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The 5 Most Ridiculously Over-Hyped Health Scares of All Time

By Adam Brown March 27, 2008 1,403,515 views
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#4.
Artificial Sweeteners, Circa the '60s

In the 1960s, cyclamates (salts of cyclamic acid) were the artificial sweetener of choice for health conscious consumers everywhere. Although initially only intended for use by the obese and diabetics, they quickly gained popularity among those who wanted to eat like the obese without becoming diabetics.

This all changed in 1969 when FDA scientist, Dr. Jacqueline Verrett, went on the NBC Nightly News to tell the world that baby chick embryos injected with cyclamates suffered from severe birth defects. And she had pictures of the deformed birds to back her claim up! When it comes to putting an entire nation off of non-caloric sweets, few things are as effective a picture of a grotesquely malformed bird. Here's one we made ...

... maybe that's a bad example, because that was kind of awesome. But you get the idea.

At any rate, there's a reason the FDA likes its scientists to run the results of their wacky lab experiments past their peers before they take to national television to share them with the world. In this case, Dr. Verrett's peers were quick to point out that, while the results of her experiment were troubling, most humans didn't get their artificial sweeteners by way of in-the-womb injections and therefore may not be affected in the same way.

But when tests performed a few days later showed that cyclamates caused bladder cancer in 8 out of 240 rats when consumed in an also-real-world-applicable dosage equaling 350 cans of diet soda per day, the deal was sealed. Cyclamates were banned in America.

In the years since the ban, tests on cyclamates have continued but none of them have been able to duplicate the results of the 1969 tests. The World Health Organization along with several other research groups has gone so far as to publicly declare that the evidence shows no link between cyclamates and cancer. Nevertheless, subsequent appeals of the initial cyclamate ban have all been rejected and cyclamates are still unavailable in the United States.

But don't lose too much sleep over it, our team of scientists have conducted some studies of their own and 4 out of 5 of them agree, even if cyclamates were available, most of us would still be lard asses anyway.

In 1969, Cyclamates killed fewer people than ...

... were killed by Moose attacks.

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154 Comments

Putting DDT on this list is absurd. It wasn't so much banned for its carcinogenic effects as much as for its absolutely devastating ecological impact. And like it or not, the state of the environment DOES affect the state of humanity eventually.

But don't worry, the United States still to this day manufactures and sells DDT to third-world countries (you know, the ones that don't care about human rights, much less human responsibility to the environment).

7/3/2009 10:29:33 AM
slarso

DDT is no longer useful for preventing malaria; most mosquitos are now resistant to it. Still, the hippies should shut up.

4/28/2009 9:08:43 PM
CorruptUser

To all the nuclear power proponents: It really isn't nearly as cheap as you make it out to be. It's just cleaner, which in my view, already recommends it enough.

4/28/2009 8:34:04 PM
iheartjihad

Heh. Haven't heard about DDT since The Machine used it to try and kill Willy in the Free Willy Cartoon. GOOD times...

4/18/2009 9:08:04 PM
BATZARRO

The China Syndrome and Three Mile Island is what caused all nuclear power plant building to come to a screeching halt. Thereafter we have visions of glowing green whenever we we hear the word "nuclear" much less use it. This is still true dispite the many years of safe use by electrical utilities (and military aboard ships and subs.)
Oh yeah, those of that will bring up Chernobyl should note that it envolved a screwball, obsolete reactor design that we don't use and there are modern pebble bed reactor designs that would be as safe as running a microwave.

3/20/2009 10:28:42 AM
thunderguppy

And those environmentalist got the DDT banned once it had removed the malaria from their continents. Once they were safe from it, save the f*****g birds!, who cares of the africans and asians that still die in millions because of no DDT?

2/24/2009 12:32:28 PM
traktor

"No, when you absolutely, positively must kill every m**********r in the room, crocidolite or amosite is what you need."

Substitutes not accepted. That made me laugh a lot.

1/29/2009 5:50:25 PM
rachel_renegade

The Mad Cow Disease scare should be on there. 319 cases out of 6.5 billion, and there isn't conclusive evidence that eating mad cow beef gives you the disease, scary s**t

1/19/2009 12:51:19 PM
Asparagus

WTF1920, the amount of radiation from 3 mile island was far less than a chest x-ray, that level of radiation is basically negligible, nuclear power is still the cleanest most effective alternative power source available today

12/10/2008 9:47:48 PM
terminusthrall

Lol @ MarcAbian's comment.

12/5/2008 9:07:56 PM
Umup0

Don't forget the obviously fake video of the lady pouring out the diet pepsi and a syringe came out.

12/5/2008 5:48:55 AM
RacerE7773

The less hazardous chemicals around us, the better. I'm not saying we all have to be hemp-wearing, organic-eating hippies, but I can say that I wouldn't send my daughter to a school full of asbestos, even 'harmless' asbestos that is 'more easily' expelled from the lungs. Although, living in NYC, I doubt that any asbestos is as dangerous as the air outside.

11/18/2008 1:39:22 PM
kvinnan86

Asbestos Over-Hyped? I don't think so. It doesn't have to kill you right away to be dangerous. It can cause lung cancer 20 years AFTER exposure. Same thing with Three Mile Island. And these "statistics" can be manipulated to downplay the dangers of anything.

11/17/2008 8:18:37 PM
WTF1920

Yaraday
lots of people die from dihydrogen monoxide every year... ps learn to swim people!!!

11/11/2008 11:16:11 AM
shawnaldo

Asbestos isn't a big deal for short exposure... but what about the teachers who work for decades in the school... or do you not count them?

11/2/2008 9:36:45 PM
volterwd

Bird flu not dangerous?
Hmmm, very clear evidence on one side, someone called Luftwaffe commenting on Cracked.com on the other...

I just don't know which to believe.

10/25/2008 3:56:43 PM
MarcAbian

Don't forget to include SARS and the Bird Flu on this list.

10/23/2008 11:42:09 AM
Luftwaffe

How about that dihydrogen monoxide scare? Nasty stuff....

:P

9/25/2008 4:14:48 PM
Yaraday

This article reminded of last year when everyone in the United States died of avian flu. It was sad when that happened.

Oh yeah, and when everyone in the US died from eating apples sprayed with Alar. That was really sad too.

By the way, everyone in the US is going to die from all the plastic we use. We will all be dead by the end of next week. It will be sad.

9/18/2008 5:53:10 AM
soup-on-a-stick

If a spider doesnt wanna get killed, it shouldnt make a web in my house...

So if you don`t want weird diseases like malaria - dont live in a jungle.

Stop f*****g with nature. DDT is not a solution for a reason, you literally can't eliminate a species just because it inconvienences you, go read war of the worlds and origin of species, get some perspective

Some of you should be taking notes

9/17/2008 3:12:37 PM
chuck_steak

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