Most experienced surgeons and doctors will say they've seen it all. Most surgery is fairly routine, and it's only occasionally that you slice somebody open and some really crazy shit pops out.
Have we found you a list of some of the craziest shit? Why, yes.
7A Giant Hairball
In 2007, an 18-year-old woman entered the Rush University Medical Center in Chicago complaining of stomach pains, vomiting and an inexplicable loss of 40 pounds. Losing that kind of weight all at once usually means you've had a limb amputated, or recently gave birth to a full-grown midget.
Rarely, it's a quatto.
An x-ray was taken, and they found a "large, dark mass," which ranks up there with "colony of spiders" in the list of phrases you are least happy to hear after a medical examination.
When they operated to remove what they assumed was a tumor, they instead pulled out a 10-pound hairball. Yes. A ball of hair. It was over a foot long.
We can only speculate that this must have led to the most awkward post-op interview in history.
Basically, Cousin Itt was living in their stomach
But Could it Happen to Me?
Turns out the young woman, whose name has not been released (we don't blame her) suffers from trichophagia. That means she eats her hair. A lot, apparently.
And while we all do a bit of hair-chewing and nail-nibbling from time to time, few of us realize that all this indigestible detritus that we gnaw off our bodies can wind up lodged in our digestive tracts, steadily growing in size year after year until it looks like a furry chestburster.
Damn you furry chestburster!
There are even medical records of something called Rapunzel syndrome, when the hairball snakes its way through your intestines and, oh God stop.
It's a hair-poop.