The 10 Most Terrifying Video Game Enemies of All Time
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Since the Golden Age of Atari, there have been video game enemies who are so unpleasant that they made us question the existence of a higher power. We at Cracked pay tribute to the rogues' galleries of yesteryear with this list of the 10 most trouser-soiling bad guys in gaming history. Some of these foes may not seem scary by today's standards, but in their heyday, all of them taught us how to swear, hit the reset button, and, most importantly, cry. #10.
The Wallmasters from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Historically, video game players and enemies have agreed to disagree. We'll kill them and they'll kill us. It's a brutal social contract, but it's worked for the last 30 years. The Wallmasters flipped this script on us. Most bad guys are courteous enough to kill us as quickly as possible. Not these giant, zombie phalanges--they shanghaied Link back to the dungeon entrance, thus turning our adventure into a boring, repetitive slog and giving us a chance to meditate on all the free time we were spending pretending to be a fey elf dressed in a green camisole and tights. #9.
The Poltergeist from Splatterhouse
During the early '90s home console boom, nothing was creepier than Splatterhouse for the Turbografx-16. Sure, the game's AI was laughably primitive (the enemies' favorite strategy was to rush at you in a single-file line like undead conga dancers), but its revolutionary gory graphics made up for it. Look at those screenshots. If this was 1990, you'd totally be losing your shit right now. The game's most memorable boss was also its least bloody. In Level 2, the player confronted an angry poltergeist.
The spirit's weapons were antique chairs, silverware and a tasteful art deco tapestry (the monsters of Splatterhouse apparently shopped at Pottery Barn). Once you beat this evil bric-a-brac, the poltergeist retreated and, as a Hail-Mary "get bent," dropped the goddamn chandelier on you. Getting killed by that chandelier is an embarrassing experience you'll never forget, just like the day you lost your virginity. #8.
The Dog from Paperboy
Paperboy was a 1988 Nintendo classic about a plucky paperboy and an entire neighborhood that inexplicably wanted to murder him. The game never explained why and we were too weirded out to ask. Unsurprisingly, your main nemesis was a yapping canine. Avoiding this dog was easy, but avoiding the crap he chased you into was much harder. A savvy player could shut him up with a well-tossed newspaper, but aiming correctly meant nearly crashing into other fixtures of suburbia such as Hell's Angels, tornadoes and the Grim Reaper. Yes, this damn dog was scarier than Death itself.
#7.
The "Polygon Monster" from Out of This World
In this 1991 cult favorite, you play Lester, a dumpy physicist who is teleported to an alien dimension when his particle accelerator goes kaput. The 2-D side-scroller played by Contra rules: one hit and you're boned. Among the hostiles Lester met was this unnamed polygon monster. As soon as you arrived in the alien world, this fanged trapezoid immediately chased Lester off a cliff. If you failed to grab a nearby vine, the damn game was over in a crummy 90 seconds. This opening sequence helps explains why Out of This World only sold four copies.
#6.
The Cherub from Doom 3
Half Gerber baby, half Rosemary's baby, the Cherubs were the only scary thing about Doom 3, other than the painful fact that we shelled out $50 for this snoozer back in 2004. This was one of the very few actually frightening monsters in the game. It's not that the other monsters didn't look scary--they did--it's just that they were total idiots. When the Hell Knight got trapped behind a stack of crates, our hearts went out to him. It was like watching a three-legged puppy trying to catch a Frisbee. However, we had no sympathy for the cherubs. These enfants terrible came after our space marine like his body armor was covered in lactating breasts. Observe: When battling these diaper demons, we often resorted to the coward's tactic of haplessly waving around the chainsaw and closing our eyes until everything was dead. |
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They never actually mentioned what makes the wallmasters terrifying. The way there's a strange groaning noise. Then a shadow starts to appear below you. Then there's finally a whooshing noise as they drop down from the ceiling, and you have to jump aside at the last second. Worst of all, they never die for good.
The worst video game enemy hands down is centaurs from fallout 3. Those things are most pants-shitingly creepy things I have ever seen.
Giygas. Earthbound. No questions asked.
i remember the wallmasters. creepy but not scary.
I didn't have splatterhouse. Sounds scary, though. Too bad no vid.
The paperboy dog was more frustrating than scary. You're just barely going thru the obstacles, and then the dog, which was faster than all of them, would bite your butt. Never got past Monday.
Out of this world ony sold 4 copies? The author had one I guess.
Those Doom babies have creepy cries. A mix of wah wah and rooargh!Makes sense.
Never played Bubble bobble. And it didn't sound that scary.
The sonic water thing definetely agree on. I freaked out everytime at this, and also at the time when Sonice got squished by a boulder and the Dom! sound.
Sinstar sounds sinister. The red eyes and fangs...
The head crabs from Half life didn't seem scary at all. Maybe if they added red eyes and fangs!
Evil Otto shouldn't be number one. I clicked on the link, but I didn't see people dying. Probably some dummies who wanted to see how long they could play and succumbed to death. Bleah.
The yeti from ski free should've been number one. You're just cruisin' then he comes and bites your head off! WTF?!
Those babyface fat sumo guys in Street of Rage. They blew fire and charged at you so fast they blurred!
Those things in RE4 that whimpers and came at you real slowly while making weird noises (regenerators). The parasatic dogs in RE4! And the invisible praying mantis insects things! AND THE CHAIN SAW MANIACS O.O
Link is too an elf. DOn't u see the ears?
I hated the wizzrobes fron any Zelda game, their laugh was so sinister.
!!!!!! What scared me shitless was that Store Keeper from Legend of Zelda, Link's awakening when you stole from him. I did it once, so innocently, and then out of curiousity I came back: ZAPPPPP. All the time he's SCREAMING at you with a manical look on his face as your hearts go down one by one....I literally dropped my gameboy and ran. Who the hell zaps you when you steal their items from their store? !!!!
I'd play RE in the dark before I'd have to live thru that again.
Sinistar himself made me s**t my pants when he first came and attacked me. Me's pretty f*****g scary in that he roars and flies at you at mach 6 and he's harder than hell to avoid.
Giygas, anyone?
if this list was "top 20" it should have had: the hunter or guardians from dead space, the spiders from rayman 2 (they played screechy music and turned invisible), the octopods from medievil 2, and the final boss of tomb raider 1 ...*shudder*
What happened to alma from FEAR?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWj9w9HDApQ
This voice seriously almost made me piss myself when I first played this game.
I'm very surprised it's not on here.
It's up there with your extremely accurate Sonic-water.
where the HELL is the yeti from skifree? It should be number one on the list
The water in Sonic and Sonic 2 made me frustrated to the point of nausea. That music still makes me a little queasy.
I used to love drowning Sonic...and making him fire-walk on lava...and poking holes in his blue ass with spikes. Actually, I think I spent more of my childhood torturing Sonic than playing with him.
Where are any of the "Silent Hill"s?
I'll have to say the scariest enemies for me were the fish from Half-Life, Iron Maidens from RE4, and the headless suicide bombers from Serious Sam....I haven't played that game in 6 years and I still hear those fuckers scream. Oh, and all of Prey. That game was just f*****g wrong, especially watching a possessed child beat up and throw another little kid into a spike.
And Muffles, those were WAMPAS in Shadows of the Empire. Like the yeti-thing from Empire Strikes Back.
If you watch a video on Berzerk you'll notice that when you kill a robot, for like a half second when it's exploding, it shows a smiley face. lulz
In regards to the comment about Splatterhouse, if this were 1990, I most certainly WOULD be 'losing my s**t', as I would be exactly 6 days old.
Facehugger from aliens vs. predator > all. If it got, you, you DIED. And it didnt give any hints of its existence before jumping on your FACE. Game over man, gameover!
They forgot the wookies from Shadows of the Empire. The first time I opened that door and saw the wookie behind it rush at me, I was gripped with a terror so primal it makes me wonder if, perhaps, eons ago, when mankind was young, there were wookies, and they ate people. I've spoken to other people who played it, and they all felt the same fear when that wookie attacked.
Dude, where the hell is the Licker from Resident Evil 2? And Nemesis from Resident Evil 3? What about those damn naked kids that crawled through school in Silent Hill? f**k, those were creepy...
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The little baby monster from Silent Hill??? Those scared the s**t out of me many times. I hate those fuckers!