards out of harming her. In exchange, Judy rarely left Williams' side, protecting him with all her might and warning him from impending danger, be it guards, snakes or scorpions.
When Williams was transferred to another camp, he smuggled Judy aboard the boat.
Which was promptly torpedoed and sank.
Via Daily Mail
"Sit back and relax, buddy. I got this."
But this time, Judy was ready. She swam back and forth among the wrecked ship, helping survivors reach pieces of wreckage to hang on to, just like she had done. When everyone was suitably rescued, she disappeared -- only to emerge in the new camp, just in time to tackle the flabbergasted Williams, who had also survived and just arrived there.
With the confidence gained from beating the sea once again, Judy became a veritable wild animal in the new camp. Aside from her usual guard-terrorizing antics, she hunted local fauna, teasing tigers and fighting alligators until the camp was liberated in 1945.
Via Webcitation.org
Here, she saves Williams from the lethal jaws of marriage.
Judy and Williams remained inseparable for the rest of her long life, indulging in various adventures -- and you can bet your ass that no wild animal bothered them, nor did any ship dare to sink on them ever again.
#3. Smoky the Yorkshire Terrier
Via William A. Wynne
Found hiding in a foxhole in the New Guinea jungle, and passing from GI to GI in exchange for petty cash, the 4-pound Yorkie named Smoky was the least plausible war dog imaginable. Yet, after finally finding a caring owner in corporal Bill Wynne, she spent 18 straight months in combat, eating combat food and living combat life while technically having all the crappy physical traits of the world's most vulnerable vanity pet.
Yet in the war-dog world, where anything under 50 pounds is considered a cat, Smoky survived better than all other animals, never once falling ill or succumbing to any of the problems that plagued other hounds.
Via Yorkieterrier.org
Besides occasionally getting lost inside combat helmets.
Smoky was mostly seen as a troop entertainer and a therapy dog thanks to her seemingly never-ending bag of tricks, ranging from basic upright walking to miniature parachute jumps. Yet she had already saved Wynne's life by warning him of incoming artillery fire when she saw her opening for even bigger heroics.
The Heroism:
When Japanese artillery fire cut a key communication line from Smoky's unit, a good 40 fighters and hundreds of men were left as sitting ducks. To get their lifesaving messages through, they'd have to undertake a grueling three-day operation of digging through a 70-foot pile of rubble, under the watchful eyes and hurtful bombs of the enemy. There was simply no way around it. The only other option would be to, hah, run the telephone lines through a 4-inch tunnel in the middle of the rubble, somehow, but honestly, that's just ...
Via Dreamdogsart.typepad.com
She didn't earn those awards just for being adorable, although that was a factor.
... what, Smoky took the wire and pulled it through that impossible snake-hole within minutes? Never mind.
After saving the lives of her whole unit with the re-established line, Smoky eventually left the service and moved on to civilian superstardom. She rode her war hero status and knack for circus trickery to become a famed performer, once appearing on live TV for 42 weeks straight while never once repeating a trick. The interest she raised was so great, in fact, that she single-pawedly raised Yorkshire terriers from complete obscurity to one of the world's most renowned dog breeds.
Via Dreamdogsart.typepad.com
What, you thought we were joking about the parachute thing?
Absolutely love the picture at the top of the page. Nothing says "adorable" and "awesome" at the same time like a picture of a Silky Terrier in front of a massive explosion...
ReplyWhere is Stubby the pitbull?
ReplyRecently saw the statue of Sallie at Gettysburg. Someone had left flowers and a dog biscuit.
ReplyKamikaze dog? Could someone please explain to me why dogs aren't the dominating species
ReplyBecause most live to please their owners.
The 'no opposable thumbs' thing is a real bitch.
Now, how about cats?
ReplyNaaah.
Guys- Sally was a "bull terrier" back when the term meant pit bull The egg-head dogs called Bull Terriers today are, long story short, the result of an aristocrat breeding some collie and Dalmatian into the bloodlines to get a specific look. Staffordshire Bull Terriers weren't recognized as such until 1935 (in the UK, 1975 in the US), with the UKC registering pit bulls in 1898. American Staffordshire Terriers were pit bulls allowed into the AKC on a very limited basis (and called Am.Staffs to deter the dog-fighting crowd and to distinguish it from the much smaller Staffordshire). So while calling Sally a "bull terrier" is misleading if you're more familiar with the modern version, they're not completely off as the breeds weren't really separate until later.
ReplySallie is a staffordshire bull terrier. Bull terriers have long snouts. If you are getting your information from nycivil, there is no such thing as pig nosed bull terrier only type of pig nose dogs are like pugs, Boston terriers, English bull dogs, french bulldogs ect. Also sgt stubby should of been on this list.
ReplyI much prefer it when the author link to their sources - and not just Wikipedia. Especially, for example, when we are presented with evidence that Rags lost his eye when it was destroyed by gas (in the image of Rags sat by the massive notice that the author clearly didn't read) and then the author goes on to say he lost it when he was hit by a car.... good article otherwise though.
ReplyWhat about Sgt. Stubby? He was actually given rank for his heroism.
ReplyDogs of War.
ReplyDogs of War.
ReplyIt's amazing how dogs have some sort of intuition of humans. I have a Catahoula Cur named Patches. Early this summer when I first heard that my grandma had Lymphoma, I just walked out on my front porch and sat in a rocking chair, sobbing. Usually Patches runs up to me energetically wagging her tail, but this time she slowly walked up to me and laid her head on my lap. She's never done that before, she could just tell I was sad. It was the smallest gesture, but in that moment it meant the world to me. Needless to say, I turned on the waterworks. And as of today, my grandma's cancer is in remission and I still love my dog.
ReplyTL;DR - Dogs are the most therapeutic beings on the planet.
I'm surprised Sargent Stubby didn't make the list. Dogs are amazing.
Reply Hide All See All 3 Repliesheh, whenever I'm having a bad day, I look up Sergeant Stubby on wikipedia and it never fails to cheer me up. I was hoping he'd be on this list but then I remembered he's on pretty much every other Cracked list about dogs so I don't feel so bad.
Agree! Abpt were the poster child of USA during wwi. Stubby was on the "7 Dogs That Accomplished More Than We Ever Will", but so was smoky the yorkie.
Stubby is tops in a previous article.
My dog wasn't a war hero, but boy was she a sweetheart.
Replystill miss her 4 years later.
MANY great stories about brave animals in combat...Thx for this excellent article...
ReplyI'm just returning from Iraq and now really miss my dog.
ReplyWelcome home, bro...Glad ya made it...
Airborne ATW...!
Rangers LTW...!
Welcome home! And thank you :)
Oh gosh.
ReplyI started crying at #5 and just KEPT CRYING THE REST OF THE WAY THROUGH THIS ARTICLE.
These dogs. They were all such good boys and girls. *sniff sniff sob sob*
War horse, eat you f*****g heart out.
ReplyThis is why I adore dogs. They're the sweetest creatures until you threaten their family, and then they turn into absolute hell hounds. A few years ago I heard my cat yowling outside, and when I opened the door to see what the commotion was, she bolted through it with a tom cat hot on her trail. The only reason he didn't enter the house was because my Chow/Flat Coated Retriever mix (imagine a small Newfoundland) was standing with me in the doorway. He's the kind of dog that greets complete strangers with a kiss and a tail wag, and is friendly to all dogs and cats that he meets. However, he saw the tom cat terrorizing my cat, and a sound that could only be described as demonic came out of his mouth. One minute my harmless fluffball of a dog is standing next to me, and the next this snarling and snapping devil is chasing the cat into a nearby storm drain. It took me ten minutes to drag all 100 pounds of him back into the house. It's amazing that dogs protect their families just as fiercely as they love them.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesMy parents love Chesapeake Bay Retrievers and have always kept at least one. When I was just a baby, this big, muscular working dog would let me do just about anything to him -- crawl all over him, play with his face, try to ride him like a horse. Never once did he get rightfully pissed off at me. But that one time a drunk guy tried to break into the house...
Yeah, dogs are amazing.
I've heard that Chesapeake Bay Retrievers are great dogs! My dog is the same way. My niece has given him bear hugs, used him as a stepping stool, and accidentally ripped out some of his fur. Each time he's responded with nothing more than a lick to her face. They're just amazing creatures to have around. I often wish that humans were more similar to dogs because of how easily they love and forgive.
My yorkie does the same thing. This tomcat keeps walking on our porch and fighting with our cats. He will bark and bark and bark at that damn cat until it leaves. Gets kind of annoying.
well, unless you're my dog, who hates everyone, haha. But she's a rescue who went through some really horrible s**t before I got her, so I don't begrudge her wanting to eat strange people.
I have a Newfoundland, and she's been with my family since I was a kid. Once when I was younger, there was a man at our front door. My parents had friends staying over, and I thought he was one of them, but it turned out he wasn't. We hardly ever got visitors, and I was very nervous. To this day I don't know what his deal was, but I had to physically restrain a 150 pound dog by the collar while she glared him down and snarled at him. I guess she was worried, too, and I'm glad she was there to help me.
ReplyWhen I was sick she used to lie near me and sort of whine at me. It wasn't a sad whine. I believe she felt bad for me and was trying to comfort me.
She's an amazing dog. Very old now, but if you sit near her when she lays on the floor she will always put her head on your lap and give you kisses.
All dogs are wonderful, and all pets are special, for that matter, but it's pretty great to see that a Newfie was #1 on this list. My dog might not be a war hero, but she's got the same blood and the same need to protect her family.