The 6 Biggest Badasses Who Lived As The Opposite Sex

All right, we don't to be jerks here, but looking at the picture up there we're thinking this probably was not one of the more difficult disguises to pull off.
Catalina de Erauso was a Spanish woman in the 1600s who felt that life was too boring for Spanish women in the 1600s. When her family decided she was to be a nun, that was the last straw and she bolted, looking for adventure in the New World.

Extreme!
Under the name "Francisco de Loyola," she fought as a Spanish soldier, and like most soldiers, gambled, dueled, drank and broke hearts. Noble families everywhere tried to set their daughters up with this dashing young fellow, and she strung them along for all the cash and sex she could get before bolting.

Sooner or later, the game was going to be up, and the canny Catalina decided to beat them to the punch by finding a sympathetic powerful man, a bishop in particular, and giving him her side of the story. The end result was that in return for fooling everyone and running away to fight, drink and screw like a man, and telling everyone about it, she returned to Spain a hero and was commended by the king and even the Pope.

She brought about feelings that were strange and deeply confusing.
She may possibly have been the smoothest talker of that era in both the Old World and the New.

Yes, the Chevalier d'Eon was so androgynous the Japanese were compelled to make an anime about him.
The Chevalier, who dressed and acted like a man, was part of an elite French spy corps reporting directly to Louis XV. "He" carried out successful infiltration and spy missions in the Russian court and in England as interim French ambassador.

When a new French ambassador arrived, he did his best to undermine d'Eon as part of a power play, and d'Eon retaliated by publishing a load of French spy secrets while holding back the best ones as a threat. This kept him safe personally but ended his spy career.
Now in retirement, he felt free to let out his big secret: he had been a woman the whole time.

Surprise, motherfuckers!
The government was cool with this but demanded that he start dressing as a woman, and he said he was cool with this if the government paid for it, which they did. He went on to have more adventures, participating in the American Revolution, publishing his memoirs and trying to start up a division of women soldiers.
Why did we keep referring to d'Eon as "he" after he came out as a cross-dressing woman? Well, that's the kicker.
After he died, they found out he had a penis the whole time. So... he was what you might call a double crossdresser.

Charley Parkhurst was one of the Old West's legendary characters, maybe because he fit the part so well: Charley was a grizzled old one-eyed stagecoach driver, fearless and hard-boiled. He was also, as you can probably guess, a lady.

Charlotte Parkhurst was an orphaned girl who grew up working in stables and eventually stuck to boys' clothing so she could keep on that path. In Charley's long and adventurous career, she had quite a few close calls, possibly due to the difficulty of hiding her "graciously endowed" rack (as described by the attending physician upon death).
Yet, she managed to keep it up by moving to another location when exposed, or when her likable personality caused friends to cover up for her.
Along the way, she lost an eye to a horse kick or a rattlesnake bite, became the first woman known to vote in a presidential election (52 years before women were granted the vote), became one of Wells Fargo's top stage drivers, and turned to lumberjacking and running a stage business after she retired.

Manlier than 90 percent of dudes today
When she died of cancer, the attending physician commented on his breasts, as mentioned above, and also dropped a bomb when he said "further examination revealed that old 'Cock-eyed Charley' had given birth to a child." Holy shit! How the hell did she explain away that year of her life, and why the hell hasn't somebody made a sitcom about it?
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For more badass spies, check out 5 Spies with Bigger Balls Than James Bond. Or find out about some soldiers who went above and beyond the call of ass-kicking duty, in 5 Real Life Soldiers Who Make Rambo Look Like a Pussy.
And stop by our Top Picks (Updated 3.26.2010) to find out which columnist is actually a woman.
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Wow, Marina the monk was pretty noble. Loved her daddy, too. I think I like her.
Reply"Penis Club" huh... I wonder if that really exists...
ReplyI would watch that sitcom about Parkhurst, would be better than most of them on nowadays
Reply"The French may not know war, comedy, proper hygiene or diplomacy,
Replybut they know when a woman ain't a woman"
love it!
I'd heard of Billy Tipton before. There is a novel called 'Trumpet' by Jackie Kay who was inspired by the story and wrote about a jazz musician who lived life as a man but was actually a woman. It's not a biography and is written from all the characters' perspectives after the death of the cross-dressing main character. I imagine that is how Tipton's children and musician friends felt after the scandal broke loose.
Replythere's a really good play based on it called also trumpet I saw a few years ago
This article is two years old now, so I doubt anything is going to be changed, but that's not Bernard Bouriscot in the very left picture up there; that was his guard during the trial. Someone cropped the wrong person.
ReplyLove the Just One of the Guys screen shot lol!!! "It's ok...she's got tits" lol!
ReplyA man crossdressing as a woman crossdressing as a man.
ReplyChevalier must have been a huge Shakespeare fan.
Chevalier means Knight, so that's definitely not his name.
I'm pretty sure the entire thing, Chevalier d'Eon, was just a title... or nickname. I mean, "Chevalier d'" just means "Knight of" and I think Eon... well, that's a word in and of itself. Wiki says his name was Charles, I'm not sure about that part.
But... I will admit... I did watch the anime. It's trippy as all-get out, involves mercury zombies, and is not quite historically accurate. But at the very end of the last episode it does have some legit historical facts presented as white text on the screen, so you know it's legit.
Being female, I'm trying to figure out how the "monk" concealed "his" periods. The other cases of bio-women, I can figure they'd have had opportunity to obtain and hide certain hygiene items, but in a monastery?
Reply Hide All See All 3 Replies...Magic?
Rags were used in previous times. (Hence the crude 'being on the rag'). It wouldn't have been too hard to take care of personal issues and burn the rags in fireplaces or stoves or braziers afterwards.
I don't remember where I read this, but someone has suggested that women in older times didn't have regular periods because they were malnourished most of the time. I can understand this of the poorer classes, but I would think that wealthy women would have had them monthly. So if the monks weren't well nourished (due to the vow of poverty and all), it's possible that she didn't have regular periods, and so wouldn't have had to conceal them every month.
Where are all the Mulan jokes...?
ReplyI'm kinda surpirsed no one quoted Final Fantasy V: "Enough expository banter! Now we fight like men! And ladies! And ladies who dress like men!"
May I just say, that that anime of Chevalier d'Eon is so hot. Will definitely watch it. Thanks, Cracked!
ReplyP.S.
Bummer that she ended up being a guy, really.
Really? I thought s/he was cute in a childish sort of way. But, I'm (I assume) younger than you, so to me s/he looks about 8 or 11. How do you find them hot?
it's actually quite good
M. Butterfly is a play that appeals both to snotty college professors and to people who like plot-driven Communist spy stories, so that's a pretty rare achievement.
ReplyI have nightmares about that movie.
Not because of anything it did, per se; it's actually kind of my own fault. I was in high school when it came out, and wanted to ask out a girl from my math class. I suggested going to see a movie. Seems safe, right? She played flute in her school orchestra back home, and liked classical music, so I picked this, thinking it had something to do with the Puccini opera, Madame Butterfly. So, we got a love story, classical music influences, I figure it's good choice.
Well, suffice to say, the movie had absolutely nothing to do with opera, and the actual subject matter made things kind of awkward. That wasn't the biggest problem though. No, that would be the moment on the way home, when she asked me how they could have had sex in that one particularly graphic scene against wall if they were both men. That left me in the unenviable position of being a 16 year old boy trying to explain anal sex to a 15 year old German exchange student who happened to be staying with the chief of security on the airbase where I lived. (The fact that he took great pains to remind me of his position when I picked her up made it all the more troublesome.)
The whole thing is kind of hazy, but I believe I just shrugged, said I didn't know either, and then we drove home pretty much in silence.
//"Then they all felt like dicks."//
ReplyWhen does a monk *not* feel like dick?
thats why they shaved the top of their heads. they figured there was a slit there
#1 was the best one.
ReplyI have a fondness for badass men who dress like women.
Replyi bet you do..
*Starts flipping through a JC Penny catalogue*
I can't believe you hadn't included Mrs. Doubtfire!
ReplyOld ladies aren't true badasses, sorry.
And this list was for real people who really lived -- fictional characters need not apply.
what about Tobias Funke, living as Ms. Featherbottom?
ReplyMaybe d'Eon was a female with an unusually large clitoris and the examiner just didn't look that closely
ReplyReminds me of Lady Oscar.
hindsight's 20/20 emmakate
For the ones with actual photographs of them, it was completely obvious what they really were. Everyone the interacted with must have been dumb and oblivious as hell.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesIt's always obvious.
oh, come on, really??
As a trans man, I can tell you that people sometimes just don't look that close. I've been called "he" and "sir" without binding my breasts and sometimes even while wearing girl's clothes.
It's you again... Now seriously, how do you keep track of your _'s ?
Also Leila, on the "Starship Troopers" episode of Futurama.
Reply