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What better way to raise awareness of an issue than through a nice Public Service Announcement? And what better way to get people to pay attention than to make your PSA batshit insane? Here are 10 that will probably haunt your dreams. #10.
Masturbation and Your Pet
The people at TakeTheAction.com are out to stop masturbation. The website lets us know that if we agree with the following statement, "I see successful people and want to become like them. I understand that I spend most of my time in masturbation and that they don't," then they can help us. If that didn't convince you, perhaps their "animated with magic marker and typing paper" PSA will:
Most Unsettling Moment: No question, it's the moment 30 seconds in when we realize the subject's masturbation has killed his dog, in some unthinkable way. So we can make fun of TakeTheAction and their quest, but seriously, if masturbation is preventing you from leaving the house and has killed even one animal, please do seek professional help. #9.
Workplace Safety is Terrifying
Canadians love themselves some safety. It's right up there with beavers and mounties as things they can't get enough of. But as any beaver rustler will tell you, sometimes things get out of hand and the shit hits the fan. Luckily the Workplace Safety and Insurance board is here to watch out for workers by scaring the living shit out of TV viewers on a regular basis. This series of 5 commercials run any old time on Canadian TV, scarring young and old alike with their quick and frank depictions of horrible atrocities befalling random workers.
The message? Everything is somebody's fault, dammit. Probably YOURS. Most Unsettling Moment: Nothing tops the lady's melted face in the first spot, implying that the restaurant was boiling a soup pot full of that toxic waste from Robocop. #8.
AIDS and Gay Porn Cartoons
French people apparently live on an entirely different plane of reality than those of us in North America, as evidenced by this PSA for preventing AIDS that makes just short of absolutely no sense whatsoever in any language.
Though the meaning may be lost, it's clear that horrifying things occur in France. The idyllic Sims world of our hero is shattered by witnessing a knife fight which apparently turns him irrevocably gay. From there it's on to a string of man-love encounters, cartoon-like violence, a man fighting a dog and then a full body cast brought on by an intense round of our hero being hate-crimed before his doctor molests him. Most Unsettling Moment: The animated anal boner-spin (at 1:30) almost takes the top spot, but we're probably going to have to go with the two young lovers riding the Bonercoaster (one of the penis-themed amusement park rides that we heard are common in France) one minute in. At one point the car is covered in an enormous condom, which implies that somewhere down the tracks they're going to be riding right into a gigantic, possibly diseased, orifice. #7.
VD is for Everybody
Educating the world about the dangers of venereal disease is serious business. We can hardly have a functioning society if half of us have to stay home washing and rewashing our ass beards with crab shampoo while the rest of us are running all akimbo through the streets in a syphilis-induced state of dementia. We'd be no better than France. On the other hand, setting the concept of every bright, smiling person in your neighborhood being riddled with disease to a lazy waltz with catchy lyrics may not be the best way to let everyone know of potential dangers.
By showing the pregnant lady, your child's teacher, the guy handling your food at the store, the librarian and a baby as filthy, pox-laden cesspools, the Ad Council may have just managed to make any impressionable viewers deathly afraid of any and all human contact. Most Unsettling Moment: We thought this ad had hit the bad taste apex 40 seconds in when the diseased man emerged from the water with his seven-year-old lover. Then, it tops itself just six seconds later when "VD is for Everybody" plays over the face of a smiling infant. In our opinion, no sex is safe at that age. #6.
The Homosexual Scourge
The '50s were an enlightened time when film really took off as a tool to educate and inform. One of the most important topics that needed to be covered for the benefit of all young men was, of course, the danger of the homosexual. The homosexual, like Bigfoot, is apparently a singular, mythical beast only seen by lone travelers who have strayed from the pack. Also like Bigfoot, the homosexual will give young athletes rides and be incredibly friendly the entire time before taking them back to his den and infecting them with homosexuality.
Most Unsettling Moment: A minute in, after the homosexual has lured innocent young Jimmy into his den of sickness, we see the homosexual driving away. Alone. We cannot see into the car to see if the homosexual has killed Jimmy and made a suit out of his skin, but we must presume that he has. |
Wow. Where to start? LOVE the Mommy Darci---particularly since (I'm guessing out loud here) future teen moms probably catch a lot of TV. Good approach, and probably well supported by the LDS in that LDS heavy state. Canadian accidents? Who supported that one, the Canadian Trial Lawyers' Association? "The company shoulda", "The company forgot to", the company didn't wipe my ass properly"---get a flippin' clue! Gosh, I didn't know it was a bad idea to reach from the top of a ladder, over a glass case, and replace a light bulb. If there was a policy, would that illiterate have followed it? Mmmm, I'm doubtin' it. And the French AIDS ad? Gosh, just another reason to detest the French. Or to hope they all ignore the ad's punch line. Ewww. The suicide bombing ad is good for what it is---and might in fact be useful. No secret that some people don't think through the consequences of their actions (see above). If it makes one guy decide not to go boom, then it's worth it. The Australian Cancer ad? Make ten more and put 'em on American TV. I treat these people every day. Not...the most...foresighted people on earth. Appeals to abstract thinking are typically a waste. Put it in terms they can absorb---like, "Hey, Jocelyn, if you smoke like a furnace your lips will fall off and you'll never---I mean, NEVER---get laid". Now there's a PSA.
You know what's a lot more damaging then masturbation? Rape, which is what 99% of young men would be doing if they couldn't beat their meat. And 'feeding the dog' is my new phrase for masturbation. As in: I'm gonna go feed the dog all over that sluts face.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=E5JClvSNOU0 That is the BEST PSA EVER.
Who screams "THERE'S BEEN AN ACCIDENT!!!" And why didn't she wait until the grease(or whatever it was)cooled?
Northern Ireland has a history of horrifying road safety ads. The newest one, however, seems to reach new heights. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CItzzlCEeMg The highlight (besides the crushed boy spitting out his yellow insides)might be the end tagline.
The Arabic stuff in the suicide bombing PSA says (in white, the first long one) Whoever kills one person... it is as though they have killed all of mankind (it's from the Qur'an). The bleeding red word is "Terrorism" and the white stuff that appears underneath it roughly translates as "it's unacceptable" or "there's no excuse for it." Now you know.
FYI, babies get venereal diseases if their mother have them while giving birth. Mothers with VD probably should give birth via c-section. Love the article by the way. Too bad there's no Malaysian ones. We have this one road safety PSA where dead bodies move on the road instead of cars, and there's a voice chanting 'Be careful on the road!!!' (creepier in Malay, trust me) Creepy.
I can't make it stop! CURSE YOU CRACKED...CURSE YOU!!! Sugar baby love...sugar baby...damn it...
#1 has got to be the most visually awesome PSA ever. I mean, EXPLOSIONS!!! But yeah, total Swordfish rip-off. Surpirsed people remembered that movie (oh, wait, naked Halle Berry of course!!). To be serious though, most REAL Islamic cleric will tell you that suicide bombers (that blow civilians mostly, but even during war) go to hell. I think even Muslims can safely call the bombers infidels.
"After all, are the people who are considering it going to be discouraged by the site of infidels flying through the air and screaming?" HAHAHA! Classic!
2ctype: lol...give me a break. I was only typing with one hand.
Loved the "VD is for Everyone" one.
Ranger, (I want to beat your face)... with sentence structure!
homosexuality isn't visible like smallpox? thats just fooking hilarious.
lmfao, they were all just funny as hell, except for the smoking one, ugh.
I screamed: 'There's been an accident!' once (condom broke...but, I pulled out in time!). As I didn't give her my real name anyway (and we were on the school grounds just waiting for the bus to pick her up)...so all is kewl! I DID send her this however: http://neilsnotes.com/index.php?page=13&catid=17&sku=ENGL-CD00310
Do those French ads actually air on regular television? I couldn't imagine those being Saturday morning during Pee Wee's Playhouse...oh, wait, maybe they could have worked there.
Does anyone actually scream, "THERE'S BEEN AN ACCIDENT!" after such tragic events? I would imagine it's filled with more cussing and just "get help".
Hey, Dark? Even though there have been people there for 42,000 years... they were invaded and taken over by the Brits. Which would in fact make the woman BRITISH. Same people, just a different area to live.
Seriously, all you need is duct tape.
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SirMeatwad
The people at takeaction.com are retarded. Here's what they said about masterbation."It prevents you from making your life's dreams come true." Wow.