War never changes.
That's why you have to switch it up whenever possible. Keep it interesting! Toss those spears and bombs away, have yourself a sit-down and really think: Can I win a battle with my bodily waste, fire reptiles instead of bullets or defeat an invading army with rock 'n' roll? Hell yes, you can! The historical precedents are already there:
5The British and Opium-Laced Cigarettes
Most of the fighting in WWI was taking place in Europe, but the Middle East, where British and Ottoman soldiers clashed, saw its fair share of the action as well. By1917, the British had the Ottomans on the run, and they were hoping to get to Jerusalem by Christmas. You know: Really honor the birth of Christ and all that by sacking the Holy Shit out of the Holy City. Elsewhere, an intelligence officer named Meinertzhagen was enacting a propaganda operation that involved dropping cigarettes and leaflets to Ottoman soldiers, hoping to convince them to surrender. The Ottomans, much like downtown homeless punks at an all are welcome church pancake breakfast, simply took all the free crap and paid no attention to the proselytizing.
Addicts don't stop for propaganda.
Later in the campaign, the Ottomans were making their last stand against the British, holed up in the city of Sheria. The British bombarded the Ottoman positions day and night, but they would not budge. It seemed the only way to take the city was a costly and brutal attack. Then in comes Meinertzhagen: He hopped into his plane and dropped thousands of cigarettes on the Ottomans, just like usual. They didn't even fire at his vehicle: The Weird White Guy Free Cigarette Express was always welcome in Ottoman Town.
Proof that, sometimes, smoking can be good for your health.
This time, however, Meinertzhagen's cigarettes also contained large doses of opium, so when the Ottomans lit up, they got a nice, unintended high with their nicotine. When the British attacked afterward, the Ottomans were too bombed to mount a successful defense. The British successfully took Sheria, and soon after Jerusalem.
And that's why the DARE. chapter in Sheria is so goddamn militant to this day.
DARE to keep Gaza out of British hands.
4Hannibal's Snake Catapults
Hannibal was kind of a bad motherfucker, but the Romans were kind of a lot of bad motherfuckers, and they eventually sent the great military commander into defeat. He traveled around the Mediterranean, searching for allies to protect him, and he eventually he came to live in Bithynia (in modern-day Turkey) under the protection of King Prusias I. Prusias was having some problems with King Eumenes of the Pergamenes and needed Hannibal's help defeating him.
When King Eumenes and the Pergamenes sailed for Bithynia to provoke a sea battle, Hannibal allowed it because, even though he had fewer ships, he had something better: A plan.
His favorite part is when it comes together.
Hannibal ordered his men to gather as many poisonous snakes as possible, and put them into pots. He then sent a message to King Eumenes and tracked the messenger to find out which ship he was stationed on. Hannibal ordered all of his forces to attack that ship when the Pergamenes fleet was within range, and then launched his pots against the enemy.
Elephants were so last war.
When they saw dishes being hurled at them instead of literally anything else -- burning material, boulders, vicious insults -- the Pergamenes thought it was the desperate last-ditch effort of a depleted enemy, and they laughed. When the pots broke, they stopped laughing: Thousands of snakes slithered throughout their ships, some venomous, some biting, but all terrifyingly unexpected. The Pergamenes went into panic mode, and don't you dare judge them for it: Everybody has a snake phobia when they're being launched at you from god damn catapults. Some of the sailors retreated back to the coast to slap at their clothes and cry, while others tried to fight the snakes and Hannibal's men simultaneously, and lost. Badly.
Their shins were weak.
Probably after slipping in all the puddles of fear urine.