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Every time a new console comes out, there's a flood of accessories made to help people get the most out of their gaming session. Customized colors, shapes, decals for the style conscious, game genies for those who like to play a game on God Mode and comfort grips for the endurance gamer. Then there are accessories made by companies that are clearly run by mad scientists. #6.
The Wii Car Adapter
The idea:
The Reality:
Don't get us wrong, setting up a small screen hooked up to a PlayStation 3 or an Xbox 360 in your SUV or minivan can be a great way to pass the time on a long trip. If you're the kid you won't get bored and start whining, and if you're the parent who won't have thoughts about late-age adoption or vasectomies. But then we have the Wii, a machine based entirely on the concept of flailing your arms around while you play. Only now it's confined to the cozy backseat where you're three inches away from the passenger beside you (instead of the recommended three feet for some Wii games) and within arm's reach of the driver's head. Yes, to play the Wii in your car is to laugh in the face of death. In a couple of years, we won't see teenagers drag racing, they'll be pairing up and playing cross-car matches of Wii tennis. #5.
The Sega Activator (For The Sega Genesis)
The idea:
The Reality:
Well, no. Instead of button mashing you had to move your arms into one of the eight quadrants that made up the activator. So to do Sub-Zero's fatality instead of pressing Forward, Down, Forward, A, you just had to throw a punch exactly in front of you, then one exactly behind you, another in front, and then one more punch behind you on either side.
Even if you did move your arm at the right time and in the right area you had to deal with your ceiling screwing everything up. Yes, if you didn't have a low, flat ceiling without ceiling fan and no ceiling lights/chandelier, then you couldn't use the Activator because all the magical infrared beams would get distorted. The instructional video also warns against using it with mirrored ceilings. Hell, Sega, that eliminates every room in our house! We suppose you've got something against leather curtains and satin leopard-skin sheets, too? #4.
AlphaGrip AG-5 PC Gaming and Text Entry Controller
The idea:
The Reality:
The 42-key design was to allow all 10 fingers to be in use at the same time. Apparently the makers felt that your pinky finger was getting left out of all the fun. The makers also couldn't think of 42 functions for the buttons so 6 of the buttons are SHIFT keys. There is a capital-shift, punctuation-shift and number-shift on both the left and right sides of the controller (don't worry, they didn't forget caps lock). The creators obviously know that when you've just died on screen you can never find that shift key fast enough to type out OMG H@XoRz!!!! If you count the shift-key combos, you can do 700 different functions, none of which will help you get a girlfriend. |
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I ah…I have that Klingon version of Hamlet >.>
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The Wizard was awesome
I'm surprised Cracked hasn't written more about it
The AlphaGrip reminds me of a sex toy I bought my wife once.
Playing NES games with the PowerGlove was kind of similar to attempting to play MarioBros with the Duck Hunt gun ... and we'd already discovered that playing MarioBros with the Duck Hunt gun was hilarious, so why did we need to buy something else to provide the same entertainment?
I'm guessing when the kids got bored of the R.O.B. in the game, they were just learning to masturbate and er......
Some of those are just crazy. I'm surprised 'Virtual Boy' didn't make the list. A friend of still has one, but hasn't played since he was a kid because it gave him seizures!
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All I had was the gun For Nintendo's Duck Hunt : (
If the next microsoft console comes bundled with Summer Glau's Terminator "Cameron", I will most definitly pick it up. Think about it, if she has the red rings of death, she will REALLY do anything! except the laundry.
Sweet YouthCounsler....and by NPC, i have to assume you mean completely playable. Because he is. Good job on the research.
My commodore 64 had no cool accessories.
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R.O.B shows up as a NPC in Super Smash Bros: Brawl
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They've actually made a PowerGlove for the Wii.
This should be interesting.
Haha...oh wow. Mindlink and Computer controller ftw! Seriously I laughed out loud by myself over the Mindlink for a solid 5 minutes of pure laughter.
Yes, Da_Nuke is right.
One problem:
The Wii is a sexy console, the Wiimote a sexy controller.
The Powerglove is a piece of s**t.
Well, actually, the Power Glove wasn't that bad... at least it was kinda like the predecessor of the Wiimote!
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Is it just me or does anyone else get the slightly creepy feeling that Nintendo's "Everything else is just child's play" slogan is uncomfortably close to "Everything else is just a toy" from Small Soldiers? Also, notice how the writing on the buttons of the power glove will be upside down for whoever is playing...
It was a clever idea that didn't have a hope of working back in '89. Only now is technology reaching the point where this could be good...