6 National Anthems That Will Make You Tremble With Fear
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On Independence Day, Americans are probably feeling something approaching national pride. So we thought we'd take a closer look at the national anthem, that creepy ritual of bland patriotism. We all know that the American national anthem tells the inspiring story of a brave flag that survives a scary night by believing in itself. But not all national anthems steal their plots from children's books. In fact, some countries aren't satisfied until their national anthem makes any child within earshot weep in terror. Here are six that take pride in their land to a whole new and insanely violent level. #6.
Algeria - "Qassaman"/"We Pledge"
Though it pre-dates both heavy metal and rap by several decades, the Algerian national anthem's lyrics expertly incorporate the prominent cornerstones of both genres' most violent moments. Destructive lightning? Check. Gratuitous bloodshed? Check. Machine guns? Check. Being held down by the man? Word up, son.
The lyrics, written in 1956 by Moufdi Zakaria, are about two "hos" shy of being a Lil' Wayne single. At the time of the writing, Zakaria was being held captive in Algiers by French colonial forces. Realizing that it was, in fact, France that was holding him and his country down, he spent his downtime penning a tune about the ass whooping his fellow countrymen would surely be dishing out sometime in the near future. Most Awesomely Violent Lyrics "We swear by the lightning that destroys, By the streams of generous blood being shed" "When we spoke, none listened to us, So we have taken the noise of gunpowder as our rhythm, And the sound of machine guns as our melody" Did They Live Up To It?
Hell yeah! Beginning with guerrilla attacks by the National Liberation Front (FLN) against military and civilian targets in November of 1954, Algeria launched a bloody war for independence from France that would last almost eight years. By the time it was done, almost one million Pied-noirs (Algerian residents of European descent) had fled the country and Algeria was free to never be fucked with by anyone ever again. #5.
Italy - "Il Canto degli Italiani"/"The Song of the Italians"
Throughout the majority of the Italian national anthem, things sound pretty bleak. Hell, the main line in the chorus is "we are ready to die!" But Goffredo Mameli, the 20 year old poet who wrote the lyrics, clearly understood that one can only be down for so long.
Like most good national anthems, this one was written in the shadow of a looming war for independence, this time with Austria. Listening to the first few verses, you would think Mameli thought independence was a lost cause. But then, the final verse rolls around and Mameli goes from defeated poet to a Nostradamus-like teller of fortunes. On an unrelated note, can you imagine what state our collective national anthems would be in if written by the 20-year olds of today? Booty booty booty booty bursting everywhere! Most Awesomely Violent Lyrics "Mercenary swords, they're feeble reeds. The Austrian eagle has already lost its plumes. The blood of Italy and the Polish blood it drank, along with the Cossack. But it burned its heart."
Did They Live Up To It? Sort of. Italy lost the first war for independence from Austria. And, for all intents and purposes, they lost the second war with Austria also. Hell, they basically lost the third. But thanks to a convenient alliance with Prussia, Italy eventually gained their independence. This half-assed eeking out of national independence was brought to you by the people responsible for the fucking Mafia. Go figure. #4.
Hungary - "Himnusz/Hymn"
Unlike most of the other anthems on this list, Hungary's really has no cause to be as violent as it is. There was no war for independence on the horizon. No foreign invader was occupying their homeland. Basically, a whole bunch of nothing was going on. It would appear that overall, Hungary is just such a shitty place to live that some dude decided to ask God to help him out.
That's right, this anthem is written as a direct address to God. Most national anthems implore the citizens of their grand country to take up arms and fight against oppression, transgression, whatever. Himnusz is having no part of that. Really, it's a bit unclear what the problem was at all. But whatever was up their ass, it apparently required divine intervention. It's basically the national anthem equivalent of what an unemployed, alcoholic friend might call and moan to you at 2:30 in the morning. Most Awesomely Violent Lyrics "No freedom's flowers return, from the spilt blood of the dead, and the tears of slavery burn, which the eyes of orphans shed."
Did They Live Up To It? Yeah, they probably did. There is no evidence that Hungary ever kicked any serious ass, but you don't write lyrics about burning orphan tears without having put up with some serious shit. |
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Mexican anthem should be checked up to. It has many "bloody" lyrics even more than the Algerian one
i can only disagree of the hungarian caus the country was enslaved by the turk i think or the germans? dam i joust cant remmeber when this song was writen i know the country was at war or alredy enslaved
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Well, I'm still happy with my country's anthem. Canada doesn't go around talking about how we will f**k you up.
Just that if you start s**t here, every god damn person in the country is going to end it.
the picture from the Hungary one is from Chechnya...
@feralboy12 Corsica was French. It was like Hawaii in 1947. Joan of Arc was French. The fact that she was female is irrelevent. Also, if their armies were unsuccessful, the States would be flying the Union Jack right now.
Yeah, the French were badass during the French revolution. They gave themselves an ass-kicking they'll never forget.
Idiom of French history: "France's armies are only successful when led by someone other than a Frenchman." Examples include Napoleon, a Corsican, and Joan of Arc, a schizophrenic teenage girl.
@ DaveSolar and @ Hurm
Ok no biggie, I see your point(s).
The last verse in our (British) anthem is a bit dosgy - it's all about murdering the Scottish...
By the way, French anthems lyrics were changed in order to be more politcally correct, ruin all the fun if you ask me, nothing brightens your day like a 10 year old child who sing about a new and inventive way to irrigate our fields
@DaveSolar,
OK, maybe I/we took this joke too seriously, sorry for that - but still, it was an offending one. Hungary may be a sh... khmm... funny place now, but we had influence on European history on a great scale. (And American too - as you probably don't know, Hungarian was practically the work language of the Manhattan Project)
The wonders of internet - an a*****e dude thinks he is funny, and the crowd goes crazy.
Go Cracked, gogogo! That will solve world hunger!
@Hurm, @acid-rain, @SalaKretsu, @DemonFire,
This is why there is no such thing as world-m***********g-peace.
It's because of people who take s**t like this too seriously.
Guys, it's f*****g comedy. Somebody has to be the butt of the joke at somepoint.
And as for people making generalizations about citizens of countries, you are a troll. Get the f**k out of the comments of a comedic article. You people need to know how to take a joke. f*****g seriously.
And as for Hurm, don't try to break things down, we're not retarded, and you're no help.
@acid-rain The reality is, in any situation, a member of a nation only really cares about his/her nation.
@SalaKrestu Yes, obviously Americans really care what the rest of the world thinks about them. (Sarcasm is difficult to convey over the Internet) It's not like Cracked writers represent what America thinks. So don't blame America for what one writer thought would be a good comedic part to an article. I believe he did this well, and why the f**k do you care so much about Hungary?
@ Hurm Bullcrap! I am not hungarian but even I felt the article pushed the joke too far. Americans spit on everything and everyone that isn't american and then complain and whine when the rest of the world doesn't love them. Morons.
@Hurm
This stands for every country and every nation. Everyone who cares for the USA is either an American or someone attacked by them...
@Demonfire
Calm the hell down.
Just because Hungary was the butt of the joke doesn't mean you have to complain about.
You, my friend, need to get the centipedes out of your vagina.
And in reality, only Hungarians care about Hungary.
"Hungary. Probably. We don't know much about geography." -A beautiful piece of s**t. Dont you see the sheer idiotism behind the quoted words?
"Um, our memory is a little hazy, but yes, we believe at some point they may have." -Not your memory is the thing to be hazy. You are f*****g lazy to read up and back your f*****g story with FACTS. You fail at READING history and hell, using GOOGLE! How the hell are you authorized to write such half-assed articles ANYWHERE?! Shame on you.
Since I particularly feel offended by the article (Hungary again) please allow me to share with you the story behind the noon bell in Chatolic churches:
During the Siege of Belgrade in 1456, Hungarian noblemen John Hunyadi (leader of the Hungarian royal army) and Mihály Szilágyi (Captain of the castle of Nándorfehérvár/ Belgrade) defended the city against the onslaught of the Ottoman Sultan Mehmed II. The siege finished with a great glorious Hungarian victory. During the siege, Pope Callixtus III ordered the bells of every church to be rung every day at noon, as a call for believers to pray for the defenders of the city. However, in many countries (like England and Spanish Kingdoms), news of the victory arrived before the order, and the ringing of the church bells at noon thus transformed into a commemoration of the victory. The Pope didn't withdraw the order, and Catholic churches still ring the noon bell to this day.
But yeah, we don't have a mentionworthy history. At all.
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I'm Vietnamese and I do think our national anthem sucks. Blood and army, and guns and dead bodies all over the glory road !! Stupid lyric, but in the war time, this anthem was great. I mean when you think about dead bodies in the road, you think you are some kind of Rambo and shoot like a m**********r... (sorry about my bad English :) )