Look, people, if we're going to solve this whole energy crisis thing, we're going to have to think outside the box. Way the hell outside.
Fortunately, the alternative energy gold rush is full of researchers and companies doing just that. And what they've found out is you can get energy from pretty much any damned thing. Such as...
People have been burning feces for fuel probably since some cave man first did it by (hilarious) accident. Animal fecal matter is already used in biogas generators in places like zoos and farms, and San Francisco is starting to collect dog and cat feces to produce methane. Seems like it would take a lot of cat shit to power a city but we're sure they know what they're doing.
Collecting human feces these days is a different matter though, as most of us aren't willing to poop in a bucket and take it out with the recyclables.
And the ones that are are just way too into it.
Thankfully, we have babies. Babies (and seniors!) poop into a handy-dandy little fecal collection unit known as a diaper. Unfortunately, the destination is usually the landfill and about 27 billion of these little turd packs are thrown away every year in the U.S. alone. That's 3.4 million tons of potential brown gold.
And They get Energy from this... How?
AMEC-PLC, a company in Canada, has begun building a facility to turn billions of poopy diapers into energy through the process of pyrolysis (breaking down molecules through heat). There's no burning and no emissions. The finished product of all these fecal-filled diapers is a diesel-like oil and probably a lot of refinery employees losing their will to live.
Although other garbage can be used for the process, diapers are perfect for it due to their "consistent stream of plastics, resins, fibres, excrement and urine." So are you also picturing a Road Warrior-like future where roving gangs battle for precious baby shit?
So, What's the Problem?
Well, as you can imagine, it's dirty. The diesel fuel created isn't any cleaner than the fuel we get from regular ol' crude oil.
There's also the problem of getting the diapers, the project linked above can use an existing diaper collection network already in place in Quebec. Otherwise, part of your operation will involve a large room of people whose job it is to pick dirty diapers out of mountains of garbage which, if we remember, Dante described as one of the punishments in Hell.