| Featured |
|
#3.
James Bond from Casino Royale
For years, people who wanted to see 007 in action had to put up with plots that hinged on ridiculous things like invisible cars, laser beam satellites, and Madonna still being considered a sex symbol. This installment expunged the implausibility that plagued previous Bond films, establishing Bond as a grounded, conflicted character who just so happens to be hired by the government to play a friendly game of cards with terrorist masterminds instead of, you know, killing them.
So What's the Problem? Bond has never been the most inconspicuous spy, but we don't think that he's ever wantonly killed innocent bystanders before. During the opening chase scene, the villain that Bond chases carefully flips and pivots to avoid civilians, while Bond rams into them, knocking one off of a tall girder, presumably to his death. (This also results in a huge explosion. Why? Because it's a Bond movie, that's why.) The terrorist takes refuge in a foreign embassy, so Bond is forced by international law to allow him to temporarily escape and attempt to negotiate his transfer into British custody.
All of this innocent loss of life makes even less sense when you realize it's all so that the British government doesn't have to worry about bailing Bond out of a foreign jail, like they effortlessly do later on in the film. Interestingly enough, Bond's superiors seem more concerned about him killing a suspected terrorist than about nearly starting World War III. #2.
The Autobots from Transformers
Just as in the superhero movies, we knew who to root for before we walked into the theater. Autobots good, Decepticons bad. Besides, we probably would have rooted for the freaking Go-Bots if their appearance saved us from having to watch Shia Labeouf stutter for two and a half hours. So What's the Problem? The Autobots, in an attempt to prevent the evil Decepticons from obtaining an artifact that will grant them unlimited power, decide to take it away from a well-guarded military base and bring it somewhere safer, namely the center of a crowded city.
While the resulting robot brawl is pure awesome to watch, the enjoyment factor would be significantly less for the people in the city, suffering devastation on a scale larger than most natural disasters. There are few situations more emotionally conflicted and wrenching than seeing a super awesome giant robot knock a building over on top of your mom. To make matters worse, the decision to bring the Deus Ex Machina cube into the city causes a group of machines to come alive and attack their human masters.
Since their fate was never addressed in the film, we have to assume that these killer robots decided to wait for the perfect moment to strike while disguising themselves as blenders, or toasters, or THE VERY COMPUTER THAT YOU'RE USING TO READ THIS RIGHT NOW. Perhaps most disturbing, the other characters act as though none of this genocide ever occurred. They pause for a moment to mourn one robot with three lines, two of which are incredibly racist, but the hundreds of humans who were trampled beneath their feet don't even get a mention. For comparison's sake, the film spends about 10 minutes focusing on the destruction of Shia's mother's lawn. #1.
V from V for Vendetta
In this adaptation of Alan Moore's classic graphic novel, the filmmakers chose to portray the villains in an even more negative light, removing all of that pesky "moral ambiguity" business that made the comic V so hard to root for. The film is pure freedom vs. fascism, dagger-throwing fun, right? So What's the Problem? Yes, for the second time we demonstrate that there is no profession more dangerous than being a background character in a Wachowski brothers movie. There's a real good chance that not only will you be killed to serve the hero's purpose, but your death will go pretty much unacknowledged. In the film, the anarchist revolutionary V incites the population of Britain to don his mask and rise up against the government, because nothing captures the spirit of anarchy better than a mob of people in identical uniforms unquestioningly obeying one man.
Eventually V destroys parliament, and the people of Britain celebrate their freedom. It's all extremely inspiring, which distracts from the fact that V didn't actually have a plan for dealing with the power struggle that will invariably occur from the vacuum that the government left behind. But that's OK too, because as we all know, insurgent uprisings that occur in the aftermath of the collapse of a dictatorship have a habit of just sorting themselves out. Again, you can maybe justify the widespread rioting and violence based on the premise that, like in The Matrix, it's all for the greater good. What cannot be explained is how V, when it comes time to convert a young girl to his way of thinking, kidnaps and tortures her to make his point. For the greater good, of course.
You know, we have to wonder if a government with V in charge wouldn't be every bit as shitty as the one he was trying to overthrow. From the citizen's perspective, it'd probably be a matter of choosing whether you wanted to get shot for the greater good, or stabbed with a throwing knife. If you liked that, check out Rick's look at 5 Awesome Movies Ruined by Last Minute Changes. And be sure to check out our inside look at the video game developers conference that came up with all those insane early video game ideas. |
|
|
i f*****g love The Matrix movies and V For Vendetta.. xD
...and in the matrix, it doesn't really matter how much ammo Neo wastes because none of it really exists anyway. that's basically the matrix movies' excuse for everything: it's in the matrix, so it isn't real, so the impossible/crazy thing that just happened actually can happen/makes sense.
(madamadam, the woman in the red dress scene is a completely fake matrix that they control. they can't control the real matrix, so they can't really freeze agents.)
ripley did take a portion of the planet but is specified prior to the crash landing that it is an unihabitated section of the planet by the ships computer and Ripley and Call
The one about V was pretty s**t. Why the f**k was it number one when he killed a handful of people and Ripley took out a chunk of the f*****g planet? bravo Rick.
Naw, man. Watch the movie again. It's the parkour guy that's kicking people off of buildings. He even shoots a couple of construction workers. Bond's not even on the building yet when the guy gets kicked off.
There's a new movement to enable furries to acquire second languages. Find out at http://www.zhongwenred.com
@ Matrix guys: The premise, as explained by Donny, is that everyone is plugged into the Matrix, the same Matrix, not a different Matrix for each being.
Also, regarding "The Woman In The Red Dress" - in this scene, Neo & Morpheus are inside a training program which simulates the Matrix, not the Matrix itself (the "Jump" scene and the "Kung Fu" scene are also set inside training programs). Didn't it strike you as odd that they kept running from the agents when they could simply freeze them?
So yes, Neo killed lots of people.
Oh yeah, they didn't "generate a helicopter", they commandeered it from a SWAT-esque team on the rooftop. Trinity did instantly download the skills to fly it, though - which is just as ridiculous.
Go to Plusmeet.com so you can see me try to attempt sexual acts. I love being such a fat whore. I LOVE DONUTS
Neo is my favorite! I am a lonely sexy big beauty and I hope to find a nice guy like Neo. Am now seeking my Mr. Right at PlusMeet.c o m______, where many big beautiful women, big boobs women, big booty women and big manful guys meet and seek fun&love together!
Goddamn, if everyone in the matrix was a simulation they wouldn't be able to f*****g congregate together like they did when they went out in teams and blew s**t up. The Matrix followed the theory that everything and everyone is connected, they just made it electronic instead of spiritual.
@Alex- just search "The Woman In The Red Dress" on youtube. Here's Morpheus' speech from the scene:
"The matrix is a system, Neo. That system is our enemy.
But when you're inside, look around, what do you see?
Businessmen, teachers, lawyers, carpenters,
the very minds of the people we are trying to save. But until we do these same people are still a part of that system and that makes them our enemy.
You have to understand that most of these people are not ready to be unplugged.
And many of them are so inert, so hopelessly dependent on the system that they will fight to protect it."
@DonnyBrook we don't know for sure if they're real people hooked up or simulations.. remember the woman in the red dress? she was a simulation so why couldn't the security guards be? but just saying its a possibility because we don't know if they're real people either
In case you didn't notice, the villian from the chase scene in Casino Royale actually pulls out a pistol and shoots two of the workers on the building that's being built....so I wouldn't say he was that "careful" and tried to "avoid civilians."
If you watched the part of the fantastic four that you are talking about first with the truck driver, he opens the door and pulls the driver out after he stops the truck.
@ tony_47. You, my man, don't grasp the concept of "THE MATRIX". If there was a different simulation for every person, the movie would be called "The Matrices". I feel bad that you've been running around for nearly a decade being wrong about a movie and thinking no one else "gets it".
They say that a government with V in charge would be just as bad as the government that already existed. Exactly. Wasn't that the whole point? That was why V had to die--so he wouldn't be tempted by power to use his influence to "take over" and become the new leader. The idea wasn't for V to take over, but for leadership itself to be abolished...
What about Superman? I heard from a guy I work with that his friend said Superman hates minorities. Which when you think about it, is everyone on Earth.
i think the rationale for the matrix movie (or at least the way i saw it) was that these people were never really "alive" in the true sense of the word, so it was okay to let them go. of course, i think like the guy from the e-street bands thinks -- if it's real to the brain, then what is the difference? .
.
good pick with the alien resurrection movie, though. that was always something that bugged me. sure, they killed 3-4 "aliens" onboard the ship, but did you see the size of that explosion? the cloud itself was about half the size of africa. that's not "take out a few bystanders", that's like global catastrophe! i guess they didn't see "armageddon" or "deep impact"....
True that, philroco. The thing is, it's a matter of life and death for Neo and his posse. If they didn't kill the security guards, they would've turned into agents and gotten their s**t kicked.
Also, as was already said... in Alien Resurrection, planet Earth is described as a cesspool. I'm assuming this means that people of any value no longer live there. Earth is full of criminals and murderers. They're doing the solar system a favor by crashing a huge ship into Earth.
If that's true, how do they find other people and how do they get in there together? It would be like entering someone else's dream. I'm not buying that explanation. He was killing real people.
Hint: Utter witticism.
What would James Bond be without the corny puns? A lot better, actually.
There is nothing sadder than a kung fu star in decline.
Yes, they blow up stuff. But, they do it with a message.
Apparently, science likes sex as much as Cracked.
Lobster rights? Good one!
We know because people tried.
Pot makes you a bloodthirsty homosexual pervert.
Since the dawn of time, man has sought ever-easier means of communicating. Smoke signals gave way to the Pony Express. Then came telegrams, then singing telegrams, and eventually the naked ones we a ...
How To Train An Army of Animals To Do Your Bidding
CNN Thinks Gift Cards Are Complicated (or Contest Winners, Rankings and preparing for the end)
Mysticnyx06
they had to move the All Spark out of the military base (hoover dam) because the idiots put Megatron in the same base... and when Megatron started to defrost they had to move the All Spark so he couldn't get it. Plus they're robots... I'm sure even though they claim to be there to save the world, a few people getting killed by a soda machine really wasn't a big deal.