#2. Power Factory featuring C + C Music Factory
If anyone you know through some odd set of circumstances ever finds themselves forever enshrined in the halls of history as a video game character and for some reason tries to lord that fact over you, reply thusly: "Yeah, fucking C + C Music Factory was in a video game too." That should end their gloating right there on the spot.
So we've established that this thing even being allowed to exist is a blight against the achievements of man, but what about the game? Did it at least redeem its questionable right to be by kicking hella ass? Of course not.
Basically, the bottom of the screen ran three video feeds. One of them was an actual C + C Music Factory video. So there's strike one. The other two feeds are of random stock footage that is sent to a master recorder using the A, B or C buttons. So if you hear the word "butter" somewhere in the song and a stick of butter is on the screen at the same time, you press the appropriate button to edit a picture of a stick of butter into the video that you are in charge of editing together.
Shit, did they say "crying baby" or "guy in Navy?" (Source)
And your reward for this epic achievement in the field of hand-eye coordination? You get to watch the video. Or try again if you fucked up. Either way, you're listening to a whole lot of C + C Music Factory, so really, nobody wins.
No one but the devil.
#1. The Thompson Twins Adventure
If you're wondering how or why British one hit wonders The Thompson Twins wound up with their own video game, keep wondering. Some mysteries are just not meant to be solved. But if you're looking at that picture of the Thompson Twins Adventure Game and wondering how in the hell a vinyl LP can be a video game, shockingly, the answer is quite simple. And quite retarded.
Think about it: This must have been one of the first shitty video games ever bought en masse by confused-but-well-meaning aunts.
Apparently, players had to record the vinyl LP onto a cassette tape which, when played on their hilarious 1980s era computers, produced a breathtaking adventure game with thrills and action the likes of which haven't been seen since The Oregon Trail. With the cutting edge graphics to match!
Holy shit, it really is The Thompson Twins!
If that screenshot looks exciting, just wait until you play The Thompson Twins Adventure yourself, which you can totally still do right here. The game is one of those old school text adventures where you just kind of have to know what to type in order to make the game work. I'd love to tell you about all of the different levels and adventures to be found within this white knuckle cliffhanger of a game, but all of the fun I needed was found in the first seconds of playing when I learned you could do this...
Which immediately results in this...