The 5 Most Retarded Causes People Are Actually Fighting For
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#2.
Negative Portrayal of Snakes in Movies
Hey, remember Snakes on a Plane? The horrible movie/meme combination that dominated geek culture for like an entire year? Well, allegedly to protest the inaccurate portrayal of snakes in the movie (but more likely because he's always wanted to), Pennsylvanian man Jesse Rothacker covered himself in snakes. Some believe this supports the theory that Pennsylvanians will do literally anything that bears a promise of maybe not being in Pennsylvania anymore, even if that alternative is being inside a snake.
We should point out that Mr. Rothacker runs the "Forgotten Friends Reptile Sanctuary," so maybe the frustration of spending eight hours a day trying to convince people that what their home really needs is a few more snakes drove him to these extremes. Oh, and he's on record protesting that he should be allowed to carry concealed firearms in public parks.
He's right, you know. Compared to a darkened park full of dudes with guns jammed down their pants, a plane full of snakes is probably a pretty fucking safe place to be. #1.
Asperger's Pride Movement
If you don't know what Asperger's is, welcome to the internet! Asperger's is a real disorder for some, but has turned into a kind of "get out of self-improvement free" card for legions of socially awkward Pokemon fans. This latter group doesn't care about your "medical credentials," "basic common sense" or even "knowing people who actually do have Aspergers." This syndrome they read about on Wikipedia once is their winning lottery ticket to a life of never having to learn how to interact with other humans. Welcome to the Aspergian Pride movement. The Asperger's aficionados are even pushing their own "Aspergers Passport," an orange band you can wear to show support.
Yes, exactly like the yellow LiveStrong bracelet. You see, equating their struggle with that of cancer survivors is the kind of "this has to be a mental illness" assholism that marks the Asperger's sufferer. In fact, as stated on Aspergia.com's mission statement, this crippling (and easily self-diagnosed) condition actually makes the sufferer better than you. Their checklist of nerd delusion identifies Aspergia as: a) a superpower b) a mutation c) the next stage in human evolution d) the legacy of a lost utopian civilization
We only wish we were kidding about that last one. Presumably in this Aspergian wonderland the faucets ran with Mountain Dew and there were infinite moms who cooked infinite dinners who never ever sobbed in private. It isn't explicitly stated that females in this land were impressed by knowledge of Star Trek episodes rather than physical prowess, but it's pretty heavily implied. For movies that are depressing for a whole other reason check out Rick's look at 5 Awesome Movies Ruined By Last-Minute Changes. Or find out about some action stars whose careers had a less than happy ending in 5 Movie Martial Artists That Lost a Deathmatch to Dignity. |
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so... yeah... to all the "asperger's sufferers" on here: first, unless you've been diagnosed by an actual doctor specializing in these kinds of disorders, please be quiet. it would be like running around claiming to be a cancer survivor cuz you once had an undiagnosed cyst on your tit that eventually went away.
second, to the people who actually have aspergers, no one is insulting you or your disorder, just saying that "doesn't play well with others" is not a superpower.
also, the term "pride" is so overused today it's just getting stupid. we can be proud when we accomplish something. being born with some condition or another doesn't seem like an issue of pride. the problem is people take "pride" as the opposite of "shame" and run with it. should you be ashamed? hell no! should you be proud? of what?
As for # 1, that's a retarded scheme. Asperger's is a condition that doesn't make someone worse than you, let alone better (fun fact: things are more likely to get worse than they are to get better, ask Anne Fran... oh right.). It's bullshit. And yes I do have Asperger's myself.
Aspie here. I take pride in my condition, as it has created some of the greatest artists our world has ever seen: Michaelangelo, Walt Disney, and Agatha Christie, to name a few. But could you at least read the entire Wikipedia article before you go making such stupid, off-the-cuff remarks around a subject you're completely and utterly ignorant about?
I'm not asking for pity here, but I had a rough childhood due to Asperger's, and you're not helping those people who are still suffering from it. Yes, I was quite a p***y in school. Yes, I do need to get outside more often and find myself a girlfriend. I actually get offended when my mother tells me to apply for government aid. I don't need Uncle Sam to hold my hand my entire life, and I certainly don't need that wretched woman. All I want is for people to stop judging me based on such utterly meaningless criteria as the way I sit, the way I talk, and my seeming lack of eye contact. I can do my job every bit as well as the next person, and without my boss staring over my shoulder constantly.
Also, I agree with bloodyaurore's comment, and would like to add that a lot the more extreme members of the pride movement are teenagers. Many teens tend to think the world should revolve around them, regardless of what they are or aren't diagnosed with.
I was diagnosed with Asperger's back in the mid-90s, when it was still a pretty obscure diagnosis. And yes, I'm part of the movement, but it's not because I want everything handed to me on a silver platter. All I'm asking for is a little respect and understanding.
No, I don't want to get money from the government or to live off my family for the rest of my life. I'm just asking that when I go for a job interview, that you don't automatically assume I'm nervous or uninterested because of the way I stare, sit, or talk. Judge me by my qualifications, not my body language. And understand that what's "common sense" to most people may not be to me, that I might sometimes need things explained a little differently.
Also, I don't want a free pass to ramble endlessly about my interests. But I do wish for you to respect that these interests aren't going to go away, and that there is nothing wrong with having them. And if I point out an obscure bit of trivia, it's not to impress anyone - it's just something that interests me and that I think might interest you. If it doesn't, I apologize.
The bottom line is that it's all about give and take. I'll try my best to respect what makes you (un)comfortable and adapt to your communication style if you do the same for me.
And for the record, I do not think that I am better than everyone else, but I am not any worse either. Those of you who are saying that AS isn't that severe are missing the point - that's exactly what the movement is trying to say. We're not better or worse, just different, and we don't need to be "cured". Yes, I know there are some radicals out there, and they frustrate me too, but if you look for the forest through the trees you will see a lot of people who are only asking for a little respect.
Yet another Aspie here.
And I've got to say...the amount of people who actually try to use their Asperger's as an excuse is not nearly as huge an amount of people as the amount of folks bitching about people supposedly using Asperger's as an excuse.
Danowar:
I think they were referring to the people who fake Asperger's.
I normally don't do this, but this portrayal of asperger's as a "get out of self-improvement" disorder is total and complete bullshit. I have the condition (and i was diagonsed around age 10 by actual medical professionals, not "self diagnosed"), and while it's true it can cause obsessive tendencies, it has other, more difficult symptoms that i've spent years of therapy trying to overcome. it inhibits the way you function socially and can even affect judgement (in my case anyway). I'm normally not one to get pissed at internet stuff easily but this one kinda touched a nerve.
Admittedly it's nowhere near as bad as having cancer, but it's still a very tough condition to live with, and what's wrong with raising awareness? if this group does truly believe they're better than other people because they have the condition, that's a whole seperate disease called f*****g Moron Syndrome, but in real life it's a disorder that is not a laughing matter.
AnnabelAnatomy do you have Dysphraxia then? because you spelled writing wrong.
'Humans haven't reached a perfect utopia so if they care about anything other than humans it's futile and meaningless.'
Yeah, I'm not against eating lobster but I HATE that argument. Article wasn't very good punchline wise either.
FreemDeem,
Dyslexia is difficulty reading, Dysphraxia is difficulty wrighting and Dyscalculea is a difficulty with numeracy.
That said, the disorders have quite similar symptoms that just affect different parts of learning so people tend to just group them together- also sufferers tend to suffer from 2 or more of the disorders i stated above.
Read more.
you guys are all wrong the most retarded cause people fight for is at www.vhemt.org
peta.com is a f****n bullshit dude bunch of f****n hypocrites
Oh yeah also. If you had dyslexia you would struggle with reading AND writing. Are you sure you're not making this up or possibly confusing it with something else?
Covertwalrus, Aspergers has nothing to do with dyslexia.
Duh.
(I know the guy below said it but I just wanted to show support lol)
Asperger's isn't related to dyslexia...
Asperger's is like high, high functioning autism. It has nothing to do with dyslexia
While not Asbergers, I do have the related condition of Dyslexia ( Yeah, as if you hadn't guessed from the typing ), and it has been hard for me to cope with many things - the attempts to 'cure' it by beatings and suggested lobotomy in the 1970s for instance.
But I have adapted to have a huge memory, some pretty astounding reading skills even if my writing sucks when I'm tired, and to have graduated university with two degrees and held jobs of technical natures.
There are worse causes to promote, true, abnd there are far better ones as well. Probably none on this list, with the possible exception of the Snake Rights movement - those suckers might attack unwary peopel, but in India, for on example, the protect crops from rodent infestation and as a bonus prevent Bubonic Plague outbreaks.
what the f**k dude peta goes o f****n far year after year the sad part im a member but im not an extremist freak like the rest of those retards
what's ass burgers?
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I have Asperger's syndrome, and this may be one of the most appalling articles I've ever read. Basically, you are implying that people use Asperger's as an excuse to be Assholes. For the majority of my life, I have had therapy helping me "learn how to interact with other humans". So, now I hear that my condition is marked by "assholism". And guess what? I am not going to stop being proud of the efforts I've made to be a functioning member of society just because some jerk on a website depicts aspies as "social awkward pokemon fans".
Now, as for the slightly less annoying #5 story: Lobsters are typically killed by boiling them alive. Now, I don't care how primitive you think a lobster's nervous system is, pretty much every animal more advanced than a jellyfish can feel pain. If you want to dispute this, I will happily take a hatchet to your brain, then shove you into a vat of boiling water.
And note, I'm not even close to being a vegetarian. I simply believe that animals should be killed humanely.
Now please, put your time into writing sensitive intelligent articles. I suggest a list of the 5 most retarded attempts by Cracked.com writers to make fun of mental illnesses they don't suffer, and know nothing about.
Have a nice day :-)