|
If television has taught us anything, it's that heroes can come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes they're dog-shaped. In fact, despite having a lifespan shorter than an average Mazda 626, some dogs have managed to accomplish more than most of us could ever hope to. Dogs like... #7.
Sergeant Stubby
Stubby, a terrier mix, was found on the Yale campus in 1917 and smuggled aboard the USS Minnesota by his owner, John Robert Conroy, to fight in WWI, making Stubby the only thing from Yale to ever contribute anything to society.
Stubby officially entered service February 5, 1918, and fought in the French trenches for 18 months, presumably because the Army's recruiting quota was desperately behind schedule. He was one of the many war dog of WWI, which were used to keep morale up in the trenches by being adorable.
Not content with merely joining the Army and surviving a World War, Stubby the dog also managed to become a bonafide hero. You see, "Sergeant" wasn't just some cutesy name he was given, oh no. He actually earned that rank, meaning a cadre of superior officers decided he was eligible for promotion over other qualified, battle-hardened human beings. Why? One, he was able to warn his unit of incoming artillery attacks thanks to his dog-hearing, and after being hit by a chlorine attack he became very sensitive to the smell of gas. So much so that he could accurately detect it in the air before it hit lethal dosage, barking like a maniac until the soldiers put their masks on. Stubby also managed to save many people from "no-mans land," the open stretches of land between trenches, by listening for people shouting in English and then either leading medics to the wounded or guiding the wounded back to their trench. If they were speaking German he would presumably stab them with a bayonet he had clenched in his jaws.
Most amazingly, Stubby managed to capture a German spy single-handedly, uncovering the bastard hiding in a bush in no-man's land and making a map of the Allied trenches. Stubby started barking to alert the Allied soldiers, and when the spy ran, Stubby chased him down and bit the shit out of him, subduing him until the Allied soldiers arrived. Not to take anything from Stubby's accomplishment, but we feel this must have been the worst German spy in the history of the world. #6.
Togo the Siberian Husky
Togo was the lead sled dog of a team owned by a man named Leonhard Seppala, a Norwegian that worked for a mining company in Alaska presumably because Norway wasn't providing enough different ways for him to freeze to death.
In 1925, a huge outbreak of diphtheria erupted in remote Alaska, and since there weren't exactly a whole lot of roads available, the only way to deliver medicine was by dog sled. Togo was made the leader of a trip to cross the frozen tundra of Alaska to deliver the antitoxin, braving -35 (Celsius) degree weather with a -65 (Celsius) degree wind chill and a terrible selection of satellite radio stations. And he did it across 84 miles in a single day. That night, Togo slept for just six hours before heading out again at 2am in a balmy -80(Celsius) degree headwind, journeying along an ice-laden shoreline that was breaking beneath his feet before finally giving the serum to the next team, a plucky group of huskies led by a dog named Balto.
Yes, even though Togo traveled a much longer distance under more extreme conditions, Balto got the cartoon because he happened to be the one that brought the medicine the rest of the way. Fuck him. #5.
Smoky the Yorkshire Terrier
Smoky was a Yorkshire Terrier that was found in an abandoned foxhole in New Guinea in 1944 by American soldiers, who made the logical choice of taking him with them because fuck it, dogs are cute.
More noteworthy than surviving three years in a war-torn jungle as one of the least threatening animals on the planet is how Smoky managed to do it with approximately the same level of resources as a Dickensian orphan and still avoid being bombed to death 150 times.
Because Smoky was not an "official" war dog, the Army would not feed him or even give him medical aid if he got shot, possibly due to fact that Smoky was a loose cannon and was making the department look bad. So his owner shared his rations and kept Smoky in his tent, which worked out for the owner's benefit. While on a transport ship, Smoky guided his owner to cover after hearing the whistle of incoming artillery shells over the booming of the ship's cannons. Smoky also took part in a parachute jump which history has chosen not to explain.
Actually, looking at that picture, we're not sure an explanation is needed. We're picturing a room full of military men, saying nothing, just nodding to each other and quietly strapping a parachute to a dog. The only possible objection would involve whether or not the camera was in the right position. #4.
Saint Guinefort
Guinefort was a greyhound owned by a French knight in the 13th century and, just to be clear, is an actual saint, despite the Church's insistence that dogs have no souls. One day, the knight went hunting and left his infant child in the care of Guinefort the dog, which is exactly the kind of decision French people usually make. When he returned, his house was torn up, his baby was missing, and Guinefort's face was covered in blood like Al Roker at a meat packing plant. Assuming Guinefort had eaten his kid, the knight chopped the dog's head off, only to find the baby safely in a corner of the room next to the mutilated corpse of a viper.
The knight and his family were so distressed about killing their faithful friend that they buried him in a well and built a shrine around it, and Guinefort became a saint for infants, protecting them from the evils of the world. However, a disturbing cult sprang around him with insane rituals that seem to confuse "protecting infants" with "setting infants on fire" as described in a book called De Supersticione: On St. Guinefort: ... mothers took the baby and placed it naked at the foot of the tree on the straws of a cradle, lit at both ends two candles a thumbs breadth thick with fire they had brought with them and fastened them on the trunk above. Then, while the candles were consumed, they went far enough away that they could neither hear nor see the child. In this way the burning candles burned up and killed a number of babies, as we have heard from others in the same place.
So to recap: Dog: Performs selfless act that saves a human life. Yeah they really should be keeping us as pets. |
5 Self-Destructive Ways People Accidentally Cured Themselves
6 Fake Foods You (Will Wish You Didn't) Have in Your Kitchen
6 Natural Disasters That Were Caused by Human Stupidity
17 More Images You Won't Believe Aren't Photoshopped
"And according to Endal, Jr., he was the world's greatest dad." Aww.
My friends recommended me a very interesting place __AgelessFriends.com__ It's a nice and free place for Younger Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Age gap is not a problem there. You may wanna check it out and tell your friends.
My friends recommended me a very interesting place __AgelessFriends.com__ It's a nice and free place for Younger Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Age gap is not a problem there. You may wanna check it out and tell your friends.
I'm still laughing at the picture of the parachuting dog. best thing ever.
Yeah, but could any of these dogs crap on the floor? Huh? Because mine can!
Also keep in mind that the finish were flying american designed / made planes in the winter war.
to 'thehead' (which we all know is your nick name because thats what you like giving). EVERY male member of my family has been in a combat situation since the french-Indian War. ( I recently was allowed to join the 'sons of the revolution' after a very intense background check to prove my ancestors fought in the revolution). EVERY MALE, EVERY WAR. Just to name a few: Great Uncle: In spotter plane 'the great artiste' that helped drop a-bomb in j*pan '45 Grandfather: Korean War Father: air force in vietnam Myself: Navy (joined in '99, my destoyer has world records for south american drug busts in the pacific before war on terror, had friends on USS Cole. Younger Brother: Air force- war on terror Youngest Brother: currently a combat medic with the rangers getting ready to be deployed in afghan, only 19. We all joined fresh out of high school, and did our part for our country. Dont ever in your life presume that I dont know what combat is like, or the thought that my bro might be killed in afghan. MY ENTIRE FAMILY sacrificed so b***hes like you can have the right to sit at your desk and tell me I make you sick. FUCK YOU! Bin Laden said himself that he decided to attack us after we allowed our rangers bodies to be draggged through the streets of mogadishu and did nothing but pull our troops out. We should have leveled that s**t hole, and the world would get the FUCKING HINT that you DO NOT FUCK WITH US! Instead it just let our enemies know that if they kill a few of us that the liberals at home will cry and demand we pull out of the combat zone allowing them free reign like they now have in mogadishu. Enjoy your freedoms that I fought for you to keep, a*****e.
Okay, we really don't need to have history discussion on Cracked, but whatever. I wouldn't say the Finns lost the Winter War, if Russia had gotten what they wanted they would have taken all of Finland. Considering it was a peace treaty, it was more like a stalemate, although Finland did come out worse than Russia. Still, how could they not have, they were freaking badass just to stand up to the Russians for that long with such a disadvantage in numbers. Just cause I found it here's a link to a pic of the land Finland lost after the Winter War. http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/7a/Finnish_areas_ceded_in_1940.png
They just said French trenches. Not French Army trenches.
You know... the q***r thing about Smoky 'hearing the artillery shells approach and guiding his owner to cover' is that artillery shells were generally supersonic by the WW2 era. Yes, they travel in a curve so it is possible that the dog would know that a shell had been launched, but not necessarily where it was going to land. Therefore, smoky was a psychic wonderdog Q.E.D.
Humans suck. Animals rule.
Stubby joined the army in February 1918 and served in the trenches for 18 months, even though the war ended in November 1918 (9 months into his service)? What were the French doing manning their trenches for 9 months after the war had ended? Plus, if he was an American dog, what was he doing in the French army? Was it the Foreign Legion or did he realize that it would be better to fight in an army that had been in the war for the full four years rather than one that joined in at the last minute?
Wanna to meet tall singles, tall beautiful women and tall handsome men????? Here is a very nice place ~~~~~~~~~ Tall flirts . c o m ~~~~~~~~~~~ It's where Tall people look for someone to enjoy their lifestyle with.
Holy crud. This was so awesome. Those dogsare totally kickass, and even the cat lovers in the crowd have to admit that theyr just too damn cute. (Endal/Endal jr., I'm looking at you!)
Cats suck. Just seems like the appropriate place to say that, lazy bastards.
Kull/BeastKing "Italians s**tty soldiers? At least they lost a war against superpowers...not against turban wearing Afghans like you! Oh and don't forget the tire-sandaled vietnamese! Or the Koreans! Or the shi'a lebanese who truckbombed you to oblivion making you RUN AWAY from Beirut!" ---- Well, had Italian WWII troops been there, they'd have been defeated even faster. Oh, and Italy didn't lose to any "superpower", it lost of Greece and was been hounded in Albania. Not exactly two mighty WWII-era nations.
@Fuckaccounts- i didnt say we won the war because we just gave up because it was a situation that was never going to end. the chinese flooding arms into Vietnam, running supplies through Loas and we were not allowed to stop it since laos wasnt in the war, my dad even told me about he ships that were firing at his ship would run to chinese waters and his ship couldnt fire back because it would be an act of war on china...the whole situation was f**ked
@Fuckaccounts- i didnt say we won the war because we just gave up because it was a situation that was never going to end. the chinese flooding arms into Vietnam, running supplies through Loas and we were not allowed to stop it since laos wasnt in the war, my dad even told me about he ships that were firing at his ship would run to chinese waters and his ship couldnt fire back because it would be an act of war on china...the whole situation was f**ked
What? No mention of the fact that dogs can detect humans infected with the Solanum virus?
@smill0313 i'd like to see your attitude after you experience war. go to Israel or a Palestinian state and look at the people dying because of guns and violence and tell them it's a good thing. warmongers like you make me sick.
7 Secrets Only Two Living People Know (For Some Reason)
The 15 Most Shameless Fake Photos Ever Passed Off as Real
6 Creepy Urban Legends That Happen to be True (Part 3!)
The 6 Creepiest Places on Earth
The Men Who Stare At Goats: New Trailer
Curse of the Duck Hunt Dog
Copyright © 2005 - 2009 Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved. CRACKED, CRACKED.COM and the "CRACKED" logo are trademarks owned by Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved.
Reddit
Facebook
StumbleUpon
Digg
Del.icio.us
Fark
