The 5 Most Ill-Advised Dating Sites on the Web
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#2.
Tallmingle.com
Find It Here: In Their Words: "A place where you could meet new friends and mingle with other tall singles or admirers!" In Our Words: "Quit spamming us you lanky bastards!" How It Works: Tallmingle.com works like any other dating site, except all of its members are tall. Finally, someone levels the playing field. Now maybe it won't just be short dudes scoring with the ladies for a change. Why It's a Bad Idea:
For those of you unaware, Tallmingle.com is the dating site that insists on dispatching their grammatically challenged spambot to inundate us with bizarrely rambling comments every single time we post a damn article. So what does that have to do with you and your love life? Well before you go to Tallmingle looking for the Ralph Sampson to match your Hakeem Olajuwon, consider this. When you visit a dating site, you would like to think that it's run by people with expertise in the area of attraction, right? Well here is what the folks at Tallmingle.com consider a worthy come on when it comes to getting people to visit their site ...
You don't see Neil Clark Warren pulling stunts like that, do you?
#1.
STDMatch.net
Find It Here: In Their Words: "Got an STD? Join today, be dating again tomorrow!" In Our Words: "Like Match.com with a more honest website address!" How It Works: STDMatch works like any other dating site in that everyone has an STD. The only real difference is nobody is lying about it. Why It's a Bad Idea:
Otherwise, do not, we repeat, do not out of some sense of curiosity go poking around STDMatch.net. Why? Because if any dating site anywhere on the internet has a higher concentration of smoking hot chicks than STDMatch.net, we have yet to find it. Hell, even the dudes are pretty fly. And then the realization will hit you. Anyone who has been to a regular dating site and pored through the pages and pages of average Janes and Joes and then suddenly stumbled across some drop dead gorgeous type always has the same thought right away ... "Wow, they look great, I wonder what's wrong with them?" After a trip to STDMatch.net, you'll know. You'll never be able to go to another dating site again without saying, "Wow, they're hot, too bad they have genital warts." And seriously, the ugly folks are few and far between at STDMatch. It's a damn goldmine. It puts that herpes commercial with the "Living the life I want!" jingle into a whole new perspective.
If you think we're lying, you're welcome to check it out for yourself, but we wouldn't recommend it. If you don't want to shatter the fantasy that the perfect 10 you met on Chemistry.com really isn't too good to be true, just take our word on this one. Read more from Adam at ScenicAnemia.com. If you liked that, you'll probably enjoy our look at The 10 Creepiest Craigslist Casual Encounters. If you decided to go ahead and test your resolve at STDMatch.net, you're probably going to eventually laugh knowingly at this spoof ad. Then find out about the crack team of roller blading commandos the French have put in charge of guarding the Olympic torch. This in addition to their primary duties: answering yes when asked if anything is more humiliating than being a bike cop. |
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On the surface, Tallmingle.com is no better or worse than any other goofy niche dating site. But if you read the comments section of Cracked's daily articles, (and you should because they're often every bit as hilarious as the articles themselves), then you're already familiar with Tallmingle.com and you know where we're going with this.
You probably think we're going to say going to STDMatch.net is a bad idea because you could catch an STD. Negatory good buddy, if that was the issue we'd tell you going to the bar is a bad idea. In fact, if you already have a "gift" of your own, STDMatch is probably right for you.
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People with bipolar and schizophrenia are pretty much just like anyone else. Why shouldn't there be a dating site for us? BP people are generally more intelligent than the average person, thank you very much. And we make perfectly good mates. I'm in a fantastic relationship (with a guy who has ADHD). Would people find it disturbing if people with diabetes are looking to date? It's not much different.
*sigh* a close female relative of mine (i didn't say mom, who said it was my mom?) actually met her fiance on a site like STDMatch.com (though not that one specifically). They're getting married in a few months, so I guess every now and then those things actually work (even though i don't really like the guy and i'm always thankful that the timing worked out so i moved out not long before he moved in).
Yes, I find another STD dating site that need to promote is that" HerpesLoving.com".
Loved this article, but the behind bars one made me kind of sad.
Yes, these woman would chew my genitals and then call me sussie..but their still lonely, looking for love maybe?
-AC
The spambots have gone into a lather about this one...
no longer lonely is hlarious. 2 mental people is a great recipe for disaster. check out the top ten worst condom ideas at
studyandscore.blogspot.com
Also try Millmatch.com A dating site for Anna Nicole-Smith-worshipping gold diggers, who can pick a millionaire from a large database and endevour to shag him to death and inherit his fortune. My words, not theirs. It makes sense really because millionaires are notorious for never getting laid???!!!
I wanna date the chick who just posted.
my vibrator is way too cool for dating sites.
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@emily912
a) people with "bipolar and schizophrenia" are NOT "pretty much just like anyone else". whilst not saying they are inferior in ANY WAY i am saying that there is a reason why they need a site just for them in the first place.
b) im not sure (by which i mean im pretty bloody sure they didnt) that cracked.com actually meant to insult you or the mentally handicapped (or handicapable or whatever you kids are calling yourself these days) by the article, in a similar way that it did not mean to insult the jailed or commuting crowd. dont take it so personally. and also i dont believe anywhere in the article was an indicator of opinion over whether the site SHOULD exist. it was just making gentle fun of it and pointing out the flaws. this is a sarcastic humour site. get over it.
c) yes im sure you "make perfectly good mates" but there are some things that a potential suitor would like to know BEFORE he/she starts dating someone. things like that one or both of the lovebirds has a life changing and possible dibilitating mental disorder.
d) where the heck did you get the idea that BP people are "generally more intelligent than the average person, thank you very much" do you actually have any evidence or did you just conjure that out of thin air to make BP something for "normal" people to aspire to? has a proper physiological study been done to investigate it? or are the only BP people you know real brainboxes?of course if you have evidence or even an example of a genuine scientific body investigating the matter either way, i will be more than happy to evaluate my comments.
e) its VERY different. diabetes would not affect a "normal" relationship in the same way ADHD or BP would.
f) congrats on your happy relationship! i hope you can keep your disorder under control to avoid killing yourself and/or him in a manic depressive bout. THATS why there is a need for a website specifically for mentally handicapped!
well, im glad i got that out of my system. i guess i shouldnt be so hard on you, maybe you were depressed?
Peace y'all!