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The 5 Most Ridiculously Over-Hyped Health Scares of All Time

By Adam Brown March 27, 2008 1,403,250 views
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Fear is our national pastime. As a society, we have a long history of getting whipped into a collective frenzy over threats to our health or children that are nearly (or completely) non-existent. No danger is too small or remote to be exaggerated and screamed from the headlines.

For example:

#5.
Three Mile Island

On March 28, 1979, what should have been a minor plumbing problem somehow escalated into a reactor fuel meltdown at the Three Mile Island Nuclear Station in Pennsylvania. Within five days, the Governor had ordered the evacuation of all children and pregnant women (fuck you, dad!) within a five-mile radius of the area. Since that time, the name Three Mile Island has been synonymous with nuclear disaster. Hooters even named one of their hottest (and most delicious) wing sauces after it!

But unlike other nuclear disasters, Chernobyl for example, which caused at least 4,000 eventual deaths, Three Mile Island was responsible for a whopping zero fatalities. In fact, there weren't even any injuries. Later tests revealed that the level of radiation people were exposed to in the five-mile radius was equivalent to the amount of radiation a person is exposed to while flying on a commercial airliner. In other words, the danger was nil.

So why all the ruckus? Much like that restraining order Catherine Zeta-Jones slapped us with a few years back, we blame Michael Douglas for this.

Just 12 days prior to the incident at TMI, The China Syndrome premiered. In the film, Michael Douglas plays a television news reporter who surreptitiously films a nuclear power plant crew as a near meltdown is taking place. As luck would have it, the events depicted in the movie almost perfectly mirrored what occurred at TMI. With the movie stirring public debate about the safety of nuclear power, there was no way the incident at TMI occurring just days later would do anything less than scare the ever-loving shit out of people. And that's exactly what it did.


"Hi, I'm a giant asshole."

In 1979, Three Mile Island killed fewer people than ...

Robot attacks. Ford factory worker Robert Williams was killed when a robot hit him in the head, thus outranking Three Mile Island's death toll, 1-0.

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154 Comments

Putting DDT on this list is absurd. It wasn't so much banned for its carcinogenic effects as much as for its absolutely devastating ecological impact. And like it or not, the state of the environment DOES affect the state of humanity eventually.

But don't worry, the United States still to this day manufactures and sells DDT to third-world countries (you know, the ones that don't care about human rights, much less human responsibility to the environment).

7/3/2009 10:29:33 AM
slarso

DDT is no longer useful for preventing malaria; most mosquitos are now resistant to it. Still, the hippies should shut up.

4/28/2009 9:08:43 PM
CorruptUser

To all the nuclear power proponents: It really isn't nearly as cheap as you make it out to be. It's just cleaner, which in my view, already recommends it enough.

4/28/2009 8:34:04 PM
iheartjihad

Heh. Haven't heard about DDT since The Machine used it to try and kill Willy in the Free Willy Cartoon. GOOD times...

4/18/2009 9:08:04 PM
BATZARRO

The China Syndrome and Three Mile Island is what caused all nuclear power plant building to come to a screeching halt. Thereafter we have visions of glowing green whenever we we hear the word "nuclear" much less use it. This is still true dispite the many years of safe use by electrical utilities (and military aboard ships and subs.)
Oh yeah, those of that will bring up Chernobyl should note that it envolved a screwball, obsolete reactor design that we don't use and there are modern pebble bed reactor designs that would be as safe as running a microwave.

3/20/2009 10:28:42 AM
thunderguppy

And those environmentalist got the DDT banned once it had removed the malaria from their continents. Once they were safe from it, save the f*****g birds!, who cares of the africans and asians that still die in millions because of no DDT?

2/24/2009 12:32:28 PM
traktor

"No, when you absolutely, positively must kill every m**********r in the room, crocidolite or amosite is what you need."

Substitutes not accepted. That made me laugh a lot.

1/29/2009 5:50:25 PM
rachel_renegade

The Mad Cow Disease scare should be on there. 319 cases out of 6.5 billion, and there isn't conclusive evidence that eating mad cow beef gives you the disease, scary s**t

1/19/2009 12:51:19 PM
Asparagus

WTF1920, the amount of radiation from 3 mile island was far less than a chest x-ray, that level of radiation is basically negligible, nuclear power is still the cleanest most effective alternative power source available today

12/10/2008 9:47:48 PM
terminusthrall

Lol @ MarcAbian's comment.

12/5/2008 9:07:56 PM
Umup0

Don't forget the obviously fake video of the lady pouring out the diet pepsi and a syringe came out.

12/5/2008 5:48:55 AM
RacerE7773

The less hazardous chemicals around us, the better. I'm not saying we all have to be hemp-wearing, organic-eating hippies, but I can say that I wouldn't send my daughter to a school full of asbestos, even 'harmless' asbestos that is 'more easily' expelled from the lungs. Although, living in NYC, I doubt that any asbestos is as dangerous as the air outside.

11/18/2008 1:39:22 PM
kvinnan86

Asbestos Over-Hyped? I don't think so. It doesn't have to kill you right away to be dangerous. It can cause lung cancer 20 years AFTER exposure. Same thing with Three Mile Island. And these "statistics" can be manipulated to downplay the dangers of anything.

11/17/2008 8:18:37 PM
WTF1920

Yaraday
lots of people die from dihydrogen monoxide every year... ps learn to swim people!!!

11/11/2008 11:16:11 AM
shawnaldo

Asbestos isn't a big deal for short exposure... but what about the teachers who work for decades in the school... or do you not count them?

11/2/2008 9:36:45 PM
volterwd

Bird flu not dangerous?
Hmmm, very clear evidence on one side, someone called Luftwaffe commenting on Cracked.com on the other...

I just don't know which to believe.

10/25/2008 3:56:43 PM
MarcAbian

Don't forget to include SARS and the Bird Flu on this list.

10/23/2008 11:42:09 AM
Luftwaffe

How about that dihydrogen monoxide scare? Nasty stuff....

:P

9/25/2008 4:14:48 PM
Yaraday

This article reminded of last year when everyone in the United States died of avian flu. It was sad when that happened.

Oh yeah, and when everyone in the US died from eating apples sprayed with Alar. That was really sad too.

By the way, everyone in the US is going to die from all the plastic we use. We will all be dead by the end of next week. It will be sad.

9/18/2008 5:53:10 AM
soup-on-a-stick

If a spider doesnt wanna get killed, it shouldnt make a web in my house...

So if you don`t want weird diseases like malaria - dont live in a jungle.

Stop f*****g with nature. DDT is not a solution for a reason, you literally can't eliminate a species just because it inconvienences you, go read war of the worlds and origin of species, get some perspective

Some of you should be taking notes

9/17/2008 3:12:37 PM
chuck_steak

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