8 Racist Words You Use Every Day
Have you ever worried that, no matter how hard you try, you'll just never be racist enough? Well, you're in luck. As it turns out, you've been unconsciously using racial slurs your entire life! Slurs like...
#8.
Hooligan
How it's Used:
"I was nearly killed on my drive home by a group of hooligans playing paintball on the interstate."
What You're Actually Saying:
"I was nearly killed on my drive home by a group of dirty Irish drunkards playing paintball on the interstate."
Wait, What?
The earliest use of the word "hooligan" dates back to British newspaper and police reports in the summer of 1898. They seem to have adapted the word from the Houlihan family, a group of Irish immigrants living in London. The family became known for their hilarious drinking songs, jigs and their enthusiastic police brutality that tended to ensue (to a word, "Irish-ness").
But despite the beatdowns, the Houlihans continued to fight for their right to party, and did their motherland proud by forever associating their ethnic surname with stupid teenagers who like to play paintball on the interstate.
#7.
Vandal
How it's Used:
"Some vandals tagged the wall behind the local high school."
What You're Actually Saying:
"A horde of dirty godless Germans tagged the wall behind the local high school."
Wait, What?
Those of you who managed to stay awake during Western Civ. class will recall that the Vandals were one of the Germanic tribes that sacked Rome. They weren't any more or less destructive than any of the other tribes that got all up in Rome's shit, but they still have the distinction of lending their name to toilet-paper-hurling dipshits from now to eternity.
But in all fairness, it could have been worse: At least they didn't end up like the Goth tribe, which will forever be associated with shitty LiveJournal poetry.
#6.
Hip Hip Hooray!
How it's Used:
"We won the little league game! Hip hip hooray!"
What You're Actually Saying:
"We won the little league game! Let's go kill some Jews!"
Wait, What?
The first half of "hip hip hooray" is adapted from "hep hep," an old German shepherds' herding cry. That is, actual shepherds from Germany. Not the dogs.
Sounds pretty innocuous, right? Well, it was, up until around 1819, when the citizens of Germany and other neighboring countries began using it as their rallying cry while going Hebrew-hunting in the Jewish ghettos. So keep that in mind next time you're trying to come up with an appropriate cheer at your cousin's Bar Mitzvah.
#5.
Barbarian
How it's Used:
"In World of WarCraft, I play a level 60 barbarian."
What You're Actually Saying:
"In World of WarCraft, I play a stupid jabbering foreigner."
Wait, What?
Let's revisit that Western Civ. class again. Your teacher probably made a big deal out of the great Ancient Greek advances in politics, philosophy, architecture and so on. But she left out one crucial point: For a society that made such a big deal out of hubris, those motherfuckers could be really arrogant pricks.
Case in point: They thought that Greek wasn't just the best language, it was the only language that made any sense at all. All other languages just sounded like people saying "bar bar bar bar." Thus the word "barbarian," or someone who speaks the retarded monkey language that Greeks associated with every other nation on Earth.
#4.
Bugger
How it's Used:
"The dog peed on my leg again, that little bugger!"
What You're Actually Saying:
"The dog peed on my leg again, that little Bulgarian homosexual!"
Wait, What?
Back in the day, the Catholic Church was really intolerant of other religions. "The day," in this case, refers to every day from the founding of the church to, well, yesterday. The word "bugger" stems from "Bulgarian," or someone from Bulgaria, but medieval Catholics used it as a catch-all term for all members of the East Orthodox Church. Members of that church were considered heretics, and heresy is, of course, a slippery slope to sodomy. An awful, gross, terrible, slippery slope.
But that was the belief. Catholics at the time honestly thought that if your beliefs deviated even slightly from theirs, it followed that you were engaging in all sorts of perverse sexual acts. Such as monogamous sex between two consenting adults who happen to be the same gender. EVIL!
#3.
Cannibal
How it's Used:
"I don't care whether or not the other person consented, all cannibals should be sent to prison. It's disgusting."
What You're Actually Saying:
"I don't care whether or not the other person consented, all people from the West Indies should be sent to prison. It's disgusting."
Wait, What?
Picture this: You're a member of one of the indigenous tribes of the West Indies. Every day you wake up under the warm Caribbean sun, do a hard day's work and then chill out on the beach and watch the sun set. The weather is always beautiful, and life is good. Then, one day, some crazy Italian dude hops off a boat with his muskets and shit and accuses you all of cannibalism.
Well, now you know what it's like to be a member of the Carib people. Much like the Vandals, the Caribs got stuck with an unfortunate label that bares little relation to reality.
#2.
Gyp
How it's Used:
"Man, five dollars for a candy bar? What a gyp!"
What You're Actually Saying:
"Man, five dollars for a candy bar? You're a filthy Eastern European immigrant."
Wait, What?
Gyp is thought to be short for "Gypsy." And long before that term meant a group of odd people who roam the countryside running scams, it was an ethnic slur for the Romany people who immigrated from Eastern Europe. The term "Gypsy" evolved from the habit of calling the people Egyptians, because they sort of looked Egyptian and the locals were apparently too shy to ask the people where they were actually from.
The point is the negative meaning of the word started centuries ago, and even now plays off the common stereotype of Gypsies as sneaky, thieving con artists. At least they don't break all your shit like the Vandals, though. Assholes.
#1.
Picnic
How it's Used:
"Wow, look at that! The sun's shining, the bluebirds are singing ... why, I think it's a lovely day for a picnic!"
What You're Actually Saying:
"Wow, look at that! The sun's shining, the bluebirds are singing ... why, I think it's a lovely day to lynch a black person!"
Actually, no, this is what you're really saying:
"Wow, look at that! The sun's shining, the bluebirds are singing ... why, I think it's a lovely day for a picnic!"
Wait, What?
Confused? We're including this one just to save everybody the trouble down in the comments. If you bring up the topic of racist words, it's usually only minutes before some helpful expert will chime in with:
"Did you know 'picnic' dates back to lynching parties? It's true, 'picnic' is short for 'pick a n*gger.' As in, pick one to lynch. So when you eat sandwiches in the park, the blood of African Americans stains your very checkered tablecloth. Enjoy your sandwich, bigot."
This one, however, is bullshit. According to Snopes.com, the word "picnic" actually derives from the totally innocuous French word "piquenique." The other, horrible meaning of the word is found nowhere outside of that one idiotic email forward.
So it was never a euphemism for anything. Or even a real phrase. And if you believed that email, then we have some penis enlarging pills to sell you.
Before you go complaining that we promised eight, keep in mind that we gave you Goth, a term that is probably more insulting to the Goth tribe now than ever before.
Be sure to check out today's episode of S.W.A.I.M.:Looking Forward: 4 Ways To Make Fun of Obama, and the latest batch of our Top Picks from around the web and the Cracked.com Mirth Canal.
And now that you know how racist you are, it's time you learned why you're a pervert in 8 Everyday Words With X-Rated Origins. And while you're at it, go ahead and find out why all those big fancy words you use to look smart really make you look like a dipshit in 9 Words That Don't Mean What You Think.
My bad that last part was wrong. They weren't cannibals they were just accused of being cannibals. And while the act of assuming they are cannibals is stereotyping and racist, the word cannibal itself is not a racial slur. You're still making all of your readers believe they are subconcious racists through your own ignorance. Also I hope the American Heritage Dictionary sues you for raping their definitions.
ReplyLol I love how your definitions are there just to start random hatred. A barbarian is an uncivilized, uneducated man/woman, not a "filthy, vile foreigner". in fact the crap definitions you've given would be a lot more believable if they weren't the same sentence with one word changed. (ex. "a FILTHY drunken, Irish Bastard", "a FILTHY heathen german swine" "A FILTHY, vile foreigner") I applaud you on making probably thousands of people think they're subconcious racists though. But honestly, truly my favorite piece of ignorance in this article was the Cannibal one. The word wasnt specifically for the people of the west indies. Its a word that means someone who eats flesh of the same species. The people of the West indies ate human flesh. They were cannibals. Thats not racism, simply a statement of fact.
ReplyNice job race-baiting, Cracked! You may want to do a little bit of research before you make ridiculous claims. Picnic has nothing to do with lynching. The word originated in 1692 France ("piquenique" or to "pick" or "peck"). Check out Snopes for the full scoop.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesSo, does this mean "black holes" are racist too, Cracked?
Fail. Read the whole entry.
Ha you must have been really stoked about getting to be a condesending a*****e on the internet, you didn't even finish reading before you decided to tell everyone about how smart you are.
Man.. What is wrong with you? Can't you put your skepticism aside and enjoy a HUMOROUS article on a HUMOR site.. Get it.. Its humor.. Its supposed to make you laugh and not make you go like, "*gasp* that person is insulting me. I must retaliate."
Um, gypsies actually originated in India, not Eastern Europe.
ReplyThat's not what they're saying. They're saying people referred to Eastern Europeans as gypsies, not where they actually come from.
I go to Cambridge, one of the most ridiculously English, male-dominated institutions (I can say that, being a girl from Scotland...) Our little kitchens on the staircase we live on are called "gyp rooms" and back in ye olden days were used by the butlers (oh yes) who were nick-named gyps, short for gypsy, by the wonderfully intelligent and utterly racist bastards that used to occupy one of my favourite places.
ReplyJust to show how far we've come, they renamed the final term Easter, instead of "Hillary", but on our tenant agreements we still promise not to burn down the gyp rooms. It's in f*****g legal documents.
Irish, German, Jewish, Bulgarian, gay, forgein, West Indian, and Eastern European are NOT races. Black is. Congratulations, you got 7 out of 8 wrong. You cheapen the terms race and racism when you throw them around willy nilly to apply to every group and clan.
Reply Hide All See All 6 Repliesoh just shut up.
Nah those are all races or at least SUB races.
"Race" is defined by the cultural practices of the day. In the early 20th century, Latinos were considered white, but the Irish weren't, they had their own separate Irish race. You can't try to define race, because it's all a social construct.
Even though gay and foreign aren't races, the words could be considered racist as they are against a group of people with common culture. Irish, German, Jewish, and Bulgarian are races, retard.
Black is a shade. Way to f**k it up while trying to sound all indignant and superior.
f******d
Sounding pretty racist there! I think I understand what you mean though. As in white is a race, black is a race, and asian is a race. But you sound pretty racist just saying black.
I don't use any of these words daily.
Replylol, Fez...
Reply>back in the day.
ReplyLol
Hum. I thought most people would already know plenty of these. Heh, you learn something every day.
ReplyI knew about Vandas and Goths, but I heard a slightly different story about Barbarian. The one I heard was, the Romans would here a foreigner speak and thought it sounded like the noise sheep make "Baa baa"
ReplyIt is Greek in origin, I promise. It is derived from the greek work "barbaros," which is used to refer to foreigners.
Amla; the greeks borrowed the word. They were considered barbarians by the people they borrowed from.
Picnic, I always wondered about that one, we had to change our whole company "picnic" fliers to say "Outing" instead, and only one guy complained about it!
ReplyConsidering how minor it is changing it was a pretty good decision.
outing sounds cooler
So I was right the whole time, we're all racist! Hip hip Hooray!
ReplyI call my three year old nephew a little bugger all the time. o.0
Reply..my gf's a racist! she keeps wanting me to take her on a picnic!..all the black people i know are too kool to kill, guess i could contact my local KKK group, im sure they have extras laying around
Replynot cool man, not cool.
Dammit I'm from the West Indies!!! :'(
ReplyDon't worry, your are only ethnicly are carib if you are from the Lesser Antilles like St. Kitts or St. Vincent. My Gran is a carib from St. Vincent and it is sad to know that the canibal myth is still around.
FYI, gypsies aren't Eastern European, they're Asians (mainly Indians) that have been brought in the past as slaves to Europe, and have since gained their own rights. Most Eastern European natives are Caucasian, like you, and gypsies, like other minorities from any country, barely add up to 5% of the population.
Reply Hide All See All 8 RepliesThank you for not bothering to look it up and continue the trend of blissful ignorance (or stupidity).
thats not correct at all...
What are you talking about...? That is not true at all.
"Gypsy" was the derogatory term generally given to the Roma. They are distinct ethnic group, but they are Europeans.
They're from "Eastern Persia and beyond"... At least that's what Assassin's Creed told me. :D
The slavery thing isn't true, but it is true that Gypsies (or Romani) did originally come from India before coming to Eastern Europe. Just look them up on Wikipedia, it's right there.
Sindy is somewhat right.. nobody knows for sure where the Roma (commonly, but disrespectfully know as "Gypsies") are from, but the leading hypothesis is that they are from the Indus Valley
But Sindy didn't even have a point. All he said was "Here's some debatable info I looked up on wikipedia that you didn't happen to include."
"Most Eastern European natives are Caucasian, like you"
Speaking of continuing trends of blissful ignorance: Did it ever occur to you that a non-caucasian might happen to read your comment?
Don't worry about "Hip hip hooray"; it was used by the British long before the Nazis. It evolved from other similar cries in the Middle Ages, but was in place by the seventeenth century.
ReplyShort cries ("Hip hip") carry across the air, and many cultures developed them independently. (Including the Nazis, but only among hundreds of other groups you haven't heard of)
I thought I knew all these already but turned out I didn't. Thanks for the education. That said, I doubt any less use of these terms will take place, since I dun' use 'em much to begin with. (Except pique. And I will continue to use that since there are few better ways to say 'pique one's curiosity or interest'.)
ReplyWhen I was a kid, I blurted out something to the effect of, "Get your cotton pickin' hands off my whatever!" thinking that "cotton picking" was an old phrase I'd heard my grandparents use, and therefore it must be squeaky clean. Even as it came out of my mouth, it suddenly hit me... I'd just more or less called the other kid the N-word. (Luckily, she wasn't black.)
ReplyAlso, I think a lot of people are onto gyp, it's pretty obvious because of the spelling. I sometimes see it spelled "jip" instead, I think to avoid the racial overtones.
When I see the word gyp spelled jip, all I can think of is that person is an idiot who can't spell a word as simple as gyp.
Actually, from my understanding, "cotton pickin" is not a race-based euphemism. It has to do with the way cotton picking makes your fingers look: filthy. Most people outside the South don't realize that both black and white people used to pick cotton by hand as needed. My father was one of them.