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6 National Anthems That Will Make You Tremble With Fear

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After casting our ballots this morning, Americans are feeling something approaching national pride for the first time in many years. So we thought we'd take a closer look at the national anthem, that creepy ritual of bland patriotism.

We all know that the American national anthem tells the inspiring story of a brave flag that survives a scary night by believing in itself. But not all national anthems steal their plots from children's books. In fact, some countries aren't satisfied until their national anthem makes any child within earshot weep in terror. Here are six that take pride in their land to a whole new and insanely violent level.

#6.
Algeria - "Qassaman"/"We Pledge"

Though it pre-dates both heavy metal and rap by several decades, the Algerian national anthem's lyrics expertly incorporate the prominent cornerstones of both genres' most violent moments. Destructive lightning? Check. Gratuitous bloodshed? Check. Machine guns? Check. Being held down by the man? Word up, son.


Algerian Prime Minister Cent.

The lyrics, written in 1956 by Moufdi Zakaria, are about two "hos" shy of being a Lil' Wayne single. At the time of the writing, Zakaria was being held captive in Algiers by French colonial forces. Realizing that it was, in fact, France that was holding him and his country down, he spent his downtime penning a tune about the ass whooping his fellow countrymen would surely be dishing out sometime in the near future.

Most Awesomely Violent Lyrics

"We swear by the lightning that destroys, By the streams of generous blood being shed"

"When we spoke, none listened to us, So we have taken the noise of gunpowder as our rhythm, And the sound of machine guns as our melody"

Did They Live Up To It?

Hell yeah! Beginning with guerrilla attacks by the National Liberation Front (FLN) against military and civilian targets in November of 1954, Algeria launched a bloody war for independence from France that would last almost eight years. By the time it was done, almost one million Pied-noirs (Algerian residents of European descent) had fled the country and Algeria was free to never be fucked with by anyone ever again.

#5.
Italy - "Il Canto degli Italiani"/"The Song of the Italians"

Throughout the majority of the Italian national anthem, things sound pretty bleak. Hell, the main line in the chorus is "we are ready to die!" But Goffredo Mameli, the 20 year old poet who wrote the lyrics, clearly understood that one can only be down for so long.

Like most good national anthems, this one was written in the shadow of a looming war for independence, this time with Austria. Listening to the first few verses, you would think Mameli thought independence was a lost cause. But then, the final verse rolls around and Mameli goes from defeated poet to a Nostradamus-like teller of fortunes.

On an unrelated note, can you imagine what state our collective national anthems would be in if written by the 20-year olds of today? Booty booty booty booty bursting everywhere!

Most Awesomely Violent Lyrics

"Mercenary swords, they're feeble reeds. The Austrian eagle has already lost its plumes. The blood of Italy and the Polish blood it drank, along with the Cossack. But it burned its heart."


Burning heart= cooler imagery than star spangled banner.

Did They Live Up To It?

Sort of. Italy lost the first war for independence from Austria. And, for all intents and purposes, they lost the second war with Austria also. Hell, they basically lost the third. But thanks to a convenient alliance with Prussia, Italy eventually gained their independence. This half-assed eeking out of national independence was brought to you by the people responsible for the fucking Mafia. Go figure.

#4.
Hungary - "Himnusz/Hymn"

Unlike most of the other anthems on this list, Hungary's really has no cause to be as violent as it is. There was no war for independence on the horizon. No foreign invader was occupying their homeland. Basically, a whole bunch of nothing was going on. It would appear that overall, Hungary is just such a shitty place to live that some dude decided to ask God to help him out.


Hungary. Probably. We don't know much about geography.

That's right, this anthem is written as a direct address to God. Most national anthems implore the citizens of their grand country to take up arms and fight against oppression, transgression, whatever. Himnusz is having no part of that. Really, it's a bit unclear what the problem was at all. But whatever was up their ass, it apparently required divine intervention. It's basically the national anthem equivalent of what an unemployed, alcoholic friend might call and moan to you at 2:30 in the morning.

Most Awesomely Violent Lyrics

"No freedom's flowers return, from the spilt blood of the dead, and the tears of slavery burn, which the eyes of orphans shed."


A Hungarian orphan.

Did They Live Up To It?

Yeah, they probably did. There is no evidence that Hungary ever kicked any serious ass, but you don't write lyrics about burning orphan tears without having put up with some serious shit.


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O Fatherland, ere your children, defenseless
bend their neck beneath the yoke,
may your fields be watered with blood,
may they leave their footprints in blood.
And may your temples, palaces and towers
collapse with horrid clamor,
and their ruins continue on, saying:
Of a thousand heroes, this Fatherland was.

That's an excerpt from the Mexican Anthem... that's just downright violent...

Posted on 11/30/2008 8:40:45 PM

Actually if you want to be totally correct the Huns were not just from Hungary. It was a tribe composed of many tribe spread from Hungary to Mongolia (although the center of the empire was Panonia). That being said the Huns was originaly from China (their name was Hiong-nu)

Posted on 11/12/2008 6:17:58 AM

Seems you crackheads missed out on Denmark's "King Christian" anthem, which is the official anthem of our royal family and is still used as a national anthem on many occisions. To a stirring martial tune the text celebrates various Danish war heroes of ages gone. It contains gun-thunder, lightning, sacrifice of blood, and not least brain-splitting mayhem! About our once king Christian IV we sing: "His sword struck so heavily that the Goths' (ie. the Swedes) helmets and brains split apart". And about our naval hero Peder Tordenskjold (literally "Thunder-shield": "From Denmark Thunder-shield strikes, everyone should give themselves up to Heaven and flee!"
Finally in the last verse we sing of ourselves: "And quickly through noise and fighting and more fighting and victory lead me to my grave!"
Beat that Vietnamese!

Posted on 11/10/2008 3:16:01 AM

First minute of Who's Nailin Paylin

www.TOKILLFOR.com

Russell Brand's crude remarks to Fawlty Towers Star on BBC Radio
http://www.tokillfor.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ed1b4baf7494d10ab9c9

Posted on 11/9/2008 7:45:47 PM

"Oh and for "Hungary not having kicked ass"...their national hero is Attila, so go figure."

Where the hell did you get THAT? FYI Attila wasn't even Hungarian, 'tard, he was Hun... not Hungarian... big difference! Do your math, dude..."

You're the 'tard. Tell me where the HUNgarians and the Magyars and the Szekely people come from then. Don't even bother to 'do the math' just go read a wiki article. And stop getting your historical information from disney movies. Though Hungarians are not official direct descendants from the Hun empire, saying that the Huns have nothing to do with Hungary is like saying that Iran has nothing to do with Persia.

Posted on 11/9/2008 1:11:11 PM

http://islamoblog.blogspot.com

Posted on 11/8/2008 9:21:53 PM

To Netchibi:

Shh! Don't spoil the fun! D<

Posted on 11/8/2008 5:23:19 PM

You, the author, know nothing about Vietnamese anthem. The song still have one more verse and it's more peaceful. By the way, Vietnamese anthem had been writen at the time war still happening in Vietnam, then its lyric must be strong to get people stand up. It owns more historical value than meaning of lyric. Moreover, Vietnam is traditional country which always proud of its past, then its anthem have mission to remind everyone, every teenagers how much thier grandparents, parents, and older had sacrifice for the country.

Posted on 11/7/2008 9:53:49 AM

Best boobs clips ever! Naked News! Russell Brand dissing old men about their slutty granddaughters! Who's Nailin Paylin clips! ALL FREE!

http://www.tokillfor.com/view_video.php?viewkey=bfa4055a7d13cd430dde&page=3&viewtype=&category=mr

Posted on 11/6/2008 5:03:49 PM

Actually, it is "L'inno DI Mameli."

Posted on 11/6/2008 4:10:47 PM

The Italian national anthem is known as "L'inno dei Mameli" or "Mameli's Hymn."

The lyics can be found here:

http://www.sfiac.org/Italian%20National%20Anthem.htm

Posted on 11/6/2008 4:09:23 PM

Awesome list - the Italians and Hungarians never lived up to their anthem. They're the Vanilla Ices and MC Hammers of this group.

The rest, though, did follow through w/ some straight up gangsta s**t :D

Posted on 11/6/2008 12:39:46 PM

"No freedom's flowers return, from the spilt blood of the dead, and the tears of slavery burn, which the eyes of orphans shed." - TAKE THAT METALLICA!!

Posted on 11/6/2008 2:53:59 AM

Brilliant article, Although im still in the need of a good laugh.

Posted on 11/6/2008 12:19:30 AM

The Hungarians had a revolution were they tried to break free from soviet domination, they have a saying about, we hoped for a military intervention, we prayed for a miracle, If St Michael had descend from heaven that would be a military intervention if US tanks arrived that would have been a miracle.

Posted on 11/5/2008 8:14:29 PM

Cool article. The first time I heard a translation of the French national anthem I thought, "holy s**t they're so badass!"

Posted on 11/5/2008 5:09:33 PM

evange, they were obviously talking about the allied invasion of turkey during WWI.

Posted on 11/5/2008 3:00:30 PM

Hungary definitely used to kick serious ass. The medieval Hungarians were roaming barbarians, then almost an empire. They ruled Central Europe with an iron fist for 400 years before the Ottomans showed up.

Posted on 11/5/2008 11:16:24 AM

European Invaders? are you even vaguely aware that the turks invaded Europe less than 1000 years ago?

Posted on 11/5/2008 8:37:34 AM

The whole section about the Hungarian anthem is bullshit! Hungarian history is all about revolution, fighting for freedom and oppression, and getting rid of occupying forces all the time.

Do your research goddamit! First the Mongols, then the Osman Empire, then the Austrians, and not so long ago the Soviets... so please do your f*cking research! Hungarians have every right to shed tears of fire. The Himnusz is about how Hungarians can't find a home even in their own country because it's occupied by assholes all the time. Hungary IS freedom fighting.

Posted on 11/5/2008 6:56:39 AM

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