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#3.
The Meng Brothers Eat Coal For Breakfast
Who were they?
How They Stared Down Death:
After the mines collapsed, a rescue team was sent in to try and dig Meng and his brother out, but then quickly gave up. Their fellow miners then gave it a try, and were promptly arrested for illegal mining, presumably on the basis they could accidentally dig up some coal along with the two human beings trapped under it.
So, trapped underground with no food or water and a system too retarded to save them, everyone gave up hope. The Mengs' relatives even conducted burial rites at the mine. The brothers, however, were still alive. Realizing the rescue effort wasn't coming, the brothers started digging themselves out. Armed with only one pickaxe and their bare hands, they tunneled their way through 66 feet of coal. In between making jokes about each other's wives and drinking their own urine, they also tried chomping on some coal to take the edge off their hunger. According to Meng, coal tastes great when you're starving to death. Otherwise it tastes like ass. Once they pulled themselves to the surface, Meng Xianchen and Meng Xianyou gave Death the double bird salute and gave the officials who called off the rescue a hard stare. Then they went to the hospital, where Meng Xianchen said he crapped coal for a few days.
#2.
Brent Case Has Bear-Proof Skin
Who was he?
How He Stared Down Death:
Brent was carrying an ax at the time, but that probably doesn't help a lot against a bear unless it's the kind of ax that shoots shotgun shells. Brent, knowing better, decided to play dead. Unfortunately the bear wasn't looking for a fair fight and started munching on Brent's skull. At one point he thought the bear was actually eating his brain. While this may not have been true, from the picture below you can't blame him for thinking this.
It should be noted that playing dead still probably saved his life, as bears typically won't eat an already-dead victim (we're not sure why, but we think it's considered dishonorable according to the code all bears live by). Regardless, with his scalp hanging in huge flaps from his skull and bleeding heavily, Brent managed to get up and go for help. He got back to his car and drove 15 miles, covered in blood and bear bites. Death could only stand on the side of the road and shake its fist. #1.
Alexis Goggins, Invincible Girl
How She Stared Down Death:
It started when some lowlife kidnapped Alexis and her mom (OK, the lowlife was the mom's boyfriend). The mother tried to stall the bad guy and managed to call 911, but the cops said they couldn't send anyone. Apparently they were all busy with more fucked up situations than a man holding a child hostage at gunpoint.
It was at this point that the gunman decided he should stamp his passport into hell and started shooting. Two bullets struck the mother before little Alexis dove between them, begging the shooter to stop. Without hesitation, he shot six times, little Alexis taking the bullets that would have killed her mother. By this time the cops arrived, as they figured things were getting really serious because now someone was actually shooting.
Alexis thought about dying for a second then decided she still had some shit to do. Death could only watch as she grabbed her stuff and headed back to the land of the living, despite some serious injuries that would have killed most of us twice and some of us three times. This would be jaw-droppingly impressive for a 250-pound Marine combat vet, let alone a seven-year-old girl. And while we would like to cling to our original theory that she's actually an immortal Highlander, the truth is this seven-year-old girl is simply more man than we'll ever be. For a list of names suitable for the seven people you just read about check out The 9 Manliest Names in the World or for a look at what these people might be like if they were better at science, read about The 6 Most Badass Stunts Ever Pulled in the Name of Science. And don't miss our look at The Worst Drinking Game Ever (NSFW). |
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im pretty sure this story is actually old. go to http://stuffididlastnight.com for full details
ok.Raiden from MGS4. sure, hes not real, and he sucked in 2, but in 4 he cheated death, kicked it in the nuts, fucked its mother, gloating about it, and then snapped its back, right before shooting out its kneecaps.
I can picture it now: "after being crushed by a couple tons of debris, he broke his shoulder to give him enough room to reach his sword and cut off his arm at the shoulder he just shattered, allowing him to escape from the debris. Why? so he could save an old man from an (un)timely death by submarine. so what did he do after getting out? why he stopped a submarine from plowing over the old man. when he started to slip he took his sword and stabbed it through his own foot so he wouldnt move. this submarine ordeal took his second arm. but wait, hes not dead yet. oh no, he has to save the old man in another cutscene in which he fights off about 10 armoured chicks with guns only weilding a sword in his mouth."
Hey I vote for Beck Wethers too. Don't forget the part where he went freakin' BLIND on top of Everest before all that other stuff. Still, I'd put the Invincible Girl first every time.
How the hell is number 7 all the way back at number 7? That's pretty goddamn intense.
mmmmmm if only someone could actually swim the whole 562km of the english channel that would be badass.
I think Beck Weathers a mountaineer from Texas deserves 3rd or 2nd place. After getting caught in a blizzard near the top of Mount Everest Beck fell down and was presumed dead by the people who found him lying in the freezing cold. They put him in a tent and expected him to die in a -50 cold. Beck however was alive and after nearly a day in that state he made his way down to the camp and the rest of his team. Beck survived but lost his nose and fingers along with his right arm. It doesn't sound too impressive but he was without food and water for almost two days but still went down 1/4 of the freaking Everest whilst probably suffocating from thin air and most of his face pretty much frozen. To me it hardly sounds human.
My neighbours dad was captured by nazis in WWII i France, he was taken to a prison where he was supposed to be executed the day after. He managed to escape through a tiny winow, after that he stole a bike, got shot in the neck by the nazis, managed to escape and the he swam the English channel with a bullet wound in his neck, all the way to England. He lived for 45 more years still with the bullet in his neck. Also his wife survived Auswitch.
meh, the "best one was a little dissapointing. I heard about an army marine that took 17 shots and didn't die...though the invincible girl one truly deserves the top place
This list ROCKED. ;)
Human Being are remarkably hard to kill.
This reminds me of that Australian dude, who survived bein attacked by a Great White shark by punching it in the eye. It had him by the leg and was draggin him under water when he started fightin back with his bare fists. Nice touch with the eye. Good thinking.
Jeez, death's balls have been obliterated.
This one time in the mountains of Michoacan, I tumbled down a steep mountain for 3 days. I survived by ingesting peyote everyday out of my little leather pouch, and it was the only thing that kept me tumbling.
When we were in chainsaw training, we were told about a dude who fell a tree wrong and got his leg trapped under a twenty-ton ponderosa pine. He cut it off. With a pocket knife. Then he crawled a mile and a half to a farmhouse and asked if they wouldn't mind calling 911.
you kick ass Thompson U.S.A
He wasn't entirely alone. He had all those tasty sharks. :)
i felt sad for Poon Lim.. being left alone for 133 days would be so depressing.. :(
I LIKE CHEESE!
Some fact checking wouldn't hurt you rockin2the70s... Black Mamba's certainly are one of the most venomous snakes in the world, but are not the most venomous. The Inland Taipan (or fierce snake is) is.
As for the other flaws in your story, snake venom is carried through the lymphatic system, not the blood stream, so a tourniquet would not have saved the person, just caused tissue death if he'd survived the snake bite, which he wouldn't have, because he failed to apply a pressure immobilisation bandage!
Lobster rights? Good one!
Pot makes you a bloodthirsty homosexual pervert.
Take that, James Blunt!
They died like they lived: idiots.
Apparently, science likes sex as much as Cracked.
We know because people tried.
There's such a thing as wanting it too badly.
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quietrage
for the first story, it was actually a yugoslavian airline. serbia wasnt a country yet