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A lot of you are probably reading this at work and despite that, a lot of you are probably also drunk. That's because most of us have jobs where, if you maybe screw up here and there, it's not the end of the world. Or at least that's what we'd like to think. It turns out some of the biggest, costliest disasters have resulted from some random employee making a single tiny mistake. Such as ... #5.
One Leaked File Nearly Brings Down AOL
Whoops ...
But don't fret, the user names weren't listed and AOL officials quickly realized the mistake and took the file down on Monday, the next business day.
Really, What's the Worst That Could Happen?
See, despite the absence of user names, a number of people had unknowingly identified themselves by way of "ego searches." That means that, along with searches for pleasant topics like rape, murder, committing rape and murder, hiding rape and murder, and Clay Aiken CDs, they also searched for their own names, addresses and social security numbers. Within days, The New York Times had released, with consent, the name of a user who they tracked down by cross-checking search keywords with phone books and other public information. After a few weeks, AOL had not only fired the researcher responsible for the leak, but also his supervisor and Chief Technology Officer Maureen Govern. All because of one click of the mouse.
As a bizarre postscript to all of this, one of the users identified in the file only by number ("User 927") became internet famous for having basically the creepiest search habits imaginable. Searches included "human mold," "dog sex," "child porn," "Disney Beauty and the Beast Porn" and, most frighteningly, "'Sugar, We're Going Down' by Fallout Boy." No, really. Well, recently, a stage production premiered, based on their life, called User 927. #4.
One Switch Leaves New York City in the Dark
On the night of July 13, 1977, a system operator sat in New York City's ConEdison electric facility, probably reading a comic book and wishing the internet had been invented. Then, lightning struck. Three times. It nearly crippled the facility. To make things worse, neighboring facilities then opened their connections to the ConEd system to keep their own from overloading. The details are technical, but let's just say at that point, the system was going to be fucked unless somebody took action. But no worries, our trusty system operator was on duty. And all he needed to do was flip a few switches and disaster would be averted. What could go wrong?
Whoops ...
Really, What's the Worst That Could Happen?
In short order, the raucous, block party-like atmosphere in the streets turned into violent looting. Fires were started, store windows were smashed, electronics were stolen (albeit not used for some time) and the fucking Yankees were well on their way to another World Series title. Son of a bitch.
After all was said and done, 1,616 stores were damaged, 1,037 fires were set, and 3,776 arrests were made. A Congressional study estimated the total damage to the New York City area at $300 million. Also, as a bizarre side effect: hip-hop was born. Seriously. The looting apparently resulted in the first access to DJ equipment for poor inner city youths, launching the movement. In the aftermath of the blackout, ConEdison implemented changes to make sure the same problem never happened again (which it totally did in 2003). We're assuming this involved something along the lines of a few sequentially ordered labels above those switches. #3.
The Fatal Four Microns in the Hubble Telescope
The Hubble Telescope was initially conceived and budgeted for in the '70s and planned for launch in 1983. Various mishaps, not the least of which being the Challenger disaster, delayed the project for years. When it launched in 1990, scientists expected the Hubble to take its place among NASA's "great observatories," placing it in the company of, among others, the Compton Gamma Ray Observatory.
The Hubble was expected to deliver some pretty kick-ass images thanks to its ability to capture those images with little to no back light (as you'd get with an earthbound telescope). Sounds like a huge task, but the Hubble was equipped with one of the most powerful mirrors ever built. A team of the best engineers in the world gathered to build that mirror, working 12-hour days for five straight years, grinding the mirror with equipment that would make sure it was perfect to within a millionth of an inch.
Whoops ...
Unknown to Lou, a microscopic chip of paint flecked off a measuring rod that was supposed to make sure the mirror was the right shape. It started giving back false readings as a result, and the mirror wound up being off by four microns.
That was their mistake. Four microns. Twenty-five times smaller than the width of a human fucking hair. Smaller than a mosquito's flaccid penis.
Really, What's the Worst That Could Happen?
Of course the real problem was that by the time they discovered the flaw, the damned thing was already out in space. So say goodbye to a few billion more dollars, which is what it cost for a series of Space Shuttle missions to fix the thing's mirror (the repairs got so costly that there was debate as to whether it wouldn't be better to just build a new one). We're surprised they didn't just strap Lou Montagnino to a rocket and send him up there with some really fine grit sandpaper in his hand. |
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the metric system is the future bitches.
Hip-hop was not created in 1977! It was created years before the blackout in N.Y.C. M.C. Kool Herc was scratching and mixing beats in 1973. Good job of doing your research, jackasses!
One important thing that you guys forgot was that the mars thingie was broken by optimus prime...
Oh god there's porn of EVERYTHING.Its horrible.
Illyria, there's Lion King porn? Whut? I can only imagine lions with huge dicks humping. ;-;
Truthiness, there is no end to the disney porn out there. Beauty and the Beast, Little Mermaid, Lion king, I've seen it all. *shudders*
Also, for some reason, I still talk to my friend who showed all this to me.
she is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site--- http:U k w e a l t h y m e n.c o m ---last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that
site.Is she single again now?
Haha. "We like to think there was some lone intern looking at the readouts and upon noticing something odd felt the need to ask his supervisor if they were in metric or American then thought it was a stupid question and let the thing go"
I've known that feeling, lol.
I thought I have heard of everything but until now I had no idea there was such a thing as "Beauty And The Beast porn". Must be some weird porn fetish niche market I've never heard of.
Anyone seen the last images of the Russian Mars probe, Phobos? just before the link was cut, something f*****g huge casts a shadow on said Martian moon...then, blip,
loss of signal. I'm not saying it was aliens, but what else could it have been? Bit of a strange coincidence...huge shadow on Phobos that wasn't there a moment ago, then the probe just...well, stops working. Where's Carl Sagan when you need something extremely strange smugly debunked? What? Dead? Oh.
I was stationed in Guam for 2 years. I was a security forces member, and I had to guard those B2 bombers nearly every day for 6 months. Those maint. crews are usually spot the f**k on, so this mistake is something of a shock.
I've been inside those things, theyre pretty cool, albiet smaller than you think.
1.4 Billion Dollar PLane? Dude, I have like, 4 of those in my garage :P
banzzzaaaaiiiiii!!!
1 billion dolars for plane!
Flaccid Penis, Flaccid Penis!!!!!!
"Smaller than a mosquito's flaccid penis." I'm impressed you were able to fill in a dick joke when talking about perfecting a mirror. Hats off to cracked.
Yeah. I can totaly relat to these. I deql with catastrophies all the time. Don't you? You should rly cehck out www.personaltragedies.cc
@Speicus:
Are you still going on about that? Move on!
@argel:
What use is Rankine when we've already got Kelvin?
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There is not porn of everything, I know. I can't find non-Gothic/non-loli/small breast/ just normal female stereotypical animated angel porn for anything much less one with lesbian foot jobs.