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The 5 Most Badass Presidents of All-Time
As we all prepare to spend a long weekend enjoying Presidential Savings on mattresses and used Toyotas, we could take time to thank some of the presidents who passed bills that protect some of the freedoms your enjoy daily. Or we could spend the day celebrating the presidents who are decidedly more Action Movie Heroes than diplomats. Anyway, guess which kind of president this website decided to focus on? #5.
Andrew Jackson
When the 1828 election rolled around, a lot of people were terrified when they heard Andrew "Old Hickory" Jackson was running. If you're wondering how a guy we're calling a bad ass got such a lame nickname, it's because he used to carry a hickory cane around and beat people senseless with it, and if you're wondering why he did that, it's because he was a fucking lunatic.
How do we know? Well, despite everyone's best efforts, Jackson was elected to the top office, and when he wasn't busy shaping the Presidency as we know it today, you could find him out back dueling. In case you haven't been to the 18th century lately, this unmanly sounding activity actually involves standing across from an armed man and shooting at him while he in turn shoots at you. The number of duels that Jackson took part in varies depending on what source you consult; some say 13, while others rank the number somewhere in the 100's, both of which are entirely too many times for a reasonable human being to stand in front of someone who is strying to kill them with a loaded gun. On one occasion, he challenged a man named Charles Dickinson to a duel, (the reason behind it wasn't important, not to us and certainly not to Jackson), and Jackson was even kind enough to give Dickinson the first shot. We're gonna go ahead and repeat that: In a duel with pistols, Jackson politely volunteers to be shot at first. Dickinson happily obliged and shot Jackson, who proceeded to shake it off like it was a bee sting. When Jackson returned the favor, Dickinson was not so lucky, and that's why his face isn't on the twenty. The bullet, by the by, remained in Jackson's body for 19 years because, we assume, Jackson knew that time spent removing the bullets would just fall under the general category of "time not dueling," Jackson's least favorite category.
Greatest Display of Badassedry:
The guns were inspected afterwards and it was discovered that they were in perfect working order, leading some historians to believe that it was an odds-defying "miracle" that Jackson survived, while we're pretty sure that the bullets, like everyone else, were simply scared of Jackson.
Most Badass Quote:
That's right. In a life rich with murdering people for little-to-no reason, Jackson's only regret was that he didn't kill quite enough people. People like Calhoun who, it should be noted, was Jackson's vice president. |
Former Democratic Senator and Secretary of the Treasurey Albert Gallatin feared a Jackson presidency because of his "habitual disregard of laws and constitutional provisions." Or in other words, the man was a loose canon--17th Century Washigton's answer to Martin Riggs. Sure, he probably didn't have an irate black lieutenant to answer to, or a weary partner who was too old for this shit, but he most certainly had a death wish.
316 Comments
And make no mistake...Lincoln was hung. He didn't even use a sword in that pit! HAWT!
OK, a few people have mentioned honest Abe Lincoln mainly for his manly civil war actions and anti-slavery actions, which was all pretty brave. But it doesn't stop there. Duelling with broadswords in a pit. Never forget. http://www.failedsuccess.com/index.php?/weblog/comments/abraham_lincoln_duel/ (Another Aussie reminding the US of their own history)
I'm laughing & learning. I'm leaugrhing
Laughing so hard. These guys were ridiculous! (though they're right about the seventeenth century thing-- isn't it close enough to be a response from the 1600's?)
Andrew Jackson, though he was a veritable hardass, wasn't alive in the 17th century. Just saying.
When it comes to near Genocidal assholes, AJ was a badass. In comparison, Adolf Hitler was a failed art student and vegetarian.
I'm going to reiterate the comment below: ANDREW JACKSON IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE TRAIL OF TEARS. There's nothing bad-ass about that. and for future reference if you're talking centuries the 17th century was the 1600's and the 18th was the 1700's ..douche. seriously.
Its interesting that the part of the story that is often left untold about San Juan Hill is that when the Rough Riders reached the top, with or without their horses, a black regiment had beat them to the punch. I wonder why Teddy left that out of his report?
Ah, Andrew Jackson. Old Hickory was my favorite president for a couple reasons; one, his nickname was Old Hickory, two, if he didn't like you, he shot you, and finally, a wound from the War of 1812 never healed so it continuously bled and leaked fluid for thirty years after the war was over
i've done some research on him, and from the looks of it... he's a Republican. That explains alot now!
"I've got a boner for murder!" -TR
You forgot that he marched in and forced the entire Cherokee nation off their land and marched them from Georgia to Oklahoma, after the Supreme Court recognized the Cherokee as an independent nation. This guy is a douchebag before there were even douchebags.
I thought Clinton was supposed to be moral? Sounded like he was a slag to me. The rest seem cool though. If a lil irate, though rather them than that dumbarse you have as president at the moment.
da dude
Amazing, Washington is the biggest bad ass president
Hollister
I do not think any of the above is true! He save over 150 national Parks! How does that make him bad?
Who here hasn't 'jerked it' (at LEAST once) during a Shania Twain video? www.NeilsNotes.com OH...GREAT Bush-Bashing at: http://neilsnotes.com/index.php?catid=37
4Moreyrs
Jackson was just a lunatic. Theodore Roosevelt ( he hated being called Teddy) definitely deserves to be on top of this one. Just because you name your guns, walk around beating people with a stick, and always think of killing someone doesn't make you a badass. If it did Charles Manson would be on top of a Badass list that would also include Leatherface, Jason Vorhees, Micheal Myers, and Freddy Crueger. Jackson was hardcore and didn't take shit from anyone, however he should have been in the nuthouse, not the whitehouse. The most badass commander-in-chief ever, and possibly till the end of time, hands down is TR.
Biggest misconception about Canadian inventions... Baseball. That's right, you took the laziest sport and made it your own, but yes, we did play it first :)
Altoecko
The list is wrong, Andrew Jackson should be at the top. I mean, just look at the name of his two pistols her carried on him at all times.
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NinjaPolarBear
One more thing about Jackosn: He was a badass as a kid, too! He was a servant for some British officer, but when the bastard attacked him with his sabre (He has a scar running down the middle of his face for it), Jackson did what any boy at that age would have done: He fucking killed him. Also, if that wasn't awesome enough, during the war of 1812 (I think) Jackson led a small group of outlaws into British occupied New Orleans and, with the aid of some pirates (Probably too scared of Jackson to have said no to him), they took the city. Now, feel free to correct me in either of these, since I wasn't exactly the most attentative student in history class.